Trust issues ruining my marriage

SeaMuted9754 · 2026-03-11T17:15:24+00:00

My advice as someone who went through a similar situation is to first get healthy. Doctor appointments (generally, gyno, dermatologist, dentist, etc..). Work out wherever you can use your kids as weights if needed they love it (perfect kettle bells). Try your best to get clothes that make you feel confident if you can. I know this can be hard for sahm if they don’t have nice husbands or money in general because one income.

Then think about getting into a career. Start working because your husband is not showing you safety right now and he’s free to divorce you. Unless you have your own investment account separate from the marriage property that is entirely yours I would strongly suggest getting back into a job part time. He’s not giving security from your post.

Third start talking to him don’t let him think it’s fine. The number one thing people say a marriage needs is communication. You are constantly blaming him saying he’s ruining the marriage but you are too, you’re not innocent just because you’re holding on to resentment. Resentment kills more marriages than anything else so if you want to stay married you should be doing everything in your power to find what you need to get rid of that resentment. Say how you feel. If you don’t know how you feel look up the wheel of emotions and try again.

TheFeminineFrame · 2026-03-11T15:10:18+00:00

Therapy might be beneficial for you. Consider individual therapy to focus on healing and your own feelings of insecurity.

Work on your own to fix things you are insecure about yourself. Don’t go into this to try fix him, but to get closer to your ideal self.

Be sure to make time for your hobbies and friendships.

If you two are at a place where you are trying to reconnect don’t bring up your insecurities, on say, a date. If you are struggling emotionally bring it up first with a therapist, in a support group, in a journal, etc. Wait until you have a little clarity about what is actually bothering you. Then if you still feel the situation bears a conversation, bring it up at home when things aren’t crazy, rather than when you are specifically trying to have lighthearted connection.

The trust is something that is rebuilt slowly. Time will reveal if he is truly dedicated or if he is just feeding you pretty words. You don’t need to obsess over this.

His job is to commit to the boundaries you have set together. Your job is to work on the emotional damage you have experienced. This way, if he is really trying you will be able to recognize it and can move past it without all the emotional cloudiness. If he isn’t willing or able to commit to the relationship you will also be able to better recognize the situation and can make a more rational decision about what you want to do.

markarli · 2026-03-11T20:29:02+00:00

I do not mean to put you in a difficult and awkward spot but you have to give a hint at least about the kind of trust issues, because as you can understand, people’s input is going to be in accordance with the issue that has been driving the wedge in your marriage. If you want us to give honest, straightforward advice, I personally need some clue over it. Some things are the kiss of death in relationships and some can be worked with proper communication.

penny_67_ · 2026-03-11T15:05:22+00:00

First of all it feels like you don’t talk to him enough, tell him about your worries and lack of trust, not reddit. Also, be ready for all the « leave him » comments even tho its a Redpillwomen space. You have to address the issue before doing something impulsive. And we know how men are in this space they arent wired like us and have different needs/wants BUT id encourage you to look inwards bc you are clearly insinuating that you think he is cheating or something in that manner. Did something change with your physique/diet, are you still all over him like before or are you more distant and live like colocs, are you nagging a lot..anyways uncomfortable questions to ask yourself bc sometimes for the sake of the marriage. Good luck

AutoModerator · 2026-03-11T14:23:08+00:00

Title: Trust issues ruining my marriage

Author _blushpink

Full text: I feel like I’m losing my mind. My (34F) husband (37M) and I have had trust issues for over a year now due to him hiding some things, lying right to my face about it and trying to convince me I was crazy for thinking anything.

Ever since then, it’s like a switch was flipped. I had full, unwavering trust in this man and never thought he would do anything to hurt me in that way or lie to me. I thought the world of him. Now, all I feel is resentment and paranoia and it’s eating me from the inside out.

Now, I always assume he’s hiding things. Any small discrepancy in a story or his day makes me spiral. Him forgetting to wear his wedding ring, especially on days that he’s working with women makes me spiral. I’ve never been this type of person, and I don’t want to be but I can’t stop.

It’s secretly ruining my marriage. My husband thinks everything is fine, because I act fine while I’m seething inside, thinking he’s lying about something. But I’m constantly feeling so many negative emotions towards him and find myself withdrawing emotionally from the marriage more and more everyday. I’m a stay at home mom and I’m constantly going over in my head what my plan will be if I have to end our marriage if I find out he’s lying to me about something.

I can’t talk to him about it because he thinks I’m just being unreasonable and that the past is in the past. I do understand that it’s not fair for me to keep holding this against him, which is why I act like everything’s fine. But everything is so far from fine.

I don’t know what to do. How do I get over this?

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Mom_Herself · 2026-03-13T00:34:19+00:00

If he lied to your face, you have a right to not trust him. Own that right.

Dance-Bird · 2026-03-18T04:36:37+00:00

Perhaps your intuition is telling you something. My marriage ended due to my husband’s affair. I never even suspected, nor thought him capable of it. I think you should try to confirm that when he forgets to wear his ring, there isn’t an actual reason. And try to think through your options for income and housing. But it may be nothing… just keep an open mind and independently verify his whereabouts.

Dionne005 · 2026-03-11T16:01:23+00:00

You need to get dressed and go out without the kids by yourself and see what he says

Title	Trust issues ruining my marriage
Author	_blushpink
Upvotes	14
Comments	17
Date	March 11, 2026 2:23 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1rqv58d/trust_issues_ruining_my_marriage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/trust-issues-ruining-my-marriage.1575232 https://theredarchive.com/post/1575232

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