Men are also hypergamous

coffee_walk_paint · 2018-09-17T10:25:06+00:00

I always understood it as:

Women want best quality they can get

Men want as much as they can get

Men want in addition to, women want instead of

Anytime I catch myself struggling with this, or thinking ridiculous stuff such as "he doesn't love me if he still wants to have sex with every gorgeous woman he sees", I stop and tell myself that I'm projecting the way a woman thinks onto a man. That projection DANGEROUS AND STUPID.

hirokinae · 2018-09-17T09:50:56+00:00

First thing's first: What do you define as hypergamy? Because the redpill definition is when one dates or swings to another of a higher class or social standing than themselves.

When men leave their wives or LTR's for another women its usually because the other woman is PHYSICALLY HOTTER. It has ZERO to do with their social or class standing. Its not just younger women, men will leave ugly/fat women for hotter women period; irregardless of any other determining factor. Your first mistake was incorrectly defining hypergamy.

Your second mistake was equating "I see men leaving their girls for other girls" to "men will leave their girlfriends as often as women leave their boyfriends for other people." Women fuck who they want, men fuck who they can. The ugly truth is that women have vastly more options than men when it comes to dating. A result of that is that women are more likely to exercise those options. Hot successful men also have options but its rarer.

Lastly men cheat more out of impulse and lust. A man who cheats is just as likely to go back to his LTR. When women cheat shes usually already emotionally checked out of her current relationship. Women generally tend to look for a better relationship, and will completely drop one guy before moving onto the next. Men just want to bone as many hot girls as they can. They will fuck a hot girl even if there's nothing wrong with his current relationship.

Men being hypergamous would be a guy choosing to date Selena Gomez (who's pretty but not holy shit hot) over a gorgeous 10/10 girl next door. Men generally dont care about a woman's social or class standing.

sonder_one · 2018-09-17T22:26:24+00:00

Men don't give up something that is good. They may leave something because it's not good anymore, or they may try to have two at once, but they don't want to get rid of something that's good. That's good news for women in that if a woman remains good, then her man will want to keep her.

Women have a one-at-a-time wiring that causes them to TRADE for a better model. Men fret about this because they realize that they can be discarded even if they perform well.

LateralThinker13 · 2018-09-17T13:23:15+00:00

From the glossary:

Hypergamy – The instinctual urge for women to seek out the best alpha available. This is marked by maximizing rejection (therefore women are the selective gender). A woman will vet her alpha through various shit tests to ensure his "health" on the alpha scale. She is conditioned to recognize a declining alpha, as hypergamy also tends to continue seeking out higher status males even while with an alpha male. Shit tests allow her to prepare herself for eventually leaving when a new higher status male is found. If the male fails shit tests to a great enough degree, it will effect her feelings for him. He will effectively lower his sexual market value in her eyes. This will enable her to jump to the next male with ease and little remorse.

Hypergamy is when someone jumps to a new relationship not because there's something wrong with the current relationship, but because the new one looks better. Usually caused by her reducing the relationship value by self-sabotaging via shit tests.

That's where men and women differ, and why men as a gender aren't hypergamous. A man who drops his partner for a younger, hotter woman generally does so because his relationship/sexual needs aren't being met. That is to say, the relationship is declining in worth - but men generally don't shit test, so a relationship isn't self-sabotaged by men like it is for women.

Hypergamy is when the relationship is maintaining worth, and the woman (it's usually a woman) branch swings anyways. She has a relationship with a solid 5, treats her with the same care as always, and then a hot 7 moves next door and turns on the charm and then she starts shit-testing her 5 because the 7 treats her so much better...

Pixie0310 · 2018-09-17T09:49:48+00:00

Men are polygamous. If men had the option, they would sleep with any / all women they liked or found attractive.

Men "trade in" or leave their wives because they know their wives would not be okay with this arrangement. Or, the new woman (or women) he wants to sleep with are not okay with this arrangement.

If a man's wife was 100% fine with him sleeping with other people, and she stayed pleasant, loving, and sexually attracted / available to him - while he also could sleep with any other woman he wanted - he wouldn't leave her.

Women, on the other hand, are only really sexually / emotionally attracted to one man at a time. There is no "other man," there is "the new man."

Men, historically, have kept many wives, and harems. Women branch-swing. The driving force behind the behaviours is different.

girlwithabike · 2018-09-17T11:27:53+00:00

Men are not hypergamous. You’ll need to review the definition of that. It’s true that men will trade in their old wife for a younger wife... if the opportunity allows. However, this is not as easy as you think. Most 20 year old women are not looking for 40 year old men unless he’s spectacular. My husband is 20 years older than me and he’s got a lot more to offer, in terms of material wealth and others things than a 20 year old man.

In his circle of friends, it’s also common for the men to trade their old wives in for a hotter, younger chick. However, if you’re looking at the bigger picture, it’s not that easy to get a younger wife “just” because you WANT one.

For most men, having a polygamous life is too expensive, time consuming and complicated.

MoDuReddit · 2018-09-17T08:38:03+00:00

95% of men don't act hypergamously because that's just not a choice available. When you say "men", you are probably only thinking of some men you vetted, forgetting the invisible other 95% which have absolutely no chance to act hypergamously.

810809 · 2018-09-18T06:33:12+00:00

So I will unfortunately repeat a lot of what has been said, but I hope I can add some nuance and detail.

"It's very common to read on reddits relationship forums "My BF of 4 years left me for a hotter girl"." ...when a woman of higher SMV crosses a mans path, his male instinct to conquer her kicks in Well, not sure about that but even if it may be: does not mean it is in reality. Most men (think 80/20 rule) do not have this luxury as an option. Not remembering what the phallacy is called, but just because some men can act like this doesn't mean all men are behaving like that or even can.

...now isn't this hypergamy too? Not really. Male desire for women without limitation presents itself as polyamory, which in itself disqualifies it as hypergamy. Now of course, it does happen that males do indeed trade for better (i.e. younger, hotter and more agreeable). But that is where we come to this important section:

Too often men date a women of lower smv to get their needs met but when a woman of higher SMV comes into the picture You are correct, again for the men that can afford this mostly. But a very important factor is the woman and how naggy and dry (both sexually and socially) she's become.

Now there are those that do indeed do exactly what you said: they trade up. That is NOT because that is their drive: this is a direct reflection of female hypergamy. Hell I won't lie: I have been girls that were not in my league, but better than being lonely. Then yes, if I can get with a nice girl that is lovely and pretty... I'll the dump the old one.

I think women miss a lot of male behavior on the SMP is based on their experience with todays women and unchecked hypergamy and general, pardon the french: bitchy behavior and lack of femininity. There is not a lot of good-will towards women nowadays... you have noticed right?

Title	Men are also hypergamous
Author	leafystone
Upvotes	14
Comments	50
Date	September 17, 2018 8:17 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/9gihw4/men_are_also_hypergamous/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/men-are-also-hypergamous.67624 https://theredarchive.com/post/67624

Comments