36 too old for dating apps?

HappySpinningSeal · 2024-06-04T20:25:35+00:00

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Zeikos · 2024-06-04T16:02:01+00:00

Suggestion coming from a guy: your social network.

The flesh and bones one, friends and friends of friends are incredibly effective in suggesting who to date.

It's a mix between having a wing woman/man and being your own.
At our age in dating apps you're mostly going to find serial daters.
It's not always the case, people end long term relationship in their 30s all the time.

But dating apps are a sinkhole of emotional energy, a lot of sifting for what?

Another option is social situations/hobbies that require effort/passion.
Gym is fine, but imho not specific enough.
When the hobby takes effort it becomes a natural barrier for entry for who isn't mature enough for commitment.

Basically if someone can be passionate about something for a long time it's a good hint that they can apply that in other aspects of their life.
The gymn isn't exactly that because while it does take effort to do properly, everybody can go in one. There's little actual filter.

Jenneapolis · 2024-06-04T16:58:49+00:00

“Why does a girl like you need dating apps” is always a guy’s attempt at a compliment, just like when they say “how are you single.” Don’t take it offensively, assume positive intent because that’s how they mean it.

There are plenty of people on dating apps of all ages. I think it’s silly to restrict your dating pool and not use them - the best advice is always to use a variety of methods, not just one.

hawkeye2nd · 2024-06-04T17:26:14+00:00

You've got two responses - one feminine and focused on inner qualities and dissecting everything you wrote. The second masculine and focused on action and passion. I'd say take advice from men, if you want a man. Ask your male friends why you're undateable - and ask married men how they find their wives, why they chose her.

If you don't have male friends - make them, and like the other commentor said - has to be a passion hobby. Something you care about, not just dabbling in to meet people.

You like dancing? Try partner dancing - west coast swing is fun. Salsa if you're into Latin music & rhythms. Regular swing & lindyhop is super casual. You'll get some friends - since the general rule of thumb is to not date partners. And from there, they might hook you up with family or friends in other circles.

You like being outdoors? Then do competitive rock climbing, or something that requires going to events with large groups of people and socializing.

Enjoy arts & entertainment? Go to arts festivals across the country, film festivals are great because they're all about mingling - with people who just enjoy watching movies, and people who are in the industry, oftentimes those with money, but also those totally broke looking for money - basically, it's a catch-all of people with all sorts of interests, ages, and backgrounds. Often semi-large festivals are in quaint towns, with lots of evening mixers and other events.

Are you a go-getter? If you're in a specific industry, or a freelancer, there are so many events of all kinds across the country - that aren't super expensive - that are either super niche to an industry, or niche to business/entrepreneurship. You write that entire trip off, get to sight see in the meantime, and there are always mixers. You go there to have fun and meet people with an open mind, rather than looking for something.

The more you get out into places where networking is accepted, the more connections you make, and eventually, through those connections, you'll find someone. It's never going to be love at first sight - it's most of the time through "referrals" - someone knows and likes you, not enough to date you, but know the perfect person to set you up with. And until you find your circle of people that share the same values by taking the same actions and sharing similar passions (through hobbies).

No one becomes friends by smiling at each other - only through a good reason to come together and getting to know each other through some activity. Same with dating. Why would anyone take a chance on a stranger, when they've got familiar and comfortable, even if totally not perfect, a phone call away.

I keep my being told my profile is the best men have seen, never short of "likes" but I'm more of a values and energy girl so I struggle with the surface levelness

This is exactly why you need to find a proper hobby. Show your energy, don't tell.

I know plenty of women over 40/50 who have met their partners doing hobbies - because they said "fuck it, I'm going to do what I'm actually passionate about, instead of wasting what I have left of my life". And then suddenly, even younger men find them more interesting, in the same circles. Stop looking for men - start doing what you love where people are and people will naturally gravitate towards you.

bastrdsnbroknthings · 2024-06-04T16:37:51+00:00

When I was in my 30s and single, during the height of my "captain" years, I could be found primarily in airports, hotels and restaurants because I was traveling a lot for work. Other locations where I would actively try to talk to women or at least seem approachable included grocery stores, hardware stores, or out at meetups centered around my interests (disc golf, hiking, fishing, canoeing, rafting, gaming, atheism, baseball). I wasn't sober at the time so bars were always a thing, but I can count on one hand the number of times I actually met a woman at a bar/club and it turned into any kind of dating scenario. In-the-flesh social networks were the most effective for meeting women that would turn into LTRs, and ultimately how I met my wife, but unfortunately that happened very infrequently because my social network just got much, much smaller after I got out of college.

Anyway, if I were you, I'd try the lumber or tools aisles at your local big box hardware store, if you're looking for a captain-type traditional man. Guys shopping for one at grocery stores might be a good option as well. Or go hang around the nearest airport bar outside security and look for a guy carrying a laptop bag, wearing comfy shoes and no wedding ring.

Vermillion-Rx · 2024-06-04T16:19:52+00:00

9 at best otherwise

9's are just 7's with good makeup

You're not being honest with yourself about your physical appearance if you're currently rating yourself a 7.

Need to lose 14lbs

And 14 lbs is a lot. It's not a small difference to men.

I am the "full package" other than my age because of stigma / society.

Humble

This isn't humble. Highly unlikely you are actually the "full package" or men you want would be more inclined to date you. And it's not stigma and society's fault late 30s men are more attracted to early 30s or late 20s women. This likewise isn't humble, it's bitter and in denial. "I don't like this inconvenient reality, so let me blame something other than biology for this

Full package

I've been engaged 3 times

This is a ton of baggage. 3 separate men proposed to you and then decided it wasn't something they could pull through with. There is some serious lack of introspection and social awareness going on here.

