Generosity. I don't understand where I'm going wrong ?

cohost3 · 2023-03-31T15:41:10+00:00

Read fascinating womanhood. There is a great part about how to communicate and ask for things. Men can’t read minds, and often are not as good at reading emotional cues.

That being said, you are in the vetting stage. If you are finding that they are not reciprocating generosity, you can still vet them out.

Dehydrated_Jellyfish · 2023-03-31T17:46:34+00:00

You’d be surprised how many men will pay for a ride if you ask. You do feel worthy if you also feel resentful it doesn’t happen. You may just struggle with communicating your wants. When you ask, you can say ‘could you send me a taxi to pick me up? It would make me feel special to you and protected 🥰.’

LateralThinker13 · 2023-03-31T16:01:27+00:00

I pay for my own taxi. He will sometimes pay my cab but I feel I can't just straight out ask for it.

Okay...

I think it's more than when he pays a cab , I feel safer, worthy and taken care of provided for. I'm not sure how to go about having this conversation as we aren't married I'm not his wife. I feel I don't deserve it.

Okay...

I sometimes feel a bit resentful about this.

Got it. What you're experiencing is a COVERT CONTRACT. You've set up an expectation of behavior that he hasn't signed up for, and then being resentful when he does not fulfill it.

Edit: Also, there's a whole lot of "I feel" in this post. His feelings are not your responsibility, and feeling aren't a good basis for rational actions. For sure he can't read your emotions like an empath. If you do not open your mouth and communicate with a man, he can't fulfil your needs, and cannot be held accountable for them.

To quote a great line from Sliding Doors:

“Gerry, I'm a woman! We don't say what we want! But we reserve the right to get pissed off if we don't get it. That's what makes us so fascinating! And not a little bit scary.”

No, that's what makes you a PSYCHOPATH that men don't wife up. In the movie, this is why the woman STAYS his side piece. Don't do this.

StVirgin · 2023-03-31T18:06:24+00:00

You mention cabs a lot, like it's the only material thing you spend on. Other things on your list are immaterial: time, attention, etc. This leads me to wonder: what is the nature of your relationship? Don't you do anything other than take a cab to/from his place? Are you in some fwb arrangement instead of committed relationship? If yes, then you might be expecting too much.

wes_bestern · 2023-03-31T14:14:48+00:00

Communication is key. A lot of people feel shy expressing their needs, but that only leads to resentment, while your partner is left clueless. You end up standing in your own way and then blaming him for not being able to read your feelings.

Tell him how you feel. If he objects, then he's not someone who can, or is willing to, meet your needs. You dont want to be with someone who wont meet your needs. If he listens and tries, be patient. If he argues, listen and then explain further.

This is extremely difficult for conflict-avoidant people. But the conflict is already there; it's just internalized. The only way through is communication. It seems risky, but if you dont feel adequately taken care of, what have you really got to lose? There are plenty of fish in the sea.

Diamond-Breath · 2023-04-01T01:53:42+00:00

You should rest in your femininity, he should be the one traveling to you. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and he always travels to me to take me out. He also pays for the dates.

red_Mercedez · 2023-03-31T17:10:13+00:00

You are too good, trying to prove your ‘worth’ to him, when you do not have to prove aaaaanything. Completely stop paying for things and being too nice. If he is worth it, and you two are meant to be together, he will step up to the plate. I was exactly in this situation before ❤️

AutoModerator · 2023-03-31T13:55:37+00:00

Title: Generosity. I don't understand where I'm going wrong ?

Full text: Hi

Been in relationship a few years we don't live together. In every relationship I have this problem where I'm very generous but the man isn't really. I'm generous with my time, affection, listening , I pay for my own taxi. He will sometimes pay my cab but I feel I can't just straight out ask for it.

I don't want to across as money is important but I think it's more than when he pays a cab , I feel safer, worthy and taken care of provided for. I'm not sure how to go about having this conversation as we aren't married I'm not his wife. I feel I don't deserve it.

I sometimes feel a bit resentful about this. I think I'm generous, I even take some small groceries for him sometimes if he needs something. I'm always thankful and say thank you for anything he does.

I feel stuck how to go about this? Is it me being too generous? Any help or discussion would be lovely !

Thanks

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Title	Generosity. I don't understand where I'm going wrong ?
Author	GlamGemini
Upvotes	7
Comments	25
Date	March 31, 2023 1:55 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/127m9gs/generosity_i_dont_understand_where_im_going_wrong/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/generosity-i-dont-understand-where-im-going-wrong.1207310 https://theredarchive.com/post/1207310

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