The time commitment involved in finding a LTR?

AboveZoom · 2016-10-28T21:07:19+00:00

I can tell how much you love and respect yourself by your commitment in keeping your grades and hobbies up to par. The dating pool can seem to decline drastically outside of uni, unfortunately. After college, dating men at work is usually super risky and I would not recommend it, especially if you see them every day. But a decent number of women do meet their partners at work --- the successful ones taking their precautions and gut feelings as seriously as possible, and analyzing this risk forefront in their minds. I'm still not a huge fan of dating a co-worker. The chances of it not working out are much greater than it working out positively, and in turn this would compromise the quality of your work.

Dating in uni is less work initially upfront because of how conglomerated your male cohorts are. Aspects of these men worth vetting can seem more apparent, too. Dating after uni means you would need to put in more effort to position yourself in circumstances to meet the right man for you.

I met my husband in college because we were involved in the same clubs, and it seemed almost effortless because of this.

TheRedStoic · 2016-10-30T02:24:24+00:00

Find the time now.

It's harsh, but the best captain's will start cutting you out based on age when you're older, specifically captain's who want children.

If you're fourth year, probably 22 or 23? Find your captain by 26, maybe 28, wall is 30. Do yourself the favor of putting in the effort now while you're prime material. (Considering everything you've posted on this thread you're definitely prime to plenty of captain's who are looking to build an ltr)

That age number will only begin to hurt you, not help you. Such is life. Make the time.

For the sake of transparency, I've watched plenty of my red circle Deny great girls because they were slightly too old. They don't want the kids at 18 with a wife whose 50.

Mentathiel · 2016-10-28T22:25:25+00:00

I'm studying IT and am in a LTR and while it can be tough to balance at times and you might yearn for more time with your SO, it actually pays off decently. You're more emotionally stable because you have a constant socialization source (I don't know about you, but my closest friends aren't in the same college as me and we don't get to talk much, let alone see each other these days and I understand neither parties are as invested as a romantic partner in communicating constantly) and it keeps you working at things and organizing time at least a bit better to make time for them, instead of lazing off.

Dating, on the other hand... I don't know. I've kind of always had relationships come to me naturally, I didn't have to explicitly look and the two "dates" I've been on have pretty much been "let's get this over with and get together" dates, rather than the vetting process happening with a total stranger and having no clue how will they end. On the other hand, if you're not thing lucky, I imagine it can be an exhausting process, especially if you keep getting disappointed. Especially since you seem introverted and it seems like this kinda thing would especially drain you.

I suppose my best advice would be to meet people at college and whatever activities you partake in (provided they're social) and keep your eyes peeled. You should at least have a connected friends group from college. Not only can you meet a lot of people through them, like their future co-workers etc, but it's useful to be connected with a lot of people in the same field, you can recommend each other for positions or be the connection between two companies, if they're small enough for you guys to be relevant.

rpwthrowaway2016 · 2016-10-29T18:16:09+00:00

If you do online dating and arrange a date once a week, it'll only be 2-3 hours per week. You'll be eating lunch or dinner anyway, so you could use that time to go out.

TheThingsIThink · 2016-10-29T05:09:20+00:00

on one hand, this is one of the best times to find a person. Your surrounded by a lot of great prospects and getting in on the ground floor would be a great opportunity.

On the other hand, there is your time involved and whether or not their wants are congruent with theirs. If the guy is looking for a house wife and you don't want to be one then heartbreak. If he's just looking to bang through college then heartbreak, if you take positions in other cities then heartbreak.

My advise would be open but don't forget the mission

dottywine · 2016-11-18T20:21:14+00:00

Looking for LTR didn't take too much of my time until I found a guy/guys I needed to vet out. Then it took some time that simply required good time management and letting them know "Hey, I only have X amount of time". Once I fell for a guy, the time commitment was ridiculous because I was infatuated. Yes, some aspects of my hustle started to fall way behind.

So it's just up to you. I, personally, find it better to focus on studies and not seek or spend a lot of time with men or have it be very casual (and if they desire more, just tell them you're not into that). School is much harder for me when there's too much fluctuating, unstable romance going on.

Willow-girl · 2016-10-30T14:10:28+00:00

How emotionally grounded are you? Do you have a circle of good, supportive girlfriends?

The thing about venturing into the sea of love is that you can get your heart broken. You can find a man that you feel is perfect, but it turns out he's not attracted to you in the same way. That's the risk you take when you play the game! So think about how you would cope with rejection, and whether the emotional storms would impair your ability to function in other areas of life.

One way to guard yourself against the danger is to date casually but don't get too invested, at least not right away. Once you sleep with someone, it will be more painful if the relationship doesn't pan out.

sekoiasan · 2016-11-27T15:02:36+00:00

Can I ask you, how come you're already in the 4th year at uni, yet you're only twenty? Are you a genius?

En-Zu · 2016-10-28T21:55:07+00:00

How attractive are you? If you are just go swiping on tinder and go out with some nerdy lookin dudes and get a couple dinners paid for.

Title	The time commitment involved in finding a LTR?
Author	womanandwolf
Upvotes	13
Comments	19
Date	October 28, 2016 6:42 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/59w5mv/the_time_commitment_involved_in_finding_a_ltr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/the-time-commitment-involved-in-finding-a-ltr.86594 https://theredarchive.com/post/86594

Comments