Most people have the wrong strategy when it comes to approaching the SMP.

Most people use the Looking up/looking down strategy that is:

Looking up: they assess their own SMV and they assume that they deserve someone of higher value, the sky is the limit.

Looking down: when they come across someone with a high SMV who is still simple, they can't believe it since "they must have a lot of suitors...", the implication here is that the "a lot of suitors" would be people with lower SMV, which is the opposite of their own Looking up strategy.

Imagine someone with a very high SMV:

  • objectively attractive
  • great body thanks to gym work and smart eating
  • well educated
  • great career
  • confident
  • high social status
  • financially secure
  • polished, well-read, well traveled
  • and more, according to your preferences, feel free to pile up

Do you know what would be their #1 problem?

It's simple: to find someone who is roughly at their same SMV level.

If you were to fall in love with them, do you know what might make that dream possible?

it's simple: you would have to be or become at a similar SMV, to have a chance or two.

So, a sound and rational SMP strategy is to take a hard look at the mirror and assess our own SMV and then look around and limit our scope and search to people who have a similar SMV, no much more, nor much less.

I know I am wrong, I know.

Where I went wrong? The keyword of this strategy is "rational" and too often the SMP is anything but....

... but.. if one is unsuccessful . . . there are no secret, the marketplace is the best feedback mechanism, either increase your SMV or . . . you have unreasonable expectations. Stratification is the answer.