I'm emotionally challenged

ObeyTheCowGod · 2017-06-13T01:17:49+00:00

The next time your husband asks you what is bothering you try this response; "I don't know."

isabeavis · 2017-06-13T12:56:51+00:00

This seems like a form of 'fight or flight'. A lot of people with traumatic childhoods have this. Emotions=bad so you just learn to never have emotions. It's a survival mechanism of sorts.

Therapy could help.

I have a narcissistic mother, and honestly, I was like this most of my life. Just... no emotions. When something bothered me, I couldn't even articulate why I was bothered, or really, that I was bothered, or angry, or sad.

It's a process, but I'm getting better now.

scallopkid · 2017-06-13T04:23:24+00:00

Is it possible that you do feel upset but you just don't know why, so you are just subconsciously deciding that you can't really be upset because nothing happened? Sometimes irrational things can make you upset and that's ok. The trick is just to separate "I am upset" from "something needs to be done to fix it." Right now your SO feels like you are hiding yourself from him and shutting him out, but he will probably have a much easier time accepting "Idk I just feel sad today and I don't know why, can I have a hug?" than "nothing's wrong."

LadyHelvetica · 2017-06-13T04:54:05+00:00

You're not crazy. It sounds like you're struggling with emotional vulnerability- which is quite normal. When negative emotions are repressed or denied, it's very common for ALL emotions to be repressed which is where you end up feeling apathetic.

I would suggest watching some of Brene Brown's TedTalks, specifically starting with her one in KC where she talks about the effects of trying to be invulnerable- especially apathy.

I've struggled for years to let people see my emotional state regardless of how intimate our relationship is. It sounds like you may be going through a similar struggle. Listening to Brene's talks and practicing vulnerability has helped me tremendously not only to become a better friend and partner but also to become more feminine and nurturing as I allow myself to be emotionally vulnerable with people.

Maybe this will resonate with you; maybe not. But I really would suggest giving some of her talks a listen if you've ever been one to struggle with having high emotional walls.

CrazyLifeCrazyMind · 2017-06-13T06:14:23+00:00

If you start crying that's probably why he thinks there's something very very wrong.

My boyfriend does this all the time, I randomly sound sad or look sad A LOT but I just smile and tell him nothing's wrong and he drops it.

GratefulWifeandMama · 2017-06-16T21:13:52+00:00

6 years ago I could have written these words. Find a therapist. Read self help and spiritual awareness type books. Introspect. Understand its disrespectful to yourself and your man to not feel or identify your emotions. The past years have not been all easy but I'm at the point where it has paid off and I have unlocked my joy from the fog.

Rivkariver · 2017-06-16T20:17:30+00:00

Honestly, therapy can be really good for naming emotions. Even realizing "I'm bad at identifying emotions" helps.

For example, I am so bad at realizing I miss somebody. When I miss them I think "they abandoned me and are doing things without me and I'm never going to see them again" which means I then get mad at them. It's so unfair and I'm trying to work on just saying "I miss you."

NewMindRedPill · 2017-06-12T23:37:05+00:00

I'd recommend you look into "depersonalization/derealization" which are dissociative disorders. I am not sure if that is what you are dealing with from the brief description but check it out and let me know if the symptoms match. It is what I am dealing with and honestly my captain has been the only one that has helped me snap out of it.

SouthernAthena · 2017-06-13T23:32:31+00:00

I definitely had this problem in the past. You're not crazy, just out of touch with yourself. I'd definitely tell him "I don't know" instead of "nothing." Also I'd suggest taking stock of how you feel maybe 3x a day, without the pressure of having to tell him. Just take note of anything and reflect on what has happened during the day. "I'm annoyed that my coworker didn't do the work she said she would." "I'm tired." "I'm excited to go on vacation!" "I am really really hungry." Pay attention to what you do every day so you can start to connect the dots of "x happened today so I might be feeling sad."

justanotherusername4 · 2017-06-19T09:36:13+00:00

Try journalling and meditation to figure out what you are feeling when.

gloopgloop22 · 2017-06-27T14:34:35+00:00

This is called alexithymia.

Title	I'm emotionally challenged
Author	Apeezy5
Upvotes	16
Comments	32
Date	June 12, 2017 10:45 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/6gvsbf/im_emotionally_challenged/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/im-emotionally-challenged.72966 https://theredarchive.com/post/72966

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