A quick clarifying question

TempestTcup · 2015-04-22T13:04:14+00:00

One thing that most people don't understand when they read RPW is that we are mostly women with very dominant personalities, married to or dating men with very dominant personalities. This sort of relationship only works when there is one clear leader, and men generally tend to have more refined leadership skills. Plus we like our men to be decisive, skillful, and forceful if necessary.

Women are attracted to men they can look up to, so if the man is a strong leader, she will be more attracted. If she is in a power struggle with him, they will either fight terribly, or the man will shut down and go along to get along, thereby losing attraction in her eyes.

Most women here either want to quit fighting or they want their man to regain his former leadership qualities. Since the only person you can change is you, we are trying to change to have a more harmonious, attracted relationship, and the answer to that is to have the man as the leader.

Most of the women here who are older and in the workforce are professionals and lead at work; they find that not being in charge at home is surprisingly relaxing and pleasant. We are learning to be softer and less aggressive, and some have noticed that it carries over well to the workplace; people are more willing to work harder/better for a less aggressive woman.

So, when you see a field report here saying "I'm so proud of myself, I STFU!" it is because she has a problem STFUing and is working on that problem. For some reason the other subs around reddit think that we are a bunch of naturally doormat type women getting together to chat, when in reality we are the opposite.

abdada · 2015-04-22T04:15:32+00:00

I tend to attract very independent successful women who are fscking tired of making decisions 24/7/365. They already make enough decisions for work, social, family, etc.

So they look up to me to lead the love/sex/bonding roles.

It is NOT sexist that I pick where we eat -- she wants me to. It is not sexist that I pick what we eat -- she wants me to. It is not sexist that I tell her what I want to see her wearing, or when I am ready for her to stop wearing it. She wants me to.

They relax and live better because the stresses of constant decisionmaking disappear when a trustworthy leader takes some of the reins.

I don't command her around, I lead our relationship within the boundaries of that relationship.

So she is freer because of the breaks I provide in her constant decision making life.

Bakerofpie · 2015-04-22T13:27:11+00:00

I'm not sure where you've seen a focus on being independent and being on your own. We are encouraged to be the best versions of ourselves that we can be, and that still counts if we are single. So if you don't currently have a man, then yes, improving yourself requires a certain amount of independence. Also, in this sort of marriage the husband needs to be able to count on his wife to run the ship in his absence if something happens and he is rendered temporarily unable to do so.

"My own self betterment" involves being a better spouse and continually improving in that arena. I don't feel that I've given up my independence. I'm still making a choice to be in this kind of relationship. I chose a man I felt could be a good leader. But he doesn't dictate my entire life or control my every move. He is the captain of the team, but that doesn't mean I have no say. Being a good leader means listening to your partner and considering what they have to say. He is in charge in the end, but that isn't to say I have zero power in the marriage and that I am a puppet existing to do his bidding.

PursuingGrace · 2015-04-22T15:58:02+00:00

For me, Personally, I feel that the fact that I have the ability to live independently, and well, part of what makes me worthy of a good man to lead me. What is the benefit for a man, what is the gift of having a woman that submits herself to his care and leadership, if it is done because she is not strong enough, smart enough, or able enough, to stand on her own? That sort of submission is not a gift. It is, quite frankly, a self serving practice. My husband and I have known each other for 15 years. When we actually started dating, he said that one of the most attractive things he found about me (before we started dating), was my ability to be an effective leader, and how hard I was willing to work to provide for myself, yet still maintain my femininity, and lady-like demeanor. He liked that I was considered a leader among my peers and coworkers, but I never let it strip me of my humility, and desire to serve others. Now that we are married, he loves that even though I have started my own home business, and I have what could be considered high stress positions as a volunteer for several groups that he and I feel are worth supporting, I always do my absolute best to show him the respect he deserve as the leader of our family. Quite frankly, if a man wants a doormat, there are plenty of options. Any idiot can choose to submit to any other idiot out of laziness, greed, or fear. But if you want to find a partner that is a great person, that is a true leader? Well, you need to be the kind of woman that that man deserves. Which involves being a person that can survive and thrive as her own person.

_wingnut_ · 2015-04-22T04:37:04+00:00

Where are you seeing a strong sense of independence and pride over taking care of things on your own here?

DreamBoatGuy25 · 2015-04-22T21:11:26+00:00

Keep in mind that traditional gender roles have existed as the standard in nearly every culture through out human history and still exist in many places outside the west. So the things you're seeing advocated for here certainly did not originate with RPT and are the antithesis of something new or strange. It's actually modern relationship gender roles that would fit that.

You can also research or do some traveling and talk to people where traditional gender role relationships are still the norm, if you want to gain more insight into this lifestyle.

myfriendmarkus · 2015-04-28T13:42:03+00:00

I am not a weak woman, I am smart, strong minded and resilient. And honestly if I wasn't with a man who is just as strong if not stronger than myself I would probably walk all over him. I want to make decisions, but I want a partner not a child that I have to look after. I want a man who can look after me, that doesn't mean I'm not going to look after him in my own ways. A relationship is a team, and a good captain doesn't disregard his teammate.

Title	A quick clarifying question
Author	theluckierone
Upvotes	13
Comments	29
Date	April 22, 2015 4:04 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/33fsjh/a_quick_clarifying_question/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/a-quick-clarifying-question.85335 https://theredarchive.com/post/85335

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