Hey, all.

I have been deployed since October, and am currently enduring a job in which I am deriving zero satisfaction. My paycheck and realization I am halfway done are what really keep me going instead of quitting and going home.

I am also isolated from my support network, which is primarily made up of my fiancé and friends, thanks to the distance and time difference. Unplugging and engaging in hobbies is also very difficult. I am at work 10-15 hours a day behind a computer, and finish the day with a good gym session and go to bed after emailing my fiance.

Basically, my needs of feeling important are not really being satisfied right now. I then began to rely heavily on my fiancé this past month because work has made me feel worthless. I am used to being recognized and a key member of the team, but my scope at work was deemed a non-priority to the organization for whom I work. I was relegated to be on a daily detail NO ONE wants to do since my input is not a focus. I went through the five stages of grief, and had hopes the new leadership that stepped in two days ago would rotate me out so someone else would share the burden of our office.

No such luck. I found myself back in the grievance cycle and wanting to quit.

Here comes the Instagram post.

My fiancé is friends with a talented rapper, we will call him D. D has been dating a fellow talented singer named F. F is young, European, attractive (judging by her Instagram pictures), and I have never met her. My fiancé has been hanging out with them more often because of his recent move to the city. My fiancé told me D and F started dating while D was still married three years ago, which apparently drove D's ex 'crazy' and she threatened to deport F.

When my fiancé told me this a couple of days ago, I began feeling uncomfortable about her. He was going out that night with other friends to go see F sing. Okay, cool. He told me I would really like her when I meet her. I bit my tongue and did not respond with, you seem to really like her.

I get onto instagram and see that my fiancé posted a video of F and tagged her, basically saying she killed it that night. She responded with thanks and being happy he came to see her sing.

My ego was killed by this. My fiancé only has like 200 or so followers, so I don't see how posting her music effectively promotes her music. She has like thousands of followers but comments on my fiancé’s post.

I told my fiancé about how it upset me because seeing another woman grace his instagram felt like a threat to me. I know there is NO threat of cheating, but it hurt to see another woman sharing my source of self-importance.

My fiancé recognized that he didn't understand, and he wouldn't because he is not me, deployed, and I am not him, back at home.

I don't know, I am bummed I let this bother me and that I could not effectively communicate my feelings to him.

I am staying away from instagram. My fiancé is being his usual awesome self. I feel very petty and insignificant.