Is it true that average looking couples almost always have dead bedrooms?

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2023-12-28T21:12:33+00:00

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Doesthisevenmatter7 · 2023-12-28T20:43:05+00:00

EulenWatcher · 2023-12-28T20:44:40+00:00

Most people are close to average, so most couples consist of 2 average people. Let's look up sex frequency in marriage.

According to the 2018 General Social Survey's data on about 660 married people who shared details about how often they had sex in the past year:

- 25% had sex once a week

- 16% had sex two to three times per week

- 5% had sex four or more times per week

- 17% had sex once a month

- 19% had sex two to three times per month

- 10% hadn't had sex in the past year

- 7% had sex about once or twice in the past year

If we go with conservative definition of dead bedroom - frequency less than 10 times a year or less than once a month, it seems 17% of responders have a DB situation. One could argue that all these 17% are average couples, but it still wouldn't indicate that the majority of average couples have a DB.

Does it answer the question?

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-12-28T20:44:18+00:00

According to statistics, most married couples have sex at least once per week.

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/how-often-married-couples-have-sex#:~:text=Average%20number%20of%20times%20per%20week%20married%20couples%20make%20love&text=25%25%20had%20sex%20once%20a,had%20sex%20once%20a%20month

headbandjoseph · 2023-12-28T20:45:46+00:00

Not relative to other relationships.

It's very normal for people's standards to change when they mature and especially when/if they focus their choices on building a family. Yeah, you might engage in less crazy sex since you're trying to find and impress the mother/father of your children, but that's not a bad thing, if your goal is a strong family.

Clementinequeen95 · 2023-12-28T20:47:24+00:00

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2023-12-28T20:48:02+00:00

No, and average appearance isn't the reason. Appearance isn't the reason at all unless one or both partners change significantly after commitment.

Partners who settle may lose attraction.

Partners who misrepresent their libido and their desire for sex struggle for common ground.

And partners who refuse to do their share of household and family responsibilities cause resentful partners who are too stressed and frustrated to relax and enjoy sex.

I get where the assumption comes from: unrealistic expectations, but women are attracted to the person and his behavior as well as his appearance. Who a man is matters, and even if she fantasizes about an actor or musician, a vanishingly small number of women would actually have the cohones to date a famous man. I can't speak for men who train their bodies to respond to impossible women in porn; no idea how they manage sex with an average woman after a decade or two of exposure to increasingly deranged pornography, but I suspect pornography has a net negative effect on most monogamous relationships.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-12-28T20:49:01+00:00

so do good looking couples, time and familiarity reduced desire

TWCDev · 2023-12-28T20:53:03+00:00

I'm a 45 year old guy 5'9" with a dadbod, we have sex 4-5 times a week (thruple), we're probably all average looking folks, though the girls can be pretty hot when they doll themselves up. The sex bench, shibari rope, sex swing, manacles, etc, are all indicative of a pretty "active" bedroom. In my experience, which is fairly extensive, the "hot" skinny girls are typically boring and quick to point out all the things they won't do. The "hot" athletic girls are often more adventurous, more adrenalin focused, much more interested in active sessions, might not be interested in some weird stuff (no rhyme or reason, but maybe they don't read as much literotica), and the average girls are a flip of a coin, honestly like most people, but they're more likely to read material that might give them ideas they want to experience in real life.
I'd say whether a girl "reads" or not (specifically literotica) is the biggest determinator in whether the person is adventurous in the bedroom with a higher libedo. The more they masturbate, the more they use toys, etc, the more they want sex in general.

AceOfSpadesGymBro3 · 2023-12-28T21:10:37+00:00

It has nothing to do with looks. Both men and women get tired of the same partner and seek variety.

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DarayRaven · 2023-12-28T20:50:45+00:00

Idk ask them

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2023-12-28T20:53:32+00:00

Well there's no way of knowing whether or not this is true, so if anyone claims it, they are just making it up because it fits their ideology.

Most couples don't have a DB though.

Literal_Jesus_ · 2023-12-28T20:55:39+00:00

nopillsgirlie

I’ve been in dead bedroom relationships and now I’m in one where the sex is still bopping 3 years later.

This is super anecdotal but might be relevant. In my previous situation the sex was fine but Straight up I wasn’t getting where I needed to go (if you catch my drift). Whenever I tried to communicate this he’d get super defensive/upset so I kinda just gave up. Around the 1 year mark he stopped FP altogether and it was pretty much a just penetration game again tried to communicate it and he wouldn’t have it and now the sex was just straight up sad.

Current relationship compatible from the jump everything is great 10/10. Bedrooms die bc of lack of communication an inability to vulnerable and lack of effort. This affects people of all shapes and sizes.

harmonica2 · 2023-12-28T21:04:03+00:00

So based on the responses it seems not true that a dead bedroom is almost always guaranteed if the couple is average looking, but then why do average guys keep talking about how they cannot lock down average looking women for commitment then? What is the reason, if the dead bedroom as a result of the guy being average looking is not the reason?

Title	Is it true that average looking couples almost always have dead bedrooms?
Author	harmonica2
Upvotes	1
Comments	20
Date	December 28, 2023 8:39 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/18t3wbr/is_it_true_that_average_looking_couples_almost/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-it-true-that-average-looking-couples-almost.1241750 https://theredarchive.com/post/1241750

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