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TRP and Old Age

trupoo · 2014-04-30T16:49:10+00:00

Let's consider what they advocate: No wife. No children. Use people like car parts (or plates) and exchange them regularly. So I really doubt 20...

trupoo

April 30, 2014

4 upvotes

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Post Information

Title	TRP and Old Age
Author	trupoo
Upvotes	4
Comments	49
Date	April 30, 2014 4:49 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/24don8/trp_and_old_age/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/trp-and-old-age.285801 https://theredarchive.com/post/285801

Comments

[–][deleted] 8 points8 points8 points 12 years ago | Copy Link

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SirNemesistitties not tithe14 points15 points16 points 12 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 9 points9 points9 points 12 years ago | Copy Link

[–]Wolfwoodd3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]DocileBanalBovine 5 points6 points7 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 3 points3 points3 points 12 years ago | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points2 points 12 years ago | Copy Link

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points 12 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Human_v21 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

The 'sexual strategy is amoral' statement means focusing on the facts of what women respond to.

"Dark triad characteristics in men are correlated with success in short term mating strategy." This is amoral, this is a fact, women respond well in the short term to men who display dark triad characteristics.

I agree you cannot say that a person displaying dark triad characteristics deserves freedom from judgement based on morality but discussing what is and what isn't successful does. It may be morally 'wrong' to do something but it isn't wrong to discuss it.

An analogy: if you were discussing whether a murderer was more likely to avoid incarceration for his murder if he used a gun or a knife to commit the crime, this is amoral. Murdering someone, be it by gun or knife obviously has a moral consequence.

Whether or not TRP adheres to this isn't what I'm trying to dicuss, just the premise behind the statement.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]rulenumber3032 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

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[–]trudatness 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]rulenumber3030 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]trupoo[S] 9 points10 points11 points 12 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

[–]CFRProflcopter( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 12 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

Well that's a depressing outlook. My father is slowly succumbing to stomach and bone cancer/old age. Instead of throwing him into a home or hospice care; myself, my mother, my siblings, my cousins, my aunts, and my uncles (and even a few neighbors) are all devoting a significant amount of time looking after him and keeping him company. When my dad passes (at home in bed, per his wishes), he won't be alone. Not just because the house is constantly buzzing with people checking up on him, keeping him company, etc., but also because my dad is a good man who cultivated a happy family/community that want his last moments to be full of love, peace, and good memories.

To tie into the OP, it makes me sad that TRP advocates for a lifestyle/outlook that would leave them bereft of the type of familial support/love my dad is currently experiencing.

Were all gonna get old and die, its just a shame that some people are actively choosing a path that will probably lead to the loneliest death.

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points-2 points 12 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

It's awesome you and your family are so nice, but the same is not true of everyone.

I think of it like this. In all likelihood, by the time I die, my parents will be dead, as will a lot of the family I know and love right now. If I'm starting a family I have no guarantee they will give a shit about me once they get old enough to leave home. If I marry I have no guarantee she won't divorce me before I die.

Now how you approach this depends on your personal outlook on life. You might be a person who thinks raising a family and getting married will make you happy regardless so you're happy to take that risk.

But for me personally, and for many others I'm sure, I don't find that idea appealing in the slightest. I would hate to be stuck in that get married > have kids > buy house you can't afford > spend the rest of your life getting rid of the mortgage lifestyle everyone is so eager to throw themselves into. So for me the risk is not worth it. Because I am not just risking being left alone when I'm old and dying, I'd also be spending at least 18 years of my life paying for and parenting kids, then the rest of my life after that paying a mortgage, hoping my marriage doesn't fall apart, and trying to hold all that shit together while under the pressure of whatever job I'm doing.

My thoughts on all this? Fuck that. I'd rather just have good friends around me, the ability to spend the money I make on myself and to choose when I want to spend it on others, and I'd like to have a few sexual partners along the way and maybe a few of those will become girlfriends too. But I'm not getting married, I'm not having kids, and I'm not drowning in the stress of the whole mainstream lifestyle. Because I can tell you right now, the people I know who are all stressed the fuck out with kids and marriages are a lot less happy than the people I know who do things more casually and laid back.

And ultimately that's all I want from my life, to be happy while I'm alive. I don't give a shit what happens when I die. If I die after leading a happy life I win even if I die alone in my room. That's my philosophy anyway.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

If I marry I have no guarantee she won't divorce me before I die.

Don't marry selfish people. That usually means, don't be selfish yourself, as selfish people tend to attract selfish people.

For example never marry anyone who would accept, let alone demand an expensive ring. Because that kind of money is better saved up for the kids or something.

Then again, don't marry too early, that is partially why people divorce, they marry before they are content with giving up their freedom and get to regret it. Don't marry before 30.

