Where to begin?

duhhhh · 2024-09-04T19:38:19+00:00

Just as there are issue that affect primarily women, there are most definitely issues that affect primarily men

The thing is, the overwhelming majority of them are just people issues that should be treated as people issues.

Nonconsensual sex is an issue for everyone. We see no reason to differentiate between nonconsensual penetration (rape) and nonconsensual envelopment (made to penetrate, forced to penetrate, unwanted contact, or not measured at all )- which occured at about the same rate in the 2010s.
Family violence is an issue for everyone. We see no need to provide or deny resources based on age, sex, sexuality, etc.
Workplace sexism is a problem for everyone. We see no need to focus on one sex and ignore the other.
Education discrimination impacted girls in the 50s, we improved things in the 60/70s and education was pretty gender neutral in the 80s/90s. Males are now facing more discrimination in education than females were in the 50s. Why can't we strive for gender neutral education again?
Women are losing abortion rights. This isn't a man vs woman thing. It is a rural religious Republicans valuing the fetus over the woman thing. Stop telling men that they have reproductive rights. We have NONE, and yet most of us support abortion rights. Why not work with us for universal rights not to be a parent including abortion which most women have and safe haven laws which almost every American woman has (anti-abortion Texas was the first!).

So many of mens issues and womens issues are really just human rights issues ... if you are capable of seeing both sides of the coin.

Eranon1 · 2024-09-04T21:26:15+00:00

I think the most difficult thing coming from a feminist perspective is to realize a lot of the issues seen as "womens" issues actually extend to men as well.

The other thing is because the pendulum has swung towards feminist rights over the years mens issues are just not recognized. An example is an ad that says 1 in 4 suicides are women or 1 in 5 homeless are women. Instead of highlighting that men are suffering the most they are highlight that women are experiencing it which seems to be more important in the social zeitgeist.

One example that I experienced was all the girls at school getting these cool opportunities to do STEM camps and field trips. I would have loved to go on those trips but as a male I was excluded.

iainmf · 2024-09-04T21:30:42+00:00

An important thing to think about is how society treats the problems that predominately affect women or men. It can be summarised as 'women have problems, men are problems'.

The solutions to women's issues are often formal, institutional changes, like laws and policies. The proposed solutions to men's problems are for men to make changes themselves. For example, many countries have a governmental body to address women's issues, but none for men.

I think the lack of formal responses to men's problems is evidence that society does not care about men as much as it cares about women. You might think we don't care about women enough, but at least there is some systems in place to address those women's issues.

In my country the suicide rate for Māori (native) New Zealanders is around 17 per 100,000. The male suicide rate is about the same. There is specific governmental funding for Māori but no specific funding for men.

The WEF gender gap report only reports on gaps that negatively affect women, when men are behind they count that as equality. In fact, they say that women should be living ~6% longer than men to be equal to men.

There's lots of things like this that show that men issues are not treated with the dignity and respect they deserve.

MypronounisDR · 2024-09-04T21:37:21+00:00

Great question

Men are majority of suicides, no one cares

Men get more time for same crime as women, no one cares

Men are more subject to abuse by divorce-court which bankrupts men to pay for women who were "dissatisfied with marriage", no one cares

Courts overwhelmingly give custody of children to women regardless of circumstances , no one cares

Men pay the majority of taxes and women take the majority of taxes, no one cares

Men are the majority of workplace deaths, no one cares

Men are subject to the draft, women are not, no one cares

When women claim to have been sexually assaulted by man, the police typically arrest the man regardless of proof. They just take her at his word even when she is lying, no one cares. Mans reputation is ruined for a lie alot of the time. Women recieve almost no punishment for lying about this and trying to send a man to prison.

Men get worse grades in school due to teachers bias for girls, look it up. No one cares.

School is gynocentric, they put 10 year old boys in chairs for 8 hours a day and then drug them with insane medication because they are "bored", no one cares

I can go on and on and on for hours but this should suffice. We as men have serious grievances with how we are treated in the west.

In the same way women have some serious grievances with how they are treated in the middle east.

