Talking to first red pill guy

Jenneapolis · 2024-01-04T16:03:59+00:00

Begin to read through the wiki and some of the books recommended. Be advised that the advice here is not how to be good for just a red pill man, but any man. I agree with the other poster to focus on vetting and we have some good posts on that as well. Essentially I would pull the focus away from if he is “red pill” or not and instead focus on what kind of relationship you want and if your goals align. You should not just be focused on doing what he wants but determining if you want him as well. Sometimes all of these labels really confuse things.

murder_herder · 2024-01-04T15:33:00+00:00

You’ve only known him a few weeks you need to fully vet this man.

Usually RPW advise against “red pilled” guys as their community has become so large it’s lost a lot of the initial nuance. I’d encourage you to read this subs Wiki before jumping into anything. Andrew Tate might make a few good points but much like Pearl Davies (it’s justpearlythings) they themselves don’t practice what they preach.

What is your understanding of a redpill relationship? What is his?

PretendSandwich9280 · 2024-01-04T15:38:37+00:00

I think it would be really important for you to have a conversation about values regarding having children and when, pro life vs pro choice, can the woman work from his POV, do you want to be a stay at home wife/mom, how does he look at monogamy, education for kids, etc. It can really be a fun and deep conversation, but this is something I wouldn't wait to do. You have to know if you align.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2024-01-04T19:47:13+00:00

I messed up big time bringing up my guy friends

Not really. You're just into him and are over-reacting to thinking you messed up. If it comes up again, simply point out that you have social contact with other people some of whom happen to be male, and you are perfectly capable of maintaining appropriate boundaries, i.e. when you are in a relationship, you know the difference between your boyfriend and boys who are friends.

The reason that guys are always a bit suspicious about guy friends it that basically every girl has at least that ONE GUY (often more) who is blatantly, obviously, 100% trying to bang her, which she either (a) knows and doesn't care about bc he's not getting anywhere or (b) is in complete DENIAL about <==This one makes us NUTS, btw, in the bad way. Denial happens because she had Frienzoned the guy and doesn't want to have to deal with rejecting him and hurting his feels or whatever. That gets problematic where she puts "not hurting Poindexter's feels" ahead of behaving properly for her bf.

How you manage these situations may vary. Different women draw the line at different points which doesn't make one method right and another one wrong. Ex. A girl I date will not dance with other men at social events, period, full stop, the end. This is not because I will get upset (although she is cognizant of being a 'good girl') but because, as she put it, "I don't want another man's hands on me." Now, this is not smth I require, but I can't say it didn't make me feel good. Another girl might dance with guys we both know, who are "known good guys." That's fine so long as he keeps his hands out of the "Boyfriend Only" zones.

it was immediately clear to me he’s definitely an Andrew Tate mentality red pill guy.

EDIT: I see that you mentioned in a reply that he did not bring up Tate.

Some "red pill" guys are simply guys who want traditional or at least "male led" relationships.

Jewelry_lover · 2024-01-04T17:08:22+00:00

Being an Andrew Tate guy is a red flag imo

StVirgin · 2024-01-04T23:03:44+00:00

Is he the generous sugar daddy from your comments a month ago? Are you trying to shift the relationship dynamic to a different one?

If he's not the sugar daddy, then does your guy know / do you consider the SD a "friend" too?

tinerene · 2024-01-05T04:36:43+00:00

This reads to me you want to pretend to be someone you’re not

Unusual-Jellyfish-54 · 2024-01-04T15:21:39+00:00

Sorry because you said it was no problem for you but imo being into Andrew Tate is the only actual red flag here...

Consistent-Dig4131 · 2024-01-04T17:38:32+00:00

The truth is Andrew Tate is popular whether the subreddit likes him or not. He talks in a way that resonates with a lot of men. That being said, because he is popular there are many different types of people that “like” him. Also, liking him on a surface based level doesn’t mean you share his beliefs. You can’t read too much into it. Ask questions that clarify his beliefs.

DolanDucc69 · 2024-01-04T16:04:14+00:00

provide reassurance, celebrate him, make him feel like there’s no other guys in your life. it’s more with your actions than your words. no girls nights or girls trips, no one on one time with “guy friends” and don’t you dare talk badly about your exes if at all.

AutoModerator · 2024-01-04T15:11:06+00:00

Title: Talking to first red pill guy

Author CranberryElegant8675

Full text: Hey just looking for some advice. I met an amazing guy a few weeks ago in like somewhere he struck up conversation and we ended up exchanging phone numbers. The first time we hung out after that I actually met his parents and some family friends. We spent like 10 hours together and then he asked me to spend NYE with he and his friends the next day. So far things going well until I was with him yesterday and mentioned something about my guy friends and he started talking about how that’s a red flag and all this. We had a really long 4 hour conversation about relationships and it was immediately clear to me he’s definitely an Andrew Tate mentality red pill guy. Which I’m completely fine with honestly but I feel like I messed up big time bringing up my guy friends and need some tips on how to show him I can be the red pill girl he wants. He is a gentleman has a good job and we are so similar on so many levels I could really see my self marrying this person and don’t want to mess it up. Just please any advice would be helpful

^{This is the original text of the post and this is an automated service}

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 2024-01-04T15:11:06+00:00

Thank you for posting to RPW. Here are a couple reminders:

If you are seeking relationship advice. Make sure you are answering the guidelines for asking for advice on the rules page
Do not delete your post once you have your answers. Others may have the same question!
You must participate in your own post. If you put up a post and disapear, it will be removed.
We are not here for non-participants to study us. If you are writing a paper or just curious, read our sidebar and wiki and old posts.
Men are not allowed to ask questions and generally discouraged from participating unless they are older, partnered and have Red Pill experience.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Title	Talking to first red pill guy
Author	CranberryElegant8675
Upvotes	0
Comments	37
Date	January 4, 2024 3:11 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/18yfdhy/talking_to_first_red_pill_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/talking-to-first-red-pill-guy.1242228 https://theredarchive.com/post/1242228

Comments