After 30 you will realize that it does not work like that anyway. Basically the kind of things you spend money on and spend your time with will just stop giving you any pleasure. You will be fed up with the playtime. You don't ever want to go to a club or a party, you will feel it is silly. Videogames will bore you. You realize that your life is just work and resting it out, nothing else. You realize that nothing really important or fun happened to you for the whole year. That is when it is time to settle down and be husband and dad.

I guessed the stressed out parents you mean must be 24 because at 34 people generally do realize that being a stressed out parent is better than being a bored, depressed person who can't think of anymore what to do with his life.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Don't marry selfish people. That usually means, don't be selfish yourself, as selfish people tend to attract selfish people.

Every single human being is selfish by their very nature. We are wired to do what we think is best to sustain ourselves after all.

For example never marry anyone who would accept, let alone demand an expensive ring. Because that kind of money is better saved up for the kids or something.

I understand not marrying a woman who demands an expensive ring, but why not one who accepts one? If I did make the choice to buy an expensive ring I think her saying, "no take it back and get me cheaper one" would... well, ruin the moment to say the least. I wouldn't want to marry someone who didn't even trust my judgement with regards to how I spend my own money.

And even if I do get married - I am never having kids. No fucking way.

Then again, don't marry too early, that is partially why people divorce, they marry before they are content with giving up their freedom and get to regret it. Don't marry before 30.

This is wise, yes, I agree with this.

You don't ever want to go to a club or a party, you will feel it is silly. Videogames will bore you. You realize that your life is just work and resting it out, nothing else. You realize that nothing really important or fun happened to you for the whole year. That is when it is time to settle down and be husband and dad.

First of all I don't go to parties and play games in the first place, but still, I get what you're trying to argue and I disagree with it.

Yes, my hobbies and interests will change over time, of course they will. But they will be replaced by new hobbies and interests to spend my free time and money on.

What you're saying here is "eventually you will get bored so you'll have kids because you have nothing better to do." That is just really fucking depressing man. That is what I call a bleak view on life.

I guessed the stressed out parents you mean must be 24 because at 34 people generally do realize that being a stressed out parent is better than being a bored, depressed person who can't think of anymore what to do with his life.

No no, not at all. I'm talking about "proper adults" here, 30+. And they are the depressed ones! Because stress causes depression and kids cause stress!

On the other hand, the other people I know - again, 30+ - who have more casual open relationships and don't have kids to look after are far happier. As far as the kids bit goes, this has actually been shown to be true in studies. If you have kids who are living with you, you will be less happy than you would be if you didn't have kids. When your kids move out, you suddenly get a lot happier because guess what? You no longer have kids to look after! Get that, right?

So I ask you - what is the point of going through all that stress? The best reason you've given for having kids is "you'll get bored when you get older." Can you not give me anything better?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link

Every single human being is selfish by their very nature.

In the sense of looking for whatever causes us joy, yes. But the whole point of being unselfish is that making your loved ones happy causes many people the most joy.

We are wired to do what we think is best to sustain ourselves after all.

Because kin selection and reciprocal altruism, or hell, the whole idea of being driven to reproduction aren't biotruthy enough.

I wouldn't want to marry someone who didn't even trust my judgement with regards to how I spend my own money.

One major point of being married is not having your own money. You two have incomes and it is to be used for the long-term interests of the family, mostly the kids. One way both partners can show each other they grew up and suitable for the role of parents is not spending it unwisely.

Because stress causes depression and kids cause stress!

I would say a feeling of pointlessness, aimlessness causes depression. Stress taken if you know why not so much.

Without a family everything in my life would be pointless.

I often thought even pain would be better than just a feeling of nothingness. Well, kids aren't even pain, they are a stressful joy.

That is what I call a bleak view on life.

Work for 10-15 years, realize it sucked out your soul and your capacity to find fun in many things you did before, and you will have a bleak view. This is really growing up. Work breaks us.

who have more casual open relationships

And now you are slowly getting it. IF you are the type who CAN have casual relationships at and feel fun in it, then OK. But if you are the type who feels everything is pointless about them then not.

My point is that most people I know either have families at 30 or no fun at all, no open casual relationships, because, for starters, how do they even get it, go to the dance clubs full of teens and look like a fool? But even if you could get it most often feels pointless.

If you at 30 or 35 you relize that by know you are too old, fat and tired for it, and wish you had married the last woman and made some kids?

And later? If at 45 it feels pointless or your sexual attractiveness is zero because you no longer can be arsed to not drink 5 beers a day or go to they gym after a day of work, or if you can still attract women, but you feel it is now really getting pointless and wish you would have had a family back when you could still get it up and / or could go through a sex act without running out breath in order to make a woman pregnant? What then?

