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So, tonight I told my boyfriend that I was going to friend his friend on Facebook in an effort to get to know her better. I did a lot of thinking and decided that perhaps my issues with her (past chat content aside) stemmed from not knowing anything about her. He seemed surprised. I explained to him that since she obviously is someone he wants to continue being friends with despite my obvious discomfort in her that I would like to get to know her better if she's going to be around in his life. He agreed but seemed confused, since I've made my dislike of her apparent in the past. We discussed it further and I explained that I feel like it's inappropriate that she is contacting him so much if they're no longer roleplaying together. He then told me that he absolutely has not continued roleplaying with her and tells her he's busy or doesn't feel like it when she asks.

I told him that perhaps part of the problem is that she doesn't understand that that aspect of their relationship is over since he's never told her outright. He immediately jumped on Snapchat and sent her a message telling her that they would no longer be sexual roleplaying, making sure she was aware. Well, after this, her character certainly spoke for itself.

She jumped right into gaslighting me, telling him that I'm controlling, that she thinks me asking that of him is abusive and crazy and that he shouldn't be listening to me, that it's just "fiction". He stood solid on it, explaining that he loves me and would never do anything knowingly that would make me unhappy, that he had a choice and chose this, that he understands my POV because he would be upset if I was chatting like that with my male friends. She kept saying "I understand but idk man."

He then made a comment thanking her for understanding and reiterating that he is still her friend and saying "I mean, our friendship isn't just based on sexual roleplay, right?" to which she responded with "Exactly lol" which he read as being passive aggressive.

Anyway, he's been upfront with her about it so she will hopefully stop contacting him and he's had a good view of what kind of person she really is. He seemed very disturbed that she would immediately jump to crying that I'm abusive and controlling as soon as she has been told officially that that aspect of their relationship is over.

I'm glad he heard my issue, that I was trying to find a way to (nicely) deal with it by befriending her and took the straight on route to straightening the record with her out. However, I don't think she'll take too kindly to a Facebook friend request now!