They wanted equality, they're getting equality!

saleemlala · 2023-04-17T12:55:07+00:00

https://www.arabnews.com/node/2287321/offbeat Football wife loses divorce settlement bid for half PSG defender Achraf Hakimi's wealth registered in...

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[–]ElisaSKy 21 points22 points23 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

She knew what she was getting when she married him, right? She agreed to marry under these conditions. And then she sues him for money he doesn't own while she's wealthier than he is, and screws herself up big time.

Please pick one.

Does half the wealthier spouse's money belong to the less wealthy one, just because they're married? In that case, he's poorer since all his salary was paid to his mom, not to him, thus he owns nothing and was happy about it, and it's only fair she pays him half her money.

Does half the wealthier spouse's money not belong to the less wealthy spouse, and being married shouldn't change that? Then I'll remind you she sued him for money that didn't belong to her in the first place, which by your own standards amounts to a case of vexatious litigation backfired on her epically because "committing fraud" (your words) is the only way you can protect yourself from a vexatious litigation. I'll also remind you she could have just walked away without making a vexatious lawsuit against him, and kept all her money to herself had she not been greedy for money that didn't belong to her.

Personally, I'm of the opinion half the money of the wealthier spouse doesn't belong to the poorest one absent any explicit agreement to the contrary, and as such she made what amounts to a vexatious litigation... And by the terms of her own vexatious litigation, she was the one owing him money. The day these kinds of vexatious litigations will be seen as what they are, I'll be happy, but in the meantime, I'll take some measure of comfort in the fact that at least, the vexatious litigant in that case was hoist by her own petard.

[+]Actual_Charity6663 -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]ElisaSKy10 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Thank you, now we're getting somewhere.

Personally, I believe that the assets belong to the person earning them and belong to them alone until and unless they decide otherwise, through acts such as "gifts" and such contracts. That is, yes, I might have earned an hypothetical birthday present I gave to my hypothetical spouse, but yeah, it belongs to them since I willingly gave them.

In case of disagreement over whether an asset is shared, or a gift, or still belonging the one acquiring it, I would consider it fair that each asset under should be ascertained on a case-by-case basis, with assets used only by the person not acquiring it to be assumed as a gift (say, I buy a phone and my spouse is the only one using it, yeah, it's assumed to be a gift) until proven otherwise (if there's my spouse's signature on a "yeah you can use it only so long as you're in a relationship with me", then it's a loan), and shared assets would definitely need to be agreed upon beforehand.

Honestly I've seen messy divorces regarding "shared assets" where a vindictive spouse turned down an offer for a monetary settlement higher in value just to force the other spouse to split a property that had sentimental value ("No, I won't accept a settlement where I walk away with 75% cash value of all the marital assets but you keep your miniature train collection that you love but I don't care about, I want 50/50 of everything and half the trains go to me just to hurt you!" and yes, I've actually met a guy to whom this happened, whom even offered more money just to keep all his trains), this is why I'd say shared assets would need to specifically be assigned IMHO.

TL;DR, personally I think things would go that way: if you're the one using it 90+% of the times, and you're not the one who bought it, it's a gift and you keep it unless there's a written agreement that it's not a gift, and in divorces, unless otherwise specified, you only walk away with stuff you bought plus gifts offered to you minus gifts offered to the other person.

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I didn't say that raising kids is easy, it's a big responsibility and I've seen the challenges and I appreciate what every mother does. That's a whole different topic altogether which I'm not arguing about.

About her films, yes she didn't do films or TV since her pregnancy, but she's been endorsing and promoting several brands, capitalising on her Instagram following. She's been promoting designer clothes for pregnant women and all of that, endorsing Dior and several designers in almost every other post. Influencing is a career by itself, she's not acting in movies, but she's doing well in the influencing career. Her not working on movies could be her choice, several actresses have worked in movies post pregnancies, their careers didn't end, it's been their choice and a matter of opportunities.

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[–]saleemlala[S] 27 points28 points29 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Firstly, you assume that he forced her to have 2 children, wouldn't have been a joint decision? So her having children which may have affected her beauty in your own words is his fault alone or is it something that even has to be considered a factor to effect her beauty? You see, this is the problem, it's just so easy to blame a man, since you find nothing, you blame him for having 2 children with her and giving up her career.