I know there are these weird people like in TV series who are all like 20 when they are like 35, thin, sexy, fun-having, perfect healthy, mental healthy, enjoying life - but really it is not the norm.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

In the sense of looking for whatever causes us joy, yes. But the whole point of being unselfish is that making your loved ones happy causes many people the most joy.

And yet if I do something unselfish like by my fiance an expensive ring, she's bad if she accepts it?

Because kin selection and reciprocal altruism, or hell, the whole idea of being driven to reproduction aren't biotruthy enough.

lol dae biotrths?

At least have actual arguments instead of throwing buzzwords about.

One major point of being married is not having your own money. You two have incomes and it is to be used for the long-term interests of the family, mostly the kids. One way both partners can show each other they grew up and suitable for the role of parents is not spending it unwisely.

So there is no point in committing to your partner unless you have kids? Seriously? Kind of devalues the marriage a bit if you only see it as a tool to facilitate making crotchspawn don't you think?

Also fuck "not having your own money." No, if I am working hard at a job every day I want to earn my own fucking money. No "our money" or "the kids money" but my money. I quite literally earned it.

I would say a feeling of pointlessness, aimlessness causes depression.

But why are you assuming that you either have to have a completely pointless life or have kids, with no middleground? You can be a well adjusted adult with hobbies rather than wasting your life on all that crap and be perfectly happy.

Work breaks us.

I don't doubt it, for most people at least. But again having kids won't magically fix that. It just adds more stress.

how do they even get it, go to the dance clubs full of teens and look like a fool?

Erm, swingers clubs? There's a reason those things exist you know. Although most of the people I know in this category are people I met in the BDSM scene. Another good place to meet people like this - if you're into kinky stuff anyway.

If you at 30 or 35 you relize that by know you are too old, fat and tired for it, and wish you had married the last woman and made some kids?

This - and the general tone of your posts - just tells me you're projecting your own faults on everyone else. There plenty of people who live happy fulfilling lives without kids. See /r/childfree for many examples, and yes you can do that while being in a monogamous committed relationship too, funnily enough.

If you feel depressed without kids and a family, and you have one now, good on you. You're happy. But just because, by your own admission, you feel empty and can't have fun unless you have kids, doesn't mean no one else is capable of simply having fun living their own lives.

Anyway, now my bed is breathing and my laptop screen is wobbling so I'mma chill a bit. It's nice not having to worry about kids so you can trip balls whenever the fuck you like.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

No, if I am working hard at a job every day I want to earn my own fucking money. No "our money" or "the kids money" but my money. I quite literally earned it.

Ugh. I stop arguing. You really should never get married because you would make a horrible spouse. If you don't understand that the whole point is merging your ego into a higher unit when "me" becomes "we" - just really don't do it. You would probably see marriage as buying something in return of something and get all mad and TRP-y when you feel you are not getting a good enough deal and so on.

Actually, thanks, I will use this "my money" thing as a test before I argue with people about marriage, really for this type of person there is no point, this wouldn't even be real marriage, just Hollywood marriage.

I mean if you seriously think hobbies are meaningful instead of just a way to refill your batteries between doing actually meaningful stuff...

What little I know about BDSM and swinger communities is that they are weird. I was raised fairly old-fashioned, so I personally keep a distance from pervy stuff, but what little I know about them does not look too good. Yes, they are typically older people, but they look like they focused so much on hedonism in life that they are partially burned out. They are addicted to bodily pleasure, they are typically selfish and have nothing to live for but pleasure, but when pursue pleasure too much then it takes a strong and stronger input to get the same amount of reaction (just like with drugs, same dopamine reward system) so they must try all kinds of "kinky" stuff or many new partners just to feel some pleasure. The whole thing looks rather miserable to me. People just trying hard to get some excitement out of worn out nerve endings...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted]1 point 12 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Why not? When I was growing up my mum made all the money and my dad did a little work on the side but mostly looked after us kids. It was always very clear my mum had all the money and she ran the finances because she's the one who earned it all in the first place. Of course she would give some to my dad if he needed it, but he'd ask for it and explain why he needed it because he was essentially asking my mum for her money.

I'd be the same. If I ever did get married (hypothetically) and my wife needed money off me I'd ask her why and assess it on a case by case basis.

In regards to the edits in your previous post about swinging and BDSM, do you really not understand that some people just derive pleasure from different things than you? Just because you have kids that doesn't magically make your life more "meaningful" nor does it mean you don't seek pleasure. We live to seek pleasure. Your pleasure is just in different things to mine. It's not like you're making world piece or something, get off your high horse. All you're doing is making yourself happy in a different way to me.

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