This makes a really good point

alreadyredschool · 2016-05-19T19:15:34+00:00

I really hate hen pecking, too many guys endure it and too many women do it. Some study showed that the men's blood pressure goes up like in a war zone. It should be treated like a man hitting his women, verbal domestic violence should not be accepted. Friends don't let friends be beta.

future_space_boobs · 2016-05-19T19:12:30+00:00

I grew up with a mother like this-- and it wasn't just my dad who was on the receiving end-- so I've grown up insanely aware of how I behave in my own relationships. If anything I can be diplomatic and helpful to the point of getting taken advantage of, but 18 years of being screamed at and berated over minutiae (ever gotten the silent treatment for a week for hanging a towel in the wrong place? Ever had silverware thrown at you because you washed it wrong? Try dealing with that as an 8-year-old) will do that to a person. Several of my siblings have been in therapy dealing with perfectionist and self-loathing tendencies because of it... I've been able to process and work through it on my own, but I worry about them. "Unintentional" emotional abuse is very real.

And shout-out to /r/raisedbynarcissists if anyone else is dealing with similar shit.

PhantomDream09 · 2016-05-19T19:40:34+00:00

This post is exactly why we tell women on RPWives to consider their words and attitudes carefully. I sometimes challenge users to try a week long experiment where they only say positive or supportive things when talking to their SO/H. The idea being that it helps them gain some awareness about how they state things, and possibly realize how they can be unnecessarily critical. There's another post and common piece of advice that simply says "STFU." A lot of people mistake that to mean "never have a thought of your own" or "always agree, no matter what." Both are incorrect exaggerations.

People are creatures of habits. If you establish productive, healthy, fulfilling habits - then you are reinforcing good tendencies in your life. It can be hard to change certain bad habits, and in some cases, people don't even realize they have a particular bad habit. Being critical/condescending/assuming your way is the best way are common issues that many users have to come to terms with. Sometimes it's a slow process, sometimes it's a fast one.

I love the description of 'light bulb' that the article uses by the way. Realizing the existence of something you were previously (for all intents and purposes) entirely 'blind' to.

Overall this is a great article and a good resource overall.

exit_sandman · 2016-05-19T19:38:24+00:00

Controlling women like that simply want to be put in their place. It's just another kind of shit test. She wants her husband to tell her fuck off and show her who the boss is.

VermiciousKnidzz · 2016-05-19T21:55:52+00:00

it's a mistake to think that sort of abuse is specific to gender. if the genders were switched y'all RP and RPW would probably be talking about how its her fault for messing up.

red pillers, do any of you consider this psychological abuse?

LeaneGenova · 2016-05-19T20:15:36+00:00

Hi OP, could you include a summary of the link for our users? We require sufficient text to explain the link for those who are unable to view the link. Thanks!

duckyhunter · 2016-05-19T20:22:49+00:00

Women actually get a high off of power struggles. It's why they become nagging shrews en masse once they marry while men spend their marriages walking on eggshells.

The woman who wrote this wanted her husband to fight with her. She wanted the days-long rush that goes with it. Men hate it because they don't get the same high. They let it go as soon as fight-or-flight subsides.

This is also why men tend to forgive their friends and move on from fights more easily than women.

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Entropy-7 · 2016-05-19T23:37:32+00:00

There was a discussion about nagging with reference to The Submitted Woman book. This is sort of an extension of the points I was making there about being picky and micromanaging.

In the first example in that article my initial thought was "Look bitch, if you didn't want "hamburger" meat then don't ask for hamburger meat; if you want "lean ground beef" or "extra lean ground beef" then say so."

Then again, I've spent years living on my own, doing my own shopping as well as my own cooking such that I know there is a specific difference in the way grocery stores label their ground beef. If they call it "hamburger", it is the lowest quality and highest fat content.

And of course, I would be more tactful in explaining this failure of communication if it ever happened at all (because I would buy the lean ground beef anyways despite the higher cost).

Title	This makes a really good point
Author	weirdlywalking
Upvotes	5
Comments	48
Date	May 19, 2016 7:03 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/4k43j2/this_makes_a_really_good_point/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/this-makes-a-really-good-point.274608 https://theredarchive.com/post/274608

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