Hope that helps. Your boyfriend has probably just awoken to how gynocentric the west is and its a very harsh reality.

themagicklizard · 2024-09-05T01:18:57+00:00

You’re about to experience some of it yourself when you realize how many subs banned you for considering mens rights lol I just got another

hottake_toothache · 2024-09-04T20:28:29+00:00

Thank you for being open minded. You will find that more and more men align with this viewpoint, though they tend to keep it secret because women emotionally punish them if they are honest. (Believe me, I speak from experience.)

If you are interested in learning, there are two directions to go.

(1) Books that scrutinize the feminist claim of male privilege. In short, if you look at the stats, men are far from privileged. This is difficult for women to recognize, because they tend to only think about the men at the top. Books in this category include: "Of Boys and Men," by Richard Reeves, "The Myth of Male Power" by Warren Farrell, and "The Empathy Gap" by William Collins.

(2) Where do male/female relations stand today? There is an overwhelming feminist narrative that says that men are the problem and women are the priority. Many men hate this, but they are silenced because they will pay a disproportionate price for expressing their opinions. So how should men and women relate to each other now that their interaction is no longer framed as symbiosis, but, instead, as competition? For this, I recommend Orion Taraban's recent book, "The Value of Others."

Good luck on your journey and thank you for being open minded.

anothermanwithaplan · 2024-09-04T22:13:55+00:00

Men want the same thing women want, respect, love and loyalty.

Also, I’m going to tell you the truth, neither of you are going to resolve anything for men or women by bringing issues into your relationship. Support the causes you want, but keep these things away from the relationship if you want it to succeed, that goes for both of you.

stax496 · 2024-09-04T20:43:45+00:00

A number of men's rights advocates focus on critiquing feminism for the harms they have done to men.

Some of the harms being the Duluth model's being admitted to be cherry picked results and false by its creator Ellen Pence.

Erin Pizzey receiving death threats for leaving feminism and being kicked out of the first women's shelter she founded in the UK for her discoveries in the field that women are just as capable of violence as men.

These are just two of numerous feminists and women who have disproven feminism's claims of helping others and highlighting the harms to men by their advocacy.

Given that the Duluth model and gender empathy gap (through movements like believe all women or women are wonderful tropes )are something promoted by mainstream feminists, it isn't radical feminism doing this but the majority and mainstream feminists.

If you want to gain a greater understanding of the topic I would recommend watching some of the works of Paul Elam or Karen Straughen on youtube.

ICMI24: William Collins - “Feminism, Cultural Collapse and the Rise of Authoritarianism in the West”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5rop9mfToo

Low_Rich_5436 · 2024-09-05T11:49:15+00:00

u/TheTinMenBlog has everything you need. Each of his posts is an accessoble inforgaphic about a men's right's issue. Scroll down to the older ones to get to the main general issues.

WanabeInflatable · 2024-09-05T03:04:33+00:00

Warren Farrell - myth of the male power.

And The red pill movie by Cassie Jaye.

Current_Finding_4066 · 2024-09-04T20:25:33+00:00

Why do you not ask him, and then losten?

PriorityAsleep2193 · 2024-09-04T20:29:45+00:00

There are numerous videos in which a woman becomes a man for a day/week/month.

A few Black pill videos by "Wheat" is probably the quickest way to understand dating dynamics without having to listen to unnecessary waffle.

Try a few of them?

TheAaronizer · 2024-09-05T03:43:25+00:00

Women often have unreasonable expectations (for example the 6,6,6). men experience police violence way more often than women do. men are also often unjustly convicted in court as 94 percent of all convictions are male. We dont hate all feminists, just the ones that rather than just supporting women feel the need to belittle men in the process. people dont stick up for us. We really appreciate people like you who genuinly want to understand both sides of the world rather than just believing blindly what theyre told to believe and live to their biases. when we feel powerless nobody comes to our aid. obviously not his problem but the reason a lot of women dont get approached isnt because theyre ugly, its because men are too afraid to ask. not neccesarily because we dont think we can get her but mostly because were afraid of being called creeps and weirdos.

