Hey guys, I have a question to ask yall.

(If you are coming from againstmensrights I promise I talk about more pressing issues lol.)

But back to my query, I was wondering why men get down on one knee and present a ring when proposing, so I tried to find info. I found this:

" One possible origin of the modern kneeling ideal is in the Middle Ages tradition of courtly love, in which a man of good birth essentially devoted himself (complete with poems, odes, deeds of honor, and general vassalage) to a noblewoman he perceived as superior. The entire principle of this popular attitude was that the man was a kind of servant to the woman, whom he idealized beyond all reality; and he performed his servitude by kneeling, spiritually and figuratively. (Whether they ever actually got together is a matter of historical debate. Probably not, in a lot of cases; many of the women in question were married.) Kneeling represented feudal surrender and admiration. Historians have actually had arguments about whether certain medieval images show men kneeling to their courtly loves, or to their male masters. But kneeling in general in European history has been a sign of supplication, humility, and servitude. A lot of Christian iconography of prayer, for instance, involves kneeling, expressing your service to and debasement before God; and it's also been pointed out that kneeling between men was a big sign of status. Knights kneeled before their lords to receive honors, and surrendering armies kneeled before their conquerors. Kneeling to the woman you're going to marry may be part of the same thing: a request for her favor and a physical demonstration of loyalty and surrender. "

what the hell??? This is so misandrist!

And about the ring:

" But rings themselves as engagement symbols were likely around for many centuries, but they turn up in law at several points. The Visigothic Code, a set of Spanish laws from the 7th century, declared that betrothal rings, like pledges in business, could not be revoked once they were given; you had to get married. Pope Nicholas I in 860 attempted to make an expensive, gold engagement ring legally necessary, so that men would make a significant monetary sacrifice and take the marriage seriously."

Draining.

This is particularly harsh on men like the Kikuyu who already have to do SO much for the woman:

I wrote about this in an article I wrote some time ago:

The Kikuyu tribe is the largest tribe in Kenya. According to Kikuyu traditions, after a man proposes to a woman (usually with a diamond ring, that he purchased himself, in modern society) him and his family visit his fiancee’s home, in a visit known as ‘Kumenya mucii’, where the groom and his family must provide gifts, such as cash or animals, and also bear all the expenses of the visit, such as the food and drinks for both families. After this, the groom has to pay ‘kuracia’ or a part of the dowry payment, which can include animals, cash, or assorted items for the father and the mother of the bride. On the eve of the wedding, the groom and his friends or family must come to the gate of the bride’s house and ask to be let in. The bride’s female friends and family will ask for gifts from the groom before they let him in, such as food or even money. This is called ‘kuhura hoti’. Than the bride and some other women will cover themselves and the groom has to pick which of the women are his bride, if he chooses incorrectly he will have to pay a fine. This is called “gucagura muka wake” Then when the actual wedding happens, the groom and his family must pay for a portion of it. It is important to note that paying dowry, in Kikuyu culture, lasts a lifetime.

So, after paying for several dates, gifts, the engagement ring, a portion of the dowry, various other payments throughout the engagement process, gifts for the mother and father of the bride, and a part of the wedding, what does the groom get for all his efforts? He gets to provide for the woman, and any children she has, for the rest of his life.

Am I the only one who thinks this is sexist or at least too much for the man???

I'm getting married to a Kikuyu man, and I will ask him what he thinks.