How soon is too soon?

BeginningSomewhere3 · 2019-01-27T22:38:00+00:00

As a veterans wife who also went through this at a young age....it is not necessarily too early. But if I were you I would give it a little time since he is just getting out of training. I got greeted with a completely different person when my now husband came back from an overseas stationing, just a year and half into his service. I don't regret my marriage one bit, but I've met several wives over the years who did because they ended up married to an entirely different man who came back very toxic. Giving him time will allow you to feel out if he may have changed for better or for worse, or if he didn't change much at all. And waiting also gives him somewhat of a breather at what can be a very overwhelming time in his career.

raeonmon · 2019-01-28T03:19:52+00:00

I'm a military wife, we were married at 23, so I understand the thought process and desire. However, I really caution you to hold off. Yes, there are some exceptions where getting married that young works out, but that's not the rule. Wait until he brings marriage up. When he is surrounded by his married coworkers, it will be on his mind more so I'm sure you will have more discussions in the future. You don't currently know how his training is affecting his personality and you are both still very young. You need the time to know how aging will affect you both. Trust me, you don't want to be part of the statistics that a lot of military couples undergo.

LUCKI6BELOW · 2019-01-28T00:23:21+00:00

You are going to spend lots of time apart. It may be difficult depending on your career / schooling to transfer credits as you move through out the years. You must weigh all the conveniences and inconveniences as well & which are more important to you.

teaandtalk · 2019-01-28T01:35:54+00:00

There is a massive personality shift that often happens when a man gets out into the world/has his first real job/is finally finished with school/training. I would never advocate marrying a man before he's been an adult male in the world for at least a few years.

sparkledragon45 · 2019-01-28T03:55:00+00:00

My fiance was a completely different person when he came back from basic training. His priorities and view on life changed, and he was much more serious about our relationship. I've also heard the opposite of that happen when they get back. Just enjoy spending time together when he gets back.

Also just because he's in reserves doesn't mean he won't get deployed. My fiance is reserves and was told he's probably getting deployed this year (only probably because his contract is up shortly into the deployment, so he gets a choice). If you do get married, be prepared for the possibility that he'll be gone for a year. What if you meet someone while he's gone that gets your hamster running? You won't have easy contact with him to calm it down.

Really think hard about marriage. Don't think about it just for the money, it's a lifetime commitment.

loneliness-inc · 2019-01-28T05:09:50+00:00

Men generally do a rational cost/benefit analysis to determine whether something is good to engage in or not. The exception to this is marriage. A man can be easily blinded by love hormones and agree to marriage without a proper cost/benefit analysis. However, if he does this, he may just end up resenting the decision later. Therefore, it's wise to present him with a cost/benefit analysis of why marrying you will make his life better. What will he gain post marriage that he doesn't have now and how all that outweighs the enormous risks for men in modern marriage in the current year.

RubyWooToo · 2019-01-28T17:04:13+00:00

So many new recruits get married right after basic training for the housing and the benefits and then get divorced after a year or so... it's so common that's it's become a stereotype.

Are you currently working or in school?

jjennings089 · 2019-01-28T02:37:50+00:00

I got married at 19... by 28 we were very different people going in very different directions in life. Please, Please don't get married till 25 or so. At 19/21 you can share all the perks of being married; insurance, shared housing without the mental entanglement of being married. Also don't have kids till your 30....

Critical_Stress · 2019-01-28T14:20:44+00:00

My husband and I were with each other for about two years before just getting married when he finished BMT and AIT training. Does your marine have job training when he gets done with basic? Weigh the pros and cons. Mine was gone 8 months for training and there will be more to come. Yours is in the reserves so it will be different for you. There will be times when your apart that you both ask yourself if this is even worth it, and if you don't have a solid answer you won't make it. The statistics aren't in your favor, but it is possible to make it work! How aligned are your religious, political and parental views? Like the other comment said, he is surrounded by married coworkers. It will be on his mind.

megamanxtc · 2019-01-28T01:06:05+00:00

Your are a young woman. Use your pre-wall looks to your advantage. He's 21 and maybe a physical alpha leaving to the armed forces.

You're 19 and may or may not have had many rides on the cc.

Hypergamy. Swing branches.

Enjoy your alpha fux and get your beta bux before you hit the wall.
If he's red pilled, he knows this can and will happen before he leaves. Don't cry for him, post 30, if he has his shit together, he'll have 3 of you or better as plates.

Title	How soon is too soon?
Author	Espressosaur
Upvotes	17
Comments	26
Date	January 27, 2019 9:39 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/akg5yd/how_soon_is_too_soon/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-soon-is-too-soon.217958 https://theredarchive.com/post/217958

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