Thanks for asking. like i said a lot of people dont and they assume mens rights activists hate women or they assume our points are invalid or they never do the research to understand us. you seem to be the kind of feminist that we like, one that truly looks to make people equal, not turn inequality one way into inequality the other. The fact that you took the time to ask means a lot and at least i appreciate that.

dependency_injector · 2024-09-05T05:44:22+00:00

At some point, I think it was 2012, I got a letter from the government. It said that I must surrender myself to slavery or they will put me in prison - just because I'm male.

To keep my freedom I had to spend a month in a mental hospital and bribe the conscription officer.

Since then the situation has changed a lot - now military slavery has become much more dangerous and amoral, since it includes committing war crimes in Ukraine and being rightfully shot by their army for that.

Fortunately, I left Russia in 2013.

Ok-Yogurtcloset7394 · 2024-09-05T16:50:16+00:00

really the thing is what kind of feminist you are. Are you a feminist who wants equality or one that wants female empowerment? When you are open to the idea of seeing systematic opression of men you and your date will get along perfectly fine.

Just a few points worth considering:

• Due to reproductivity women held much greater value than men back in older times. Thats why men we're systemically thaught to sacrifice themselves for women or why they are drafted and not women. anyone can aim and shoot a gun. So we are talking about men systemically being thaught to neglect their health.

• Men are twice as likely to be homeless.

• Men are 5 times as likely to comitt suicide leading back to the sterotypical view of men needing to be though and strong which prevents them from being open about their mental health.

• The Blacknumber for Men who expirenced any form of abuse is unimagineably high. You can imagine when men off themselves without opening up about their struggles (this makes up somewhere between 40-50% of all male suicide victims), men who are not suicidal but struggle with traumatic expirences are even less likely to open up about it.

• Not to forget the loneliness epidemic. This was first observed in Japan under the Term "hikikomori" describing young to middle aged men who shut themselves off from all of society, staying in their rooms for weeks only leaving to hamster more food. This is an alarmingly growing trend among men.

Those are just a few examples of systemic misandry and all lead back to societal structures. It is all systemically ingrained into the socialization of men and most of feminism is not willing to adress it. Thats why MRA exists.

Thank you for reading through this textwall and especially thank you for coming here with an open mind!

mejakola · 2024-09-07T01:35:38+00:00

Today's society has absolutely no value for a man to marry a woman. There is however lots of value for a woman to marry a man.

If she leaves, she gains alimony, child support, More than likely automatic custody, then quickly finds a new man, gains an additional income from him.

Woman gains everything, man loses everything.

BetSuspicious6989 · 2024-09-08T21:43:01+00:00

Uggggh I just realized the whole point of this thread. You’re looking for ways to get him to open up. So you thought educating yourself on it would help you get him to talk about it. You don’t give a shit about him or men this is for your personal gain. You want leverage in the relationship. Let me guess you really like him but can’t quite put your finger on it and are looking to lock him in.

tobuexe · 2024-09-05T11:21:35+00:00

Well for one- blackpill, redpill stuff is pretty horrible so definitely don't even get into that-

I think just like how men say there is a toxic feminist, there is a male equivalent in men's rights and those would be these big redpill podcaster bros.

But with that out of the way, I think for me it was more so the fact that- I've gone through so many things that certain feminists portray as exclusively female problems. And it felt neglectful of my issues being a man. And I'm sure some women feel the same with certain issues seen as exclusively male.

I guess I just wish my problems, that aren't so different from theirs would have the same attention. That's the part that hurts for most guys I think.

9chars · 2024-09-05T17:50:44+00:00

He shouldn't talk to you about it because you're probably a psycho.

Title	Where to begin?
Author	Call-me-hedone
Upvotes	24
Comments	52
Date	September 4, 2024 6:47 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1f917vq/where_to_begin/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/where-to-begin.1529404 https://theredarchive.com/post/1529404

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ICMI24: William Collins - “Feminism, Cultural Collapse and the Rise of Authoritarianism in the West”