First date etiquette

Altruistic-Bake7011 · 2024-07-03T10:40:43+00:00

I found the most useful tip is to think that you have two main tasks to do on a first date: 1) Be yourself 2) Find out if you like him

If he likes you, is his job to figure out. Not yours.

And if you're not pretending to be someone else (typically adapting into the type of person you think he likes...women are unfortunately great at this), he gets to find out how much he likes the real you.

Btw, please don't expect that super special "spark"/"tingle"/"crush"/etc, on the first date. If I had listened to Disney/Hollywood I never would gotten to marry my husband. People confuse big feelings with love, when in truth it often just means excitement and uncertainty (does he like me or not?!??)

If you had a nice time, you felt safe, and you wouldn't mind getting to know him a bit better, go on that next date.

Apologize if this wasn't exactly what you asked for. Otherwise I agree with what the others are saying.

Good luck!!

youllknowwhenitstime · 2024-07-02T23:04:34+00:00

Dress for a sit-down restaurant, so a touch nicer than casual, and femininely. 99% of guys love skirts and hair down.

Talk and get to know him better.

Enjoy yourself - any man wants to know his efforts are having a pleasing effect.

Offer to split, graciously accept if he insists. Offering is never bad form.

Assuming it's true, afterwards message him to tell him you had a wonderful time.

tornteddie · 2024-07-02T22:47:58+00:00

I dont have any advice but i just wanna say i hope it goes well!!

SavioursSamurai · 2024-07-03T09:34:59+00:00

Someone else mentioned that they don't have a first date pick them up, and I agree that going yourself is the safe option until you know the guy better. Offer to split or pay the bill, but let him pay. Especially if he asked you, he should pay. Dress to impress, but based on the location or activity you're going to. A dinner date or a movie - go all out with a nice dress (an LBD never is wrong for this), do your hair, etc. If it's to a game, something more outdoorsy. Should be you and reflect your comfort and personality, and what mood you want to convey (casual, elegant, sexy, fun, etc., or any combination of those).

Hot_Blacksmith_3404 · 2024-07-03T00:31:34+00:00

Allow him to be a gentleman - allow him to pick you up, wait for him to open the doors for you, pull out your chair, pay for the meal, etc. I disagree with the other comments about offering to pay, since you both seem traditional. Warmly say thank you and let him know you appreciate it. Wear a nice sundress. Otherwise, don’t overthink it. Have a nice conversation, ask him about himself, get to know him. Have fun!

AnonishCath · 2024-07-03T02:28:12+00:00

Ask him what the dress code is! He might be planning dinner, where a modest dress would be nice, or bowling, so you’d want to bring socks and maybe wear jeans etc.

I never allowed dates to pick me up until after I knew them well and had met their families. I just don’t think that’s safe. If you live at home it could be ok.

Don’t offer to split the bill. At most, offer to leave the tip.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2024-07-03T21:00:13+00:00

So let him pick you up if you know him well enough that you can trust him. By that I mean, you can be alone with him without any threats to your physical safety. It seems like you’ve known each other a while, but I only know what you tell us.

Ask him what the dress code is and what time to be ready. Those two things should be the only things you have to know if you were dating a masculine man.

Offer to split the bill, and don’t argue with them when he says no. If he’s a confused guy who let you split it, be ready to split it. But he will probably say as no he sounds like a tradcon.

be engaging, show appreciation for his choices, assuming he doesn’t take you to some absolute dump and thank him for a nice time at the end. If you want to go on a second date, say something like “I had fun, I would really like you to call me.” Or text or whatever kids say these days. Men do not pick up on signals, so it’s better if you say things, out loud, using words.

AutoModerator · 2024-07-02T22:36:57+00:00

Title: First date etiquette

Author No_Bus_1389

Full text: This weekend I’m (21F) going on a first date with a guy (20M) I met at a Christian community service group at college. We’ve had a few conversations throughout the year and I’ve always found him to be very attractive, but I know basically nothing about him. He asked me out randomly after church last week, and I’m super excited, but also nervous. He told me that he has liked me for a few months now. I can see myself developing feelings for him and don’t want to screw this date up. I haven’t been in a serious relationship since high school and I don’t really know the rules of “adult” dating.

What’s good first date “etiquette?” He already asked me if it was okay if he planned the whole thing. This is a huge green flag to me (I love a decisive man). I think we’re going out to dinner. Do I let him pay for the whole thing? Should I even offer to split the bill? Should I let him pick me up? How should I dress? I know a lot of this comes down to personal preference and whatnot, but if anyone has any date tips I’d appreciate them!

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Accomplished-Bet8945 · 2024-07-03T23:28:43+00:00

Can't go wrong with a cute sundress. I like the ones that are fitted at the top and flowy on the bottom. You're lucky to meet such a great guy that at his young age, is already taking the lead, is Christian AND attractive. I've only met one of those in my life and I'm 26. Let him pay for the date. Let him do most of the heavy lifting. Just make sure you look pretty and make sure to thank him for the meal after

One-Sentence4136 · 2024-07-02T23:08:15+00:00

I’m 33/m, and will try to adjust to something a bit more age appropriate.

I would suggest you offer to split the bill. Do be serious and ready to split, don’t be assertive in your offer to split.

If he offers to pick you up, and you feel safe with him knowing where you live, you should accept.

I suggest you wear a dress. I’ve never, ever ever met a man who didn’t like to see a woman in a dress. There’s 2 kinds of “dressed up for a date” - fashion cool (whatever they’re selling at Aerie/Aritzia this month), and attractive (dresses, skirts, form-flattering feminine clothing.) Think about this for men; do you want to see a man show up in a fitted button-down and slacks for a date, or a baggy Gucci hoodie and ripped jeans?

To impress him; find some interesting/unique things about him. An obscure hobby. A quirk in his upbringing. A personality trait. Ask him so many questions about it - and be genuinely interested in these things that make him unique!

Title	First date etiquette
Author	No_Bus_1389
Upvotes	17
Comments	23
Date	July 2, 2024 10:36 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1dtys9i/first_date_etiquette/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/first-date-etiquette.1523073 https://theredarchive.com/post/1523073

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