Keep getting told my OLD profile is the best

Is that what your results say? Stop listening to what people say especially if it doesn't match your results.

OLD = unlikely to meet men that are long term interested, and the mistake a lot of women make on OLD is choosing the best conceivable options, who have match options out the ***

Dancing = I do a lot of social dance for personal development and casual encounters™ it is a terrible way to meet a relationship partner imo. I actively warn men to not date women at dance halls. I don't know if this is some kind of daytime event for you or a nightclub/dance hall but if anything that has alcohol or at night you are unlikely to find anything serious at all or anything worth becoming serious for a variety of reasons

Gym = place where men get stigmatized for approaching women. Not sure what you're expecting here unless you do the approach yourself. Even confident men don't want to lose their gym membership

Where to meet men?

You are probably most likely to meet men through social networking and more meaningful hobbies that aren't places where single women go to get touched by a dozen different men each night.

Meeting men through friends, coed sports, other kinds of larger social gatherings.

And dropping your standards to what you actually can achieve. You have a lot of baggage that would scare off a lot of quality men and sound like you aren't being realistic about your appearance/traits

_Pumpkin_Muffin · 2024-06-04T20:15:22+00:00

What I gather from your post here:

You're almost 37, overweight, an addict in recovery (congrats on 13 months!), with declining looks, a history of breaking off multiple engagements, a desire to stsrt a family (realistically) around 40, and very high standards for a man.

Is it true?

Does it sound good or bad?

I mean no offense here. I'm describing what I read. Would you get offended if a man described you as I just did?

You have high standards for men, and those will be men with options. So, you need to be a good option. The best option. And I'm afraid your age alone is going to disqualify you for a lot of men - if they want children, they'll probably be looking for a younger woman, with good reasons. Yes it's possible to have kids in your late 30s/early 40s, but chances of a healthy term birth go down, and men know it. Freezing your eggs was smart, but no man is going to HOPE for IVF with frozen eggs if he has a chance at a spontaneous healthy pregnancy.

I'd say looks wise I'm maybe a 7, because of my age, cellulite, HWR of .75, I have about 14lbs left to drop. But have most likely been a 9 at best, prior to gaining some weight, cellulite and the extra years! (This is honest and accurate)

It doesn't matter what you used to look like. You can't take off the extra years. You can work to look your best NOW. I'm not a fan of the 10 point scale but since you're using it - are you rating your looks as "well above average" compared to all other women "competing" with you for the same men? I'll be blunt, the fact you bring up that you used to be a 9 makes me think there's some wishful thinking here.

But adding in personality, humour, intelligence, purpose driven, business owner, well traveled, to be humble, I am the "full package" other than my age because of stigma / society.

Younger women are (on average) going to be more attractive, more fertile, and have less baggage than you. And men are (on average) going to care about those things. This is not society's fault.

very fertile, the last year I've removed everything toxic from my life to concentrate on my health)

You can't know how fertile you are until you have kids. I'm not wishing you infertility, it's a simple fact. More importantly, MEN won't know how fertile you are, and will only have your age and (subconsciously) looks to gauge that. You're doing good to minimize health risks, but it's still not going to be ideal.

I'm not saying this to bring you down. But reality is as it is, and BSing yourself is not going to help.

INFO: what are your standards for men?

Sunshine12e · 2024-06-04T19:00:11+00:00

36 is not too old. I went on dating apps at 37 to 39 and met plenty of decent men.

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BrilliantLifter · 2024-06-04T17:58:20+00:00

Talk to men in the gym. Men have been trained by society to never approach a woman in the gym, so you are going to have to make the move.

PersephoneGraves · 2024-06-04T17:06:19+00:00

I don’t think there’s an age limit? I’m 36 and come across lots of men in their 50s and older.

AutoModerator · 2024-06-04T15:46:30+00:00

Title: 36 too old for dating apps?

Author Fantastic-Fudge888

Full text: I'm 36 (and 5 months)

Basically been unknowingly in nun mode for the last 2 years, had some health issues, froze eggs, Sober for 13 months

But I've no idea how to meet eligible men!

I go dancing (sober), go to the gym, smile at everyone when I'm out (deep in my femine energy expiriment too)

I'd say looks wise I'm maybe a 7, because of my age, cellulite, HWR of .75, I have about 14lbs left to drop.

But adding in personality, humour, intelligence, to be humble, I am the "full package" other than my age because of stigma / society

Past experience, I've been engaged 3 times, and have been in serious relationships lasting 3, 3, 3 and 6 years since the age of 15.

However my choice in men was a pattern hence nun mode... not dwelling on the fact I let a waster have my "best years"

But I want nothing more than to be married and start a family (very fertile, the last year I've removed everything toxic from my life to concentrate on my health)

I feel like my age is just off putting on OLD

I keep my being told my profile is the best men have seen, never short of "likes" but I'm more of a values and energy girl so I struggle with the surface levelness on OLD

I don't really like using dating apps but I have no idea how to meet suitable men 😕

What's a girl to do!?

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Title	36 too old for dating apps?
Author	Fantastic-Fudge888
Upvotes	1
Comments	36
Date	June 4, 2024 3:46 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1d80f8g/36_too_old_for_dating_apps/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/36-too-old-for-dating-apps.1520541 https://theredarchive.com/post/1520541

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