Also, she didn't give up her career, she worked till 2021 and now is an influencer online endorsing and advertising several brands. In fact, she endorsed brands like dior even when she was pregnant and which made it all the more beneficial for her. I'm not saying it's easy to raise children, that's not even the argument here. But you know equality. She seems to be earning well for herself with an estimated net worth of well over $6 million. Why does she need half of his assets to take care of "their" kids or do you just want to assume that it's his child alone when she's using "their" kids to promote herself on social media?

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[–]saleemlala[S] 10 points11 points12 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

You're right, it isn't right for women of 60+ years to be left on the streets begging for food, but if the woman is independent, earning well for herself and has her own career, she shouldn't be able to take away half of his assets in the name of children. There can be regular payments from both the parents towards a fund for maintenance of children and for their future. But $35 mil to take care of children when you are reported to be well over $6 mil yourself seems unfair. He's worked hard and earned more for himself.

Maybe the pregnancy and the kids led to a break in her career for a while where she could have potentially earned more for herself, but I'm sure he's given his own time as well. Besides, it's about the opportunity cost, a fair payment for the time spent off work during pregnancy and raising children can be worked out considering her past income and inflation. Asking for half the assets altogether is just arbitrary and unjust.

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[–]No_Conflict9034 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Nothing of what you mentioned is worth 50% of his assets… ( plus you’re acting as if that’s the case in every marriage) The year of financial support is mainly to give her time to find a job…. She’s not owed compensation….

“ he agreed to the laws of the marriage “

I doubt that he is willing to let people steal from him but was rather forced to accept it if he wants to start a family and be married.. and The laws applied but they didn’t find anything to steal from him…. And now he’s taking money from her ( cause by your logic she also agreed to the laws, no?)…. Now he’s getting money from her.. plus wanting to get married doesn’t mean he’s ok with people stealing his money. Alimony is theft that men are forced to allow when wanting to start a family and get married.

“ if she wasn’t in the picture. He couldn’t have worked within the marriage “

If she wasn’t in the picture there would be no marriage to begin with… and yes he’d have all the time to work…

Alimony shouldn’t be a thing… simple.

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[–]No_Conflict9034 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

Even if nobody DIRECTLY coerced him into marriage. You can’t start a family legally without getting married…… it is important to note that the decision to get married is often influenced by societal expectations and norms, as well as pressure from family and friends. Men may feel that they are expected to get married in order to fulfill traditional gender roles or to meet societal expectations. In addition, many men may feel that marriage is the only way to have a committed relationship and a family. And some men value the symbolic value behind marriage. you should be able to get married without risking your assets and money. Alimony shouldn’t be a thing. Stealing his money is not ok…..

That’s what we’re arguing that alimony shouldn’t be a thing. Many men had their lives ruined by this and ended up homeless. Lost their things that they worked hard for.

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Yeah he's a total predator who forced her to be her brood sow after grooming her.. after all she was still a teenager at 19 when she married him (in his thirties!) Keep in mind that's married at 19, meaning the relationship was active a good while before that. That's pretty disgusting, I know we agree on that.

Wait.. oh, whoops! I got that backwards, it was him that was married at 19 to her in her 30's.. but surely we still agree that she's a predator as none of the other details have changed.. right? And surely you're not suggesting that this woman was mentally incapable of understanding what having children means.. After all she's a grown adult and is just as accountable for deciding to have sex with her ~~target~~ husband until she got pregnant and keep the child to term twice..

The shit some people will do or say to make a woman a victim and a man a monster (all while acting like those trying to hold people to the same equal standards regardless of gender are the dumb, hate driven idiots to be pitied by their betters) is just.. other worldly..

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And you don't see why that needs to change?

Think of it this way. Let's take a normal job not anything celebrity status. Let's say a doctor. The person studies for so long, goes through medical school does all the hardwork. Once they are accomplished they want to start a family (as is human nature). So they get married and have a kid. The wife doesn't contribute anything financially. Obviously he carries on working. She divorces him and half of his money he built up and worked hard for goes to her when she did nothing to earn it.

