Looking for advice from men

xscott71x · 2023-07-16T14:59:12+00:00

Define and follow your short and long term goals
Ruthlessly uphold your personal standards
Don't put your dick in crazy or desperate chicks
Moderation in ALL things

Organic-Brotha · 2023-07-16T15:46:12+00:00

Come up with feasible 2, 5 & 10 year plans you can work towards slowly. Whether those are financial, career oriented a life goal or with a specific skill set, success happens through slow consistent effort.

KelVarnsenIII · 2023-07-16T14:37:29+00:00

Go to college, take up hobbies, interests, go hiking, biking, running. Swimming, write a book, research topics that interest you, Go on road trips and see things you've always wanted to see and do, join civil groups and get involved. Do things that give your life meaning and fulfillment.

Far-Salt-6946 · 2023-07-16T17:23:31+00:00

Ok here goes. 9 times out of 10 when we ask for advice online, we already know the answer. I suspect that you're not looking for advice, you're simply looking for permission. Take your own advice, think about the person who you want to be 11 years from now; do you want to be a father ? A husband ? An entrepreneur? Whatever it is.

Now think about the actions that person does on a daily basis to become who they are, do that. Life isn't a race, it's one day at a time.

Stairwayunicorn · 2023-07-16T13:42:38+00:00

check out thrift stores for some used dumbells and start using them. I'm in my 40s and just found out I have an impinged shoulder and bicep tendonitis. Don't wait to keep in shape.

WeEatBabies · 2023-07-16T14:04:35+00:00

Do not get married!

What are your hobbies, ... find a club!

What do you want out of life? Money, fame?

chiboulevards · 2023-07-16T15:36:52+00:00

Definitely do not get married and always wear a condom! You'd think accidental pregnancy is harder than it would seem since so many couples struggle to get and stay pregnant, but it can just take one time and your life as you knew it -- all of your hopes and dreams -- vanished.

AJWrecks · 2023-07-16T17:44:59+00:00

Richard cooper on YouTube: Author of the Unplugged Alpha will kick your ass to do more.

Mugwartherb7 · 2023-07-16T17:52:37+00:00

You have to look internally. Sit down and write out your short and long term goals. Im talking hourly, daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, 3,5,7,10,20 year goals. Now that your long term goal is set, actively take steps to achieve that. It’s easy said than done but this is a very basic idea of somebody you can do to achieve goals you have. Don’t find who/what you want to be via the internet, look at yourself

forest1000 · 2023-07-16T19:12:48+00:00

Remember, this is who I am and this is who I want to be. Stay true to yourself, your goals, wants and needs.

Don’t settle for anything less. Don’t settle for arm candy or when one asks what you do for a living or how much money you make. Watch for red flags. If she wants to sleep with you right away, she’s the wrong one. If she’s on her phone too much, she’s the wrong one. If she has no hobbies and doesn’t read, she’s the wrong one. If she can’t look after herself, she’s the wrong one. If she even hints that men are disposable, she’s the wrong one. If she makes jokes or puts you down about who you are, she’s the wrong one. If she’s got kids from more than one man, she the wrong one

Have a life plan and stick to it. At the end, there’s only you. Do what’s right so you can look yourself in the mirror everyday and know you didn’t hurt or harm anyone by acting or failing to act or using hurtful words when not required.

Find the right person to love and be loved.

Clockw0rk · 2023-07-16T19:42:50+00:00

Unfortunately, there's a lot of noise in the self help world. I cannot personally recommend any authors nor idols to aspire by that aren't long dead and largely irrelevant to the struggles of a modern American (I assume) young male.

If you don't have a good friend to talk to to work out things like hobbies and life goals, consider shopping around for a counselor or life coach. Avoid feminist trappings of trying to 'redefine masculinity'. Getting in touch with your emotions and understanding your motivations is something everyone should do, but not everyone can or should follow the same paths to get there.

You live in an age where we have no great trials into adulthood besides being ingested into the capitalist machine and expected to work towards some 'dream' that involves a house, a spouse, and 2.5 children. That path isn't for everyone.

