((As I was replying to u/Lightandlush , I ended up going off on a little musing, and I want to share it here, just to see if it resonates with anyone else too))

The modern pressures of women needing to be everything and do everything is exhausting!

Raise the kids, have a well-paid career, be a happy wife, look beautiful but dont make too much effort because he should love you just as you are but you should still have make-up artist style skills and an ass like the Kardashians but dieting is betraying other women. You should not need a man at all, but need him enough to keep him or just have several FWB because you have needs too, and you get yours!. Be tolerant of your man's failings but also mock them with your girlfriends and call him a man-child. Have strong friendships but not as strong as with your husband though he wont ever understand you like they do babes. Have a social life that isn't just the kids but also is the kids and a million cool after-school activities that you can't afford. Be rich but also don't own anything fancy because that's showing off, or be poor but dont feel like you want more because that's just being envious. Cook well but fit it around a 40 hour a week job and having grown up in a house where your mum worked and you never had it modelled for you. Breastfeed but dont let your kids become clingy but also dont show your boobs at all when you do, they're attracting men which is good and also bad and your body is totally your own to do what you want with, unless it's not slaving for an employer for shitty wages. Use daycare but dont let it affect the time you should be spending with them. Maintain your childlike joy but also be a strong independent woman. Support your husband when he's low but he should just manage it alone because you won't do his emotional labour, but make sure he does yours. Run a tight ship in your home, but also dont take on the mental load! Argh!

Why must we be equal-and-the-same, rather than equal-but-different?

I dont want to be a man. I have never, ever wanted to. I want to be at peace in myself. That means me doing the things I naturally get happiness from, being free to homemake and love the simple things, nurture and create and dance and sing and learn and laugh.

I want to feel and welcome the emotional tides ebb and flow. I don't want to be firm and stoic all the time. I want to squeal with excitement when I see a cute cat that wants to be fussed, or cry at the sheer awe of being on a plane and seeing the clouds like a bird does. I want to be moved by movies, and books, and the stories of people around me. I want delight at the kiss of my child, to bathe my face in the moonlight, to walk barefoot on grass or sand and feel that connection with mother earth.

I want to be cherished. I want to bring a smile to the face of my child. I want to bring out the protection and adoration of my husband when he sees me light up at telling him a funny story of my day, or when I laugh at myself. I want to feel his strength and peace when I feel small as can be within his arms. I want to be treasured, to inspire wonder.

I don't want to be both the rock and the ocean. No-one can manage to be both all the time. Something will have to give eventually, the stone will get worn down by the waves, or the water will get trapped in a rock pool. Eventually, neither will be at its best.

I don't want that. I want the freedom to live in the femininity my soul has. But the modern world says no, your soul is wrong, you've been conditioned, you've internalised misogyny and hatred of women! But how can I have when I love the facets and flow of being a woman?

I'm not telling any other woman how she should act, or any man how he should counterpart that. I'm not telling anyone their soul is wrong or their relationship is wrong. I'm not telling women they must submit to a man. People are free to follow their hearts and souls. I simply ask that I am still allowed to follow mine, in a world that says I must have it all, whether I want it all or not.