Why are polygamy, polyamory, open relations, a bad thing?

roe_ · 2014-05-08T17:55:24+00:00

Where are the polygynous modern societies?

Mostly sub-Saharan Africa, the middle-east, and certain cloisters of Mormons.

In other words, places that mostly suck.

cuittler · 2014-05-08T15:30:01+00:00

Average men will lose out compared to exceptional men, who will disproportionately benefit as humans still very much have polygynous tendencies. "Polygamy" for humans, heck, in mammals, almost always means polygyny; 75% of societies accept polygyny. Also many men in TRP are low or mediocre in status or see themselves as such.

throwred01 · 2014-05-08T18:04:15+00:00

I've got a lot of experience with polyamory too. It's a big part of why I took the red pill.

For those of you who don't know, polyamory is a massive rallying point for sex positive third wave feminists. A relationship style that by it's very nature creates equality... somehow. (Don't ask us how!) So if you don't accept polyamory we just can't let you in the cool kids club.

When I was interested in sex positive culture, I was really more interested in doing my own thing. I couldn't believe how hard polyamory was being pushed. It blew my mind to watch people say they wanted freedom and equality, then turn around and dump on anyone who decided polyamory wasn't for them.

EVERY polyamorus relationship I've ever witnessed has been fundamentally dysfunctional, and I've witnessed quite a few. Either it was one woman callously ignoring the feelings of those she used, or it was one very high SMV man with a harem of women all quietly hating each other.

And that includes the polyamorous relationship I participated in. She was part of his harem, and she still got to use me for everything I could give her. And I know the excuses. But this was a "smart," "strong," "wildly-independent" feminist woman. Amazing part too, was watching him dump her when she turned 30. Watching her mourn and mourn this man who she now knew couldn't have cared less about her. Watching how comparatively little she cared when I broke up with her.

As all this was going on, I found the red pill. There was a story on there that wasn't like my story, it was my story. Someone else watching the exact same thing happen to a friend.

I took the red pill right after that. And I explained everything to her, how she'd been gamed, why she'd accepted it, why she wasn't capable of loving me as I loved her, in red pill terms. She confirmed that it was all correct, but then without even flinching said that my ideas about women were wrong and made her feel "sick and sad." She directly contradicted herself so quickly and it was like she didn't even realize she had done it.

After you see something like that, there's no going back, really.

Yeah. This got a little personal. Sorry about that.

TL;DR: Polyamory is why I'm red pill.

RlyORly · 2014-05-08T19:03:33+00:00

Hm, I thought about it, also I've read "The Ethical Slut". I wouldn't mind my partners being promiscuous while I would be like this myself. But I doubt (as a male) I'd have easier time finding women then women finding men. And all the jealousy, neglect... I guess it can be fun, but I wouldn't think it's healthy for the long run. One guy from TRP posted his (mainly negative and confirming TRP stereotypes) experiences. Could you post yours ?

[deleted] · 2014-05-09T04:43:31+00:00

Polygamy is bad because the gender ratio evens out to 1:1, and any society that allows men to take multiple wives will end up with a surplus of young unmarried men. Polygamy is also correlated with poverty, as more children=fewer resources. Open relationships are a different matter, but jealousy and possessiveness are fairly common emotions and can not be eliminated.

trudatness · 2014-05-08T16:30:32+00:00

Let me put it to you in simple terms.

You're not married, so what really do you have to lose if a polyamorous relationship goes south? Not a whole lot.

The common, albeit somewhat anecdotal, experience is that when you "open" a relationship you create opportunity for your SO to test drive other cock, which often leads to her swinging to other branches.

Take a look at the OKCupid stats. This completely backs up the theory that it is easier for women to get sex than it is for men to get sex. So anyone with a "hot" wife/GF will have disproportionately less sexual opportunity then his SO is getting. The end result being wifey getting banged out by a bunch of other dudes and you sitting around most of the time with your dick in your hand severely cuckolded.

Now I guess there are exceptional cases when dude gets tons of pussy with wifey's OK, but that seems to be the exception and not the rule. It's a bait and switch that ends up with wifey getting her fill of alpha fucks while you get stuck being beta bucks occasionally getting sloppy seconds from your own wife. She gets best of both worlds - sex with any dude she wants AND your money. You get abused and depressed.

You'd have to be Mr. top 5% ripped abs guy running things to get wifey to let you have your cake and eat it too. In that case, then it's you being the emotional abuser. Either way it's bad juju.

trabant00 · 2014-05-10T01:40:45+00:00

How would polygamy be practiced on any sort of scale if there is no shortage of either men or women? A population reduction mechanism such as war, disease, or predation is always present in polygynous/polyandrous societies to skew the gender ratio. The only way that polygamy could feasibly happen in modern society is some sort of commune scenario. Monogamy is an adaptation to the lower mortality rates brought on by medicine and technology and it would be foolish to adopt the sexual strategies of a different epoch. On mobile now so I can't post a link, but for more info on how polygamous societies are maintained, look up the Mormon lost boys.

jonathan88876 · 2014-05-15T07:09:05+00:00

I'm purple but red as blood on this topic. Polygamy and polyamory are based off of a fundamental imbalance of power (one partner will always have higher SMV than the other). Ultimately the lower SMV will grow to resent the higher SMV one and the relationship goes to shit. I've never in my life seen a poly relationship occur over a sustained period of time.

trudatness · 2014-05-08T23:09:49+00:00

I thought TRP was amoral. I also thought this exactly what they want, "plates".

Same. Polyamory means you can multiple girlfriends at the time without being dishonest after all, I thought that'd be a red piller's wet fucking dream. Regardless it's something I've experimented with before and sure wouldn't mind doing again. If feminism pushes for this stuff to become more normal then call me a feminist. I ain't got shit to complain about here.

g4merguy · 2014-05-09T10:36:21+00:00

ugh I found out one of my coworkers is in an open relationship and I lost all respect for him. Any man in an open relationship who is not really good looking is getting the raw end of the deal and is basically a cuckhold

keep in mind this guy is below average looking so you know his wife is getting fucked non stop and I doubt he gets any. Makes men look really pathetic im trying to get him fired

Title	Why are polygamy, polyamory, open relations, a bad thing?
Author	trabant00
Upvotes	7
Comments	99
Date	May 8, 2014 3:14 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/251omv/why_are_polygamy_polyamory_open_relations_a_bad/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-are-polygamy-polyamory-open-relations-a-bad.285757 https://theredarchive.com/post/285757

Comments