But congratulations! Nearly 30. 30 is when adulthood really starts, for many people. The experimentation and education of the early twenties has finally settled down some, leaving a wide path open for introspection and aligning your priorities to who you truly are as a person.

Consider the arts. Consider more intellectual pursuits. Some folk say that a man's worth is his craft, so have one of those. It could be building lego sets, it could be designing models for a video game, it could be engineering the vaccines of tomorrow. Do something creative or inventive that will leave your tiny mark on history some place. Even if all you ever do is inspire one other person, you've accomplished something.

Take time to weigh your priorities. Are you where you want to live? Are you educated enough? Are you in touch with and in control of your sexuality? These are daunting questions, but they need answering. The more you understand yourself, the better you can self-actualize and fulfill your personal hierarchy of needs.

To quote Audioslave: "Be yourself is all that you can do"

shit-zen-giggles · 2023-07-16T17:03:07+00:00

Chris Williamson's youtube channel might be worth a look for you, I think. He was a party boy in his 20s and has since embarked on the personal development route.

Spektr44 · 2023-07-17T16:17:06+00:00

There are many toxic personalities billing themselves as gurus for men, and I would advise you to avoid them. Some genuinely good life advice youtube channels I would recommend are Mark Manson and HealthyGamerGG.

Ok-Yogurtcloset7394 · 2023-07-16T15:27:31+00:00

Jordan Peterson is good inspiration if you are looking for stuff like that

brianthalion · 2023-07-16T21:42:40+00:00

None of those.

1 don't get a serious job, make.your own way.

kiaeej · 2023-07-16T15:41:04+00:00

Bro, asking online isnt really good. Everyone’s life is slightly different. Its like asking to copy answers to an exam where everyone has a slightly different paper.

That said, find something you enjoy for work and can concentrate on. Then become the best at it. For example: i enjoyed working with my hands, so i tried many things. Painting, carpentry, plumbing, etc. Eventually i found i enjoyed engineering. So i became fairly good at it cos i studied and worked in it alongside similar people. Now i do what i enjoy and get well paid for it.

Also, dont get married cos someone demanded you do. Get married cos you WANT TO. Finding a good woman is difficult, but not impossible. Hot ones arent always good in the long term.

Rty4848 · 2023-07-16T14:27:02+00:00

Become real woman instead. Much easier life.

b-raddit · 2023-07-16T20:29:54+00:00

Elliot hulse, gravemind (used to be alwaysmassive) i like his mentality tapes, Dorian Yates, the construction life podcast. I've looked up to these guys for years.

Marriage with the right woman isn't a bad thing. It's marrying the wrong woman that is.

Top-Bumblebee8411 · 2023-07-16T22:23:49+00:00

You need to give us some more background on yourself for us to be helpful.

mantools · 2023-07-17T01:01:22+00:00

Some invaluable resources I've found:

Art of Manliness

Everything by Jack Donovan, but especially "The Way of Men"

"How to be a Man" film & "The Death of Cool" book by Gavin McInnes

mhk23 · 2023-07-16T19:06:03+00:00

Messaged you.

espositojoe · 2023-07-16T22:18:06+00:00

Any advice? Join the Catholic Church and practice the faith. It's the only non-woke faith that still encourages masculinity.

Tanman55555 · 2023-07-16T17:07:03+00:00

Remove time wasters like reddit and instagram and video games Learn about roth ira Become fit and learn about basic nutrition

Jean_o_tails · 2023-07-16T21:56:33+00:00

Read books in your search. Books that have at least been peer-reviewed. Youtube and whatnot is too full of free range grifters.

Title	Looking for advice from men
Author	windsquid1993
Upvotes	75
Comments	41
Date	July 16, 2023 1:38 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1516j9o/looking_for_advice_from_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/looking-for-advice-from-men.1225451 https://theredarchive.com/post/1225451

Comments

1 don't get a serious job, make.your own way.