Separate activities with friends

blondie_brownie · 2014-05-30T16:20:22+00:00

Usually, when he has a boy's night, I try to have a girl's night. One of us will stay in the house and one of us will go out. If he's having a boy's right and I don't want to/can't go out, I do my best to stay upstairs and out of the way; he does the same for me.

There are definitely things he does that I don't do and vice versa. He and his best man friend went sky diving actually! The other guy's gf and I both went along and just chatted/clapped/took pictures.

I would probably plan something I knew he'd enjoy for his birthday, then stand back and let it happen/take pictures. Maybe invite the gfs/wives of the other guys going, if your SO seems cool with that.

Droi · 2014-05-30T16:45:56+00:00

Why are you worried about his playtime? If he doesn't want to spend time with his friends so be it.

In any case, I don't think you should set him up with anything. He's a man - he should be able to arrange any kind of activity he wants by himself. The only thing you should do is make it clear that you support him and that you have no problem with him spending time with other people.

sugarcrush · 2014-05-30T17:16:09+00:00

Mine doesn't spend much physical time alone with friends but he plays games over Skype pretty much daily with them. Maybe that's why he doesn't feel the need for boys nights? We like to spend our free time together too, and we both don't care to go "out" meaning bars/clubs except for once in a blue moon, and even then we want to go together to grind all up on each other and then have drunk sex :P

Edit, hit submit too soon! So in conclusion I guess it's not that important for us to have separate time with friends. Sometimes I go out to lunch with a friend while he's at work, and I spend time with my mom and sister pretty regularly but that's the extent of my "girls time out".

Bakerofpie · 2014-05-30T23:21:48+00:00

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Bbyybbbaby · 2014-05-30T22:37:43+00:00

My husband is sort of a homebody but usually will have a night out with the boys. I use that time he is out to make things he is going to love the next morning when he is hungover and not feeling the best. I also use this as self improvement time where I can practice my french or even try and test a new recipe before my husband try's it. I really don't do girls nights as it turns into a bitchfest. The only other female I spend time with is my sister who has the same values.

So I guess what I'm saying in my rambling is encourage him to enjoy his time with the boys, do whatever he needs do to go out with them. Don't feel forced to have a girls night out. Put the free time to good use and I'm sure he will be happy the morning after if you have some delicious hangover food for him.

Bakerofpie · 2014-05-30T16:59:37+00:00

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LadyLumen · 2014-05-30T17:39:47+00:00

I enjoy having time to hang out with just my girlfriends. It's definitely a different kind of vibe when the dudes aren't around. We like to eat out at a nice restaurant or go for a walk in the park.

Maybe you could go and take pictures of your husband skydiving without actually doing it. That way you could be there for moral support, but not actually have to participate.

anything2x · 2014-05-30T19:21:22+00:00

I have my own activities; rehearsing in a band, league night, or sometimes catching a game at a bar that doesn't include my SO. When we do some things together it's mostly as a family unless we can get a sitter. We do the couples double date thing every now and then and I encourage her often to hang out with her friends as well. The last part is because my solo activities are fairly frequent and scheduled. She's more spontaneous so I don't mind last minute 'you've got the kids I'll see you later' moments.

What's funny is many of our friends will say to us (on our respective nights out), 'how do you get away with going out so much?' Well, for starters, I'm not 'getting away' with anything. We both like that we can do our own thing and still do things with each other without feeling like we have to do something we don't enjoy doing.

KyfhoMyoba · 2014-06-01T23:08:44+00:00

Slightly off topic, but is it me, or are most boys nights 'out' consist of any number of activities; playing sports, watching sports, eating, working on a project, and of course time at a bar, not so often time at a club. Whereas when I hear of GNOs, it usually seems to be going to a club. (COUGH! attention whores COUGH! COUGH!)

Am I waaaay off? I realize that the audience of RPW is a little different than the typical western female, but any insight would be appreciated.

eatplaycrush · 2014-05-30T17:48:38+00:00

The only time I am alone doing an unrelated business activity is if I am with my parents/family. Otherwise, we do everything together as that is the way he prefers it. His friends know that if he is going somewhere then I'll be there too. It's just the way he is. Of course there's activities that he may not want to do with me or I may not want to do with him, but those are the times we say "I'll be here for x amount of time then we will do something together." If I want to go get a facial or a mani/pedi he isn't going to be down to get spa services for a few hours where as if he wants to go ice fishing for the 20000th time I don't want to go. If he doesn't have an issue with it then I don't either. I always do his hobbies or activities with him though so it's very rare for me to say no thanks as any time I can snag of his is really what I'm after.

HappySnowGirl · 2014-05-30T18:20:16+00:00

My husband does happy hour with work people about once a month and does a boys' weekend about once a year with high school friends, but other than that we do a lot of couples/family activities together.

Since becoming RP-aware I've tried to encourage him to do more things with his friends, but he kind of shrugs and agrees, but keeps to business as usual. I feel in the past I've been unconsciously unsupportive of his guy activities, not because I need to be with him every second or am possessive of his time and attention, but by the end of the day or week I just need some adult interaction (or interaction with anyone over the age of 5 - in real life, not online or via text). I'm definitely working on that but he seems pretty content with life as it is.

He does spend a fair amount of time conditioning for races (he's a runner) and working in his downstairs "lab" (really just a man cave but he has all sorts of tech hobbies). That is guy time, I suppose, but of the solitary sort. I'm in a different position though, since we have kids, they either come along when we do stuff, or one of us stays home with them, or we have to get a sitter. We don't have family nearby, our friends mostly have kids of their own to worry about, and sitters get expensive as we have more kids.

a_killa_kitty · 2014-05-31T05:08:15+00:00

We rarely do things with out each other. Sometimes he does things with his brother but normally after work or weekends we do family things. I love it. He enjoys my company. Heck even if he's working in the garage he likes me out there with him. I think his love language is quality time. He even waits for me to run to the store.

Honestly, If he wanted to go out without me I'm sure my feelings would be hurt because I'm so use to him taking me a long all the time. I wouldn't say anything. He's free to go out if he wanted to. He makes the plans. I just actually think he likes me.

Title	Separate activities with friends
Author	Bakerofpie
Upvotes	11
Comments	33
Date	May 30, 2014 3:48 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/26vs80/separate_activities_with_friends/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/separate-activities-with-friends.84546 https://theredarchive.com/post/84546

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