Lonely | New mom

somedayimight · 2020-02-05T01:03:30+00:00

I doubt it's you. I've been surprised at the way old friendships have kind of died with friends I've had for decades due to differences in lifestyle and worries, etc. I'm not sure the main cause, really. I sometimes think it's because I stay home with the kids and they work but who knows?

Are there other places you can meet moms that are more like you? It took me a long time to find mom friends but they are invaluable. You may not be able to commiserate about having a crappy partner (which, unfortunately is a way women bond), but you could still commiserate about how challenging babies can be?

Or maybe you could meet people doing something totally unrelated to motherhood?

Things got better for me once my oldest started preschool. I met other SAHMs in a similar positions to myself and now our kids play while we chat and it's seriously improved my life so much.

Best of luck!

timeforstretchpants · 2020-02-05T05:23:21+00:00

I've got a four month old, and while my old friends haven't deserted me I still wanted to expand my circle. Maybe meeting new people will give you a fresh start socially. Here's where I've met new people -

baby storytime at the library
new mom groups (there are a few churches in my area that have these, and my city has a nonprofit running groups for first time parents)
peanut app "tinder for mom friends"
local mom Facebook groups host meetups
flagging down women with strollers when I'm out on walks

2020-02-05T05:02:16+00:00

Go to every library story time in the area. I used to drive up to thirty minutes for one of them. It will help.

Theendisnearornot · 2020-02-05T00:55:26+00:00

Check to see if there is a MOPs group near you. They are a Christian group, but usually fairly inclusive. I found having friends with having an infant was really tough. They’re on their schedules, you are on yours... we did a lot of library groups and things like that to stay connected.

AStableNomad · 2020-02-05T02:43:01+00:00

never feel bad or even think about people who actually condemn people who for one reason or another have a good life (notice I'm saying good not perfect, everyone have their own issues), it's a dangerous way of thinking sure because you can develop an ego and superiority complex but the fact is most people seem to be a** holes (like the saying goes misery likes company) you seem like a smart person so you can judge for yourself are you just being yourself with them or are you bragging and rubbing it in, but don't actually start pretending that your life is bad just to have friends because you will start to resent your life and family.

as for where to make mom-friends I can't help you there except to say I guess it is like making normal friends you just have to sift through the garbage

ExceptionalSea · 2020-02-05T05:43:22+00:00

Look up Fit4Mom or Stroller Strides to see if there’s a group near you! It’s a mom’s work out group that you bring your baby/kids to. It’s a great place to meet other moms and most of them are SAHMs too. I actually made a great mom friend through Facebook and she is so outgoing she’s subsequently introduced me to a bunch of other mom friends that I’m now friends with, some of them that she met at Stroller Strides! I’ve gone a few times and it’s fun but I haven’t been consistent enough to make my own friends there.

Is there a parenting group near you? In my area you can join parenting groups (called PEPs near me) that are based around baby’s birthdate so you guys are going through the same stages together!

As for the financial thing... those old friends will start to fall off of it’s something they can’t overcome and you will find new ones to replace them. I have friends that are less well off but don’t have a problem with where we are at financially so it’s not a problem... but I’ve found as I’ve made other SAHM friends they typically have similar comfortable financial stability so it’s something we don’t have to feel badly about and we can be comfortable discussing our daily lives (ie having cleaners, etc) and not feeling like we are bragging.

Source: I have a now 1 year old so just recently went through this! Your hormones will stabilize, and you’ll be able to get out more when baby is a month or 2 older. It will get better!

killadollxx · 2020-02-05T10:43:04+00:00

[deleted]

plumgem · 2020-02-06T05:39:06+00:00

I recommend joining some sort of philanthropic organization or dedicate yourself to an extracurricular like a sport, yoga, volunteering, book club. There you will meet women who have kids and you get mom friends as well as give back or learn a new skill. Good move not complaining about your spouse. It does make people see you differently but that isn't on you. What is on you is living in a way that is consistent with you and the values in your home. Not trying to be nauseatingly positive but this is a good way to practice having empathy and compassionate listening when other women complain.

nneomma · 2020-03-19T18:11:10+00:00

Same here, never share your good life with people (women) and how your husband treats you nicely. Majority are jealous and they will hate for nothing. Keep it to yourself. Thats what I do. Most of the women around me are extremely jealous of me and always do things to make me feel bad, they copy everything I do.

RavenPeril · 2020-02-05T19:17:00+00:00

Do you have a church you go to? If not, that may be a good place to find female friends that will care about more than finances.

Do you volunteer anywhere? You have your needs and many wants taken care of, so what are you doing to give back? This could go a long way towards making other moms feel like you don't look down on them. But don't just donate money, donate your time and effort.

Title	Lonely \| New mom
Author	killadollxx
Upvotes	23
Comments	21
Date	February 5, 2020 12:41 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/ez0gsq/lonely_new_mom/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/lonely-new-mom.330564 https://theredarchive.com/post/330564

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