No one forces marriages but they are highly pressured to do so on both genders side and some may even have religious obligations as in no sex without marriage. Or common law marriages. Now your going to say just move but not everyone has the funds/freedom to move. And its ridiculous to earn money but just cause your married it half belongs to her. System needs to change. And I'm glad this guy was smart enough (I actually had his idea for a long time, good to see it works) to evade such an unfair and weird law.

[+]Lost_Number3829 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

I like playing to specific cases. Imagine my mother! She helped my father during the first years of his company. Then, she stopped helping him In the company because she had to do all the household chores and raising the children. She raised four children. He (my father) meets another woman, probably younger and who has no children. He wants a divorce. But oh no, my mother hasn’t “worked” for many years and now she is 55 years old. The youngest children are 12 and 14. So, according to you she should be left without nothing. Just a year of alimony if you are generous (leaving alone child support that undoubtedly must go to children). So she should be left practically On the streets. Without a home to live and without a home to have her children living with her. So basically a paria. And obviously the children should now live with the step mother and the father. The real mother doesn’t own a home and depending on her skills may be just surviving with odd jobs and renting a room God knows in which cheap part of the city so she cannot have the children with her. Now do you think this is fair?

[–]BeepBooBah 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[+]Lost_Number3829 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

Sorry but in my example the man could work thanks to the woman working at home. They were a team and if needed they could have changed roles (him working at home and she working at the company) the thing is some women like to be at home and fulfill a traditional Role supported by loving husbands. However now it is time to have children by ourselves and forget about men if they are becoming so mean that think that raising children is a free job. Well soon you will Only have children if you pay a surrogate mother a million and then you will have to pay thousands of dollars every month in child care. Only to have children who don’t have a mother . Well done, you now don’t have well adjusted children and you have spent lots and lots of money in childcare, surrogate mother and child mental health professionals ! Although giving the lack of affection suffered by these poor children (who you have denied the right of having a mother) you will simply be murdered by them While sleeping and counting your money left (scarce, since you have been paying house cleaner, nanny, child care Center etc) 😃👍🏻

[–]BeepBooBah 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

Your jumping to a lot of conclusions.

some women like to be at home and fulfill a traditional Role supported by loving

Thats great, good for them. Doesn't mean you should get half their wealth if you split.

that think that raising children is a free job.

Raising your own kids is your free job. You shouldn't be expected to be paid to be a parent. Unless its a different circumstances as in one wanted kids and the other didn't or children came from rape.

Although giving the lack of affection suffered by these poor children (who you have denied the right of having a mother)

In your specific case the father split the family up by being the one to initiate a divorce. However he never denied them the chance of a mother. She could still get joint custody.

If the woman wasn't at home the man can still work? How do you think single fathers/mothers handle it? Or single people. Men are very much capable of doing house chores. Your whole point is about children but the 50% split isn't going to the kids its going to the mother. Kids in your situation as you already pointed out would stillbe getting child support.

You still haven't answered my situation. And nor is this valid to Hakimi's case as his ex is a millionaire and earns.

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[–]BeepBooBah1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Yea, children are 50% genetically from the father but we could say that children are also 25% related to each grandparent but they (grandparents) don’t hold custody of children .

Except the parents are still genetically more related. And often if parents are out the picture grandparents look after them.

So nobody would agree to not work and dedicate his/her time to household chores and raising children.

So because you can't get half their money/everything if you divorce them your not going to get married? That just screams you were in it for the money/assets. You should leave the divorce with what you brought in and earned. If the woman was broke before marriage without the marriage she goes back to being broke. If she actually had money and planned on being a stay at home mum she puts whatever money she has saved up as a backup in case of divorce. If divorced they use the money till they find another job. No reason to 50/50 anything except children.

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Title	They wanted equality, they're getting equality!
Author	saleemlala
Upvotes	391
Comments	120
Date	April 17, 2023 12:55 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/12pezl0/they_wanted_equality_theyre_getting_equality/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/they-wanted-equality-theyre-getting-equality.1214692 https://theredarchive.com/post/1214692

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