Self worth issues

Cardiscappa · 2017-05-27T19:14:25+00:00

Willow-girl · 2017-05-27T19:50:15+00:00

What is your mission in life? How are you making the world a better place or creating something of lasting value? Let that be your metric, not the size of your butt, etc. LOL

kekerae · 2017-05-27T19:04:12+00:00

A lot of those physical things you mentioned aren't worth you stressing about because you cannot change them. As someone who is 5'2" myself, I actually have found that many men like petite women. I don't know a ton of men who are looking for a tall girl unless they are very tall themselves. You mentioned you could stand to lose 10 pounds, put your energy into that then because it's something you can change and that will possibly enhance your looks and health. I don't see why your height has anything to do with looking like a middle school student. If your clothing is age appropriate and you know how to do hair and makeup I doubt you are going to be mistaken for a pre teen. I would also argue against your point that men want women who talk, talk, talk and are aggressive in conversation. I am someone who can talk animatedly for days and I actually try to shut up and reign it in so that my husband can get a word in edgewise and actually listen to me when I have something important to say.

Your boyfriend is already with you so he clearly likes your looks and personality. I'd caution you about complaining about these insecurities in front of him. It can be really off putting to hear your partner put themselves down. It's cliche, but confidence is sexy!

TheLaughingRhino · 2017-05-28T11:05:28+00:00

I once had to give a speech in front of a large crowd. At the time, very young and very nervous. Got a good piece of advice from an older fellow there.

100 years from now, he said, you will be dead. No one will remember you. Everyone you know will be dead. Everyone you cared about will be dead. No one will remember your pain, your shame, your flubs, your mistakes, your regrets. The slate for everyone wipes clean.

When I was overseas, if you gave some villagers a stainless steel cooking pot, and a carbon steel machete, they'd cry and hug you. To them, these were the most precious gifts you could give. To purify their water, to cook, so they could work and have a tool to process the land around them. These were people who had nothing. I realized the things I worried about, they don't really matter that much. I have clean water, a warm bed, I have my health mostly. I'm not under constant threat of death or violence now.

Worries are a luxury. I'm not saying they don't matter, I am saying in the context of your entire life, they don't matter. One day you will die. Your time here is short. Like a blink of an eye. Do you want to spend it stressing out about things you can't control? Or spending it enjoying the blessings you have in this life? Right now, somewhere, there is a person who would kill or die to half of what you have right now.

You only have one obligation in this entire life. To die. Everything else in-between is a choice. Do you want to look back on you entire life and see that this is the choice you made? To let your fear and worries rule you?

None of this around you matters. None of it. You can come to terms with that 40 years from now at the very end. Or you can come to terms with it today.

Waterboo2 · 2017-05-27T21:14:09+00:00

Eh. The taller you are as a woman, the less options of men who are taller than you, so it's really not much of an advantage (unless you're a ten, of course, but that's rare)

Height really doesn't matter much for women. If you're an average height, your height probably isn't going to be an issue. So don't let that be an insecurity.

Maybe the issue is that you look very young and guys assume you are underage? Maybe buying clothes that make you look older would help your confidence. Try dressing in clothes that are a step above casual.

cynicalhousewife · 2017-05-28T20:33:12+00:00

Maybe watch some documentaries on YouTube about people who are far less fortunate than you are. It will make you see that you are just looking for things to be unhappy about and that you are incredibly lucky compared to some people in the world.

sekoiasan · 2017-05-29T09:40:52+00:00

My comments on your points:

1) For what it's worth, in the eyes of men, being shorter is much better than being taller. They want their woman too look weaker than them.

2) Your description of your personality sounds exactly like me. I can never get a word in in larger groups (without accidentally shouting or something). Let me tell you something. The men that you've seen, who love women who talk, are pushy and aggressive, don't see those women as LTR-potential. Yes, they like to hang out with them, maybe treat them as guy friends, and maybe bang them (extroverted girls are naturally easier to game). But it is positively exhausting to be in a ltr with someone who never shuts up. Now don't get me wrong, being talkative is fine. But being pushy, interrupting and not knowing when to shut up are straining traits.

I feel like I won't feel good about myself unless I'm a 10 in everything not just a 7-8 although I realize many average women have loving and happy relationships and live fulfilling lives.

This is like it's coming from my head. I feel you. I've found one thing to really help reduce this hyper self-competitiveness is charity work. You know the saying "To stop worrying about yourself, worry about someone else"? Whenever I volunteer or do something for others, it achieves two things:

I'm immersed in another's life, and thus not thinking about myself at all.
Altruism truly gives a warm, fuzzy, all-encompassing satisfaction.

Gardrothard · 2017-05-28T05:34:05+00:00

I'm insecure, how can I be more comfortable with myself and also be comfortable around other people without feeling like I'm inadequate?

It's not the looks that are the problem, it's the mind.

Here, I look the way you'd want to, 5'9'', hourglass with wide hips and bigger boobs. And you know what, I used to hate it, I even hate the way I look today when I'm supposed to be a grown up. Some days, I feel like my boobs make me look fat, I feel like my height makes me look too masculine and wish I was shorter, on other days, I think I'm not tall enough. It's a real problem finding a guy taller than me with everything else right. Some days, my boobs aren't big enough. On most days, my hips feel huge. My boyfriend is a bit taller, 6', but I have bigger hips than him and I often feel fat. In fact, because of my hips, boobs and height I almost always feel fat, especially around guys who are around my height.

And these are just the things that you'd want. No need to go into other...

With that mindset, you would start to have similar insecurities that I have if you were to wake up with the same body. Because the problem is in the head, not the body.

Title	Self worth issues
Author	sheikha4teddies
Upvotes	6
Comments	34
Date	May 27, 2017 6:48 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/6dpb7r/self_worth_issues/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/self-worth-issues.72880 https://theredarchive.com/post/72880

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