Edit: thank you all so much for your responses. I’ve never felt so heard before, partly because I’ve never expressed my views, and partly because a LOT of the people in my life are radical feminists who wouldn’t/don’t want to understand. I still think challenges face everyone (i.e., both men and women), but it’s been nice to have my own feelings validated for once. If only feminists could work with us rather than against us, maybe less people like me would end up having to seek attention from strangers on the internet.

Burner account because I need to rant.

I’m early 20s M, living in a Western European country. Being at university, I feel like I’m exposed to a lot of feminism’s ideologies in all their glory, and have been for a few years. When I first started out, I was fairly forgiving. I thought believing in equal rights and opportunity for everyone made me a feminist. But like a frog in boiling water, I hadn’t realised just how bad it’s become until now. Feminism is no longer about real, empathetic, social justice that is well intentioned. No. It’s become a toxic zero-sum game, ran by a bunch of narcissists.

What triggered this revelation? I’m a gay guy, and last week I was talking to my ‘friend’ (F). I know she’s a feminist. she’s one of those that actively tries to not date men as she claims they’re trash. One of the k!ll all men types. She said that me being a gay, white and male means that I am the most privileged of the minorities, insinuating that I have it easy. This girl knows fuck all about my life. It was a classic example of feminists making assumptions about people (men) based on what they perceive as a“privileged”person from a few simple characteristics. For a group that claims to dislike labels, they sure love assigning them to people based on superficial things if it allows them to gauge how much of an enemy to their cause you are.

Anyway, here’s the kicker, I’ve not had an easy life. This girl that knows fuck all about my upbringing and the challenges that I’ve had to overcome. My family are piss poor, parents split up, suffered bullying for being gay and poor, and went through school with undiagnosed dyslexia. Yes I know some people have it worse, but my point is that these “intersectional” feminists would rather die on a hill than admit that men can have it tough.

Sorry for the long rant. All I want to say is if you’re a feminist reading this, I’m just confused. I can understand the rationale behind wanting equal opportunities, but why has your cause turned into a witch hunt for men, many of whom you know precisely fuck all about? And to those feminists out there that aren’t narcissistic, man-hating nut jobs, I’m sorry if I’ve misunderstood your cause.

The fastest way to get someone to hate you is to tell them how much you hate them. Don’t be surprised when communities like this start growing because you’re demonising a group of people, based on characteristics that they didn’t even choose.

Edit: syntax