Hi ladies, I was too busy to post my OYS on Monday, but I finally had time/mental clarity to write it tonight. I would rather share my thoughts now while they are fresh/current rather than wait until next week! Also- if you just want an update on my first post "Married Red Pill" about sending my husband the link to r/marriedredpill, just read the "Relationship" portion towards the end of this novel I ended up writing lol.

OYS 4: Me: 27, Husband:33, Married 4 years, 2 daughters- 6mo and 3yo. SAHM

Social: Still going well! I had a mom friend with her kids over for a playdate and it was a lot of fun! I have a few other people I should reach out too this week to schedule a get together, but I feel like Ive been swamped.

Housekeeping: I was motivated this last week to sort the kids toys. OMG, how do I have so many toys for 2 small children??? I have given away so many stuffed animals and we still have like 30 in the house haha. I was able to put together 3 trash bags full of toys to give away and it felt great. I love getting rid of clutter. My house is small and its so much easier to keep everything organized when I just own less. On another note, can someone please tell me how to keep up with laundry? Its impossible! Im always like 3 loads behind.

Kids: I have let the house get a little messy these last 2 weeks so I could spend more time with the kids. Its been nice. We have been going to the park, playing outside, building with blocks, reading books, doing so much imaginative/pretend play/ dancing etc. Ive really been having so much fun with my girls. They help to make me a “goddess of fun and light” when I slow down and just enjoy doing fun things with them :). Im lucky that my husband doesn’t mind when the housekeeping slips a bit. He likes a clean house just like I do. But we also both value quality time with our children as well. And he is understanding that I can’t do everything perfectly all the time. In fact, we had a conversation about how I can’t keep up with him. He likes that I can’t keep up with him. For us it kind of reinforces his leadership.

Owning My Desires- Something I have been working on for over 6 months now is “owning my desires”. I realized how often I qualify my desires so I don’t feel selfish. I realize how often I use words such as “kind of” to feel out” if the other person is receptive to my desire.For example:

-1. “I kind of feel like pizza for dinner”… qualifying with “kind of” to see if my husband might want pizza too

-2. “Im kind of cold”… to see if the other person wants the heater on in the car. But qualified with “kind of” so I can still say that im fine if not.

-3. “Maybe we should go get coffee sometime”… using “sometime” and “maybe” so I won’t really get a rejection of the offer from a friend

I know I could say things like more directly instead like this:

-1. I really want pizza for dinner

-2. I really cold! Can I turn on the heater?

-3. I’d love to talk to you more soon! Are you free to get coffee this weekend? Maybe our husbands can watch our kids for an hour or so :)

Its like this awkward hinting around about my desire but being purposefully vague so I protect myself from feeling selfish or rejected. I am going to work on this.

Relationship- My husband has changed so much since learning about MRP it’s really astounding. In my last OYS, I shared that my husband wants me to continue to shit test as I normally would, and if it starts to spiral, we have a conversation about it. I “stay on my paper” in these conversations as best as I can. I tell him how I am feeling and why. He listens and we move on. (He does not really get defensive at all anymore!) Ive noticed that these conversations are becoming unnecessary because often times he already knows what happened and my explaining is becoming redundant. Thats a really positive sign to me! He is learning a lot from the million books/MRP posts he has read in the last month. And he is recognizing that when he is inconsistent/ wavering/ indecisive etc, it makes me lose confidence and his leadership and my reaction is to shit test even more.

Also, my husband and I are still enjoying discussing red pill since we are both so familiar with it now. It is everywhere. Once you know, you can see it in the relationships of everyone around you, in TV shows and movies and songs. Its fun to be able to discuss it with my husband!

Sex- OMG we have had amazing sex multiple times the last few weeks. I am rarely one to sacrifice my beauty sleep, but we have stayed up until at least 1am like 4 nights over the last 2 weeks. We have been exploring new things sexually too.

And, I feel like I have had a first taste of his “frame”. The first glimpse to who he his intrinsically and authentically. Like, I knew things about him: that he was a hard-worker, and adventurous and kind, and he prioritized family, fun, and achievement. But he has always been such a people-pleaser/ peace-maker. And I think that’s part of the reason why I felt like he wasn’t leading our relationship. Because ultimately he just wanted to please me/make me happy in our relationship.

BUT, I feel like I am starting to see his authenticity coming through in his actions and interactions with me. I can tell he is thinking less (sometimes) and doing things that come naturally to him (sometimes). And when he does, OMG its such a turn on and the sex is freaking amazing. 😉