Abusive Relationship Break up

buttermiIk · 2023-06-03T17:35:44+00:00

Women are delicate and need to be protected by a man, if he made you feel abused (even emotionally) then he’s not that great of a man or a partner. I’m really sorry you had to stay in a relationship like that and I hope your next pull will treat you kindly always

cohost3 · 2023-06-03T20:29:02+00:00

Take your time getting back on your feet. Don’t start dating anytime soon.

When you do eventually start dating, I wouldn’t disclose that you were previously in an abusive relationship. Men will see it as a red flag, as malicious women could claim this as a way to retaliate against their ex (NOT saying this is what you are doing, but a lot of men will be wary of this). Or even worse, men who want to abuse will see that you previously put up with this behaviour. Just keep your past in the past.

countrylemon · 2023-06-03T19:59:59+00:00

Congratulations for getting out of that relationship OP and rebuilding your self worth! I know that mustn’t have been easy.

I haven’t been in one but I’ve helped my best friend get out of one. Small steps to improving her self worth was big. Just fixing herself exactly the food she wanted to eat, without worrying. Buying a dress for the first time (her ex wouldn’t let her wear them), and spending one night a week doing a “Me Night” she calls them. Where she does something, could be a face mask, could be going to a new restaurant with a friend, or going on a hike by herself. She uses that one night of the week to push s herself to do something she knows she wants to do but might be scared to do.

Have a supportive friend who is willing to go out with you when you need, or hype you up.

Take it one day at a time and just keep putting effort into yourself for a better tomorrow.

Also my advice to everyone, work on that positive inner monologue. Did something that was hard to accomplish? Don’t forget to tell yourself that you’re proud of what you did.

LateralThinker13 · 2023-06-05T21:03:30+00:00

I was just wondering if anyone has left an abusive relationship and how they made themselves “level up” or just feel better. I was always wondering how they felt after the breakup.

Relieved. I felt relieved. Beyond the initial horror of my spouse asking for a divorce, which lasted for a few hours, I felt nothing but relief. I was free.

That was when my brain started turning. How to make the divorce (no kids at the time) as painless as possible. How not to trigger an emotional explosion. How to slide out with minimum drama. Etc.

Once the final divorce decree was done, and all bills paid, I felt nothing but relief, even joy. An abusive spouse is hell. And I was lucky getting away clean, too. If I'd not known RP theory by then, I'd likely have fought, provoked, etc. and gotten a fight and had to pay a lot more than I did. And I had a lot more to lose.

Now I'm remarried to an actual RPW, feeling great, uplifted. My new wife encouraged me to join a gym (at age 49, for the first time!) and I go 4x week and look and feel better than I ever did with my ex. Having a supportive, loving, unselfish partner is amazing.

TheBunk_TB · 2023-06-03T16:13:52+00:00

I have been told that enforcing your boundaries often makes people of all sorts, feel proper. Or at least when you over come the drive to peacekeep or “be nice”

saddensgirl · 2023-06-03T21:59:18+00:00

One of my exes was verbally and emotionally abusive. He would call me every name under the sun when he was angry, but also thought it was okay because he never hit me. 🙄 He would also manipulate me emotionally even after we broke up by drunk calling me and reminiscing over what could've been had I not made him break up with me.

What helped was taking time to work on myself. I stopped dating for 8 months and worked on rebuilding my confidence. I started working out a bit, did the things I wanted to do that he used to make fun of me for, and really just enjoyed being with me. Once my self confidence had recovered, I started dating again and met my future husband within a few months, but I also set boundaries before that.

I decided what were my 5 non negotiables in a relationship and acted accordingly to those. When I went on a date and the guy raised his voice at the waitress, I ghosted him the next day despite the fact that we had been seeing each other for a month. I decided that any man who thought verbal abuse of any kind was okay, was an automatic walking red flag and I wouldn't tolerate even one instance of it ever again.

AutoModerator · 2023-06-03T14:20:12+00:00

Title: Abusive Relationship Break up

Full text: Hi everyone!

I’m pretty new to this sub :)

I was just wondering if anyone has left an abusive relationship and how they made themselves “level up” or just feel better. I was always wondering how they felt after the breakup.

I’ve been single a few days and I can’t believe how much of an impact my ex made on me, I’m embarrassed.

He screamed at me, told me to shut up, and called me a bitch.

BUT he never hit me. (His words, no prompting)

It’s nice to have a conversation and being sure of what you’re saying.

I feel like my posture is better, I don’t feel the need to make myself feel small anymore.

My voice is deeper since I’m not always trying to raise it so I don’t get screamed at.

Please let me know if this isn’t appropriate, I will delete it.

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Title	Abusive Relationship Break up
Author	Realistic_Pass
Upvotes	13
Comments	10
Date	June 3, 2023 2:20 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/13zebh5/abusive_relationship_break_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/abusive-relationship-break-up.1221170 https://theredarchive.com/post/1221170

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