Help! I only went out with this guy 4 times. Granted he came over twice and we cuddled and kissed on my bed. Everything seemed to be going really well and we had a 5th date planned but then last minute he backed out saying he didn’t know what he wanted and didn’t want to waste my time. This is after we had many conversations about what we wanted, LTR, marriage, kids, etc.

I think I fell into a state of limerence. It’s been over a week now since he called it off and I still think about him all the time, look him up online, and feel anxious and a little nauseous about my current dating prospects. He was everything I wanted, great family, good career, connections to buy a house here in Hawaii which is rare since it’s crazy expensive here… we seemed to have a lot in common to connect over as well and good chemistry.

I made the mistake of playing a Cardi B song in my car after he told me he liked Nicki Minage. I also made the mistake about taking about how chubby I was so many times and revealing health information I probably didn’t need to disclose. I just feel so disheartened, maybe it’s better to stay single then get into a relationship with someone I really don’t feel great about? But then I think of “marry him, the case for marrying mr. Good enough” and I wonder if I should settle.

For reference, I am 34 but often told I look like I’m in my 20s. He was 32. Is that too young for me? I do want kids but not desperately enough to do IVF or egg freezing/sperm bank or anything like that.