How do I start dating?

Cosima_Fan_Tutte · 2023-11-08T01:44:56+00:00

I think the first step is working on your social skills rather than jumping into dating. Stop watching red pill stuff cold turkey, delete it from your phone and history if needed. It's iffy content even for the socially apt, and poison for overly online weirdos.

When you start college, try to befriend women offline. Ideally, women who're as basic/normie as possible, leaning toward the nice girl next door types.

You will be tempted to scoff and sneer at them, but don't. A woman who can befriend and navigate normal female social groups will do better in dating, at work, in life.

Try to imitate their positive social behaviors, their style, their makeup. Say yes to most social activities, join clubs, rec leagues, whatever. Get a part-time customer-facing job where you have to talk to people.

Do not stay in your room. Even reading or studying at a coffee shop is better than doing the same at home alone. See how you interact with men and who you attract offline and through social circles and go from there. You will feel dumb and uncomfortable at times, but it'll get easier with practice. Good luck!

Edit: I'm a shy, weird woman who should have taken this advice at 18. My life drastically improved when I finally took it at 28!

leosandlattes · 2023-11-08T02:49:34+00:00

I’m going to echo what’s been said already: get off red pill spaces for men, and stop engaging with black pill/incel content too. They’re primarily venting spaces for men and… I don’t think it’s healthy for women who are just out of childhood to be consuming it. If you need to talk about this stuff with someone, stick to red pill spaces for women. But also, don’t talk about this stuff with people irl, lol.

Don’t date at first. Spend your first semester or two making friends with the girlies. The easiest way is through 1) study groups in class, and 2) joining a club, regular activity, research lab, or rec sports.

Your first goal should be to meet as many people as possible just to acclimate yourself to stuff like saying hello and introductions. That’s often the scariest part. Even if that’s all you manage to do that day, that’s still a win. Any baby steps are good steps!

Then make an effort to befriend women who are pretty normal. If you have a good set of female friends, it’ll give you a great support system! When I was in college, most of my friends actually came from study groups and women I met through my major / program of study. I joined a women in STEM group and another club that was for career interest.

You’ll want to make sure some of these clubs and activities are going to be regular ones that you’re inclined to stick out long term. One of the biggest challenges college students face making friends is that you make “friends” one semester for a class and then never see them again. That kind of coming and going and lack of permanency usually results in feelings of loneliness. And that’s why I chose activities where I was most likely to see familiar faces, both in club meetings and in my classes.

And a lot of people think this one doesn’t matter, but hear me out: look presentable. Don’t overdress or over primp, but the goal is to look friendly and approachable. Wear some light mascara or lash oil, lip gloss or lip tint, maybe some earrings. You can wear the standard college girl stuff, you just don’t want to look messy. Smile when you introduce yourself!

I hope I gave you enough to start with - if you have anymore questions just let me know! I was also a weirdo who consumed too much incel/femcel brain rot when I was close to your age. I spent a lot of time online, didn’t make an effort until later in college, and if I could do it all over again I would. Good luck!!! :)

ArkNemesis00 · 2023-11-08T21:53:03+00:00

I'm going to point you to the Healthygamergg YouTube channel. Dr. K has a lot of videos aimed at building social skills and self-improvement.

Purified-water2020 · 2023-11-08T17:46:06+00:00

I can’t give advice but I’d just like to appreciate this post cause I’ve been homeschooled most my life and I’m currently in college , it’s kinda lonely tbh but it’s a commuter school so I didn’t expect alot of social scenes going in. Best of luck out there ! Just don’t stress about it

ClothesOnInTheDark · 2023-11-08T01:51:36+00:00

All women(including super models) rate their own looks as less than they should. I don't know why maybe something in nature made women need men to give them reassurance on their looks so as to help perpetuate the species. If you think you are a 5 then you are probably a 7. If you think you are a 7 then you are most likely a 9. You are young woman. The whole world is yours. Everyone wants to be your friend and all guys want to do stuff for you for nothing more than just a kind word. The cowardice of the female brain is the only thing stopping you from ruling everything. With the power you have right now I could make millions and get the spouse of my dreams and raise legions of simp armies to do my bidding. Stop being a coward and take control of your life.

Fun-Economist1306 · 2023-11-08T05:22:03+00:00

Let’s date… it is that easy

AutoModerator · 2023-11-08T01:20:45+00:00

Title: How do I start dating?

Author Personal_Bend_8234

Full text: I (18F) am going to be going to university this summer and I'm ready to have a dating life.

I know the title seems silly, I know for a woman the answers should be obvious. But, the thing is, I have been homeschooled since 5th grade, haven't made an irl friend in YEARS, and have aspergers. Basically, no social skills, I spent my entire teen life on my computer and in my bedroom. Most of my social interaction came from people online, and I've lurked in incel/blackpill forums since I was 12 and as a result my worldview is very, very flawed.

At the very least, I've tried for about 6 months now to improve myself and I think I made a lot of progress... I don't come across as autistic anymore, just shy, and that's according to real people! I have no dating experience and even though I'm obsessed with looks theory, still have no way of gauging who is in my "league," and who isn't. I feel so blind to what I look like in comparison to others, I feel like maybe I'm a 5-6/10? I don't know though. No one has ever said I was ugly but I don't have enough real world experience to know if I'm desirable to guys I like.

I downloaded a dating app yesterday just to try it, ended up getting too nervous and deleting it because I couldn't hold a conversation with these very, very normal guys. I'm only good at talking to people who've consumed as much internet brainrot as I have. I'm really struggling because there's so little resources for redpilled women, so as a result I've been binge-watching Hamza Ahmed and other redpill guys who make videos for other guys, and to be honest it has helped me a lot socially, but I feel like I'd benefit more from actual women like me. I just want to assimilate with society. I'm tired of being weird. I don't know what I am even asking for anymore, I just need help, and every time I ask regular dating communities they just give me the same basic bluepill nonsense that doesn't apply to a woman as socially disadvantaged as I am.

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Key_Hunter4064 · 2023-11-08T11:22:58+00:00

I think you should try and make friends first. Don't rush it, you might end with the wrong guy just because you just want to have someone. I'd suggest start by making friends first, play sports, join a club(eg dancing or martial arts) or go to church. Interact with your class mates, teachers and people who you come across in college to build your social skills. Understand different types of relationships. Friends, best friends, coworkers, acquaintance, Course mates, etc... Give it at least a year or two then once you're comfortable enough then maybe then you can date.

TheBunk_TB · 2023-11-08T14:52:39+00:00

Counseling?

crossthemark · 2023-11-15T02:20:49+00:00

I definitely did not date until I was ready, that was at 25. It took me four more years to develop into someone who was ready to have a committed, mature, successful relationship. I am a late bloomer but I never could force things. Take time for yourself and you will have the maturity to love, to give and receive love in a healthy way.

Title	How do I start dating?
Author	Personal_Bend_8234
Upvotes	18
Comments	22
Date	November 8, 2023 1:20 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/17qa6g7/how_do_i_start_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-do-i-start-dating.1237814 https://theredarchive.com/post/1237814

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