2 Months of Mental Hell

waywardwinds · 2017-12-21T18:39:37+00:00

Read the entire sidebar, now.

Sonorational · 2017-12-21T18:59:41+00:00

Ok, some insight for you:

1.Iron Rule of Tomassi: Never ever reveal the number of women you have been with. You'll get it after you read the sidebar 2.The disease you just got is called "oneitis". That means you would do anything to get her like you, think about her all day. 3.Good advice: Put yourself and your mission first. Don't make pussy your mission. Improve yourself. You cannot make her love you, but you can become someone, she is attracted to. 4.A guy is attractive, who has options. Spin plates. Be always ready to walk away, that's how you control the relationship. If you need her less than she needs you, she will be the one chasing you.

That's just some material from the sidebar, read it for more of this stuff.

blasted_biscuits · 2017-12-21T20:16:03+00:00

Oneitis is cancer, it eats you up inside. Realize that it is not her that you want but the IDEA of her. This girl has flooded you with chemicals that make you think you're in love. It's all just a biological response, compounded by the fact that it's your first. You need to get angry with yourself and face the facts that she is using you. Every guy on this board has gone through something similar. The best thing you can do is to cut off all contact with her. It's difficult and you will think about her constantly but the less you interact with her, the easier it gets. Stop looking at her social media, that is just burning her into your mind. She will never be what you want her to be. Look up youtube videos about oneitis and take comfort in the fact that this is something all of us experience and is an important life lesson for when you meet a new girl, which you will, and make sure you don't make the same mistakes. Don't give her so much power. She is not that special. Build a life that makes you the prize. She sounds manipulative. My guess is once you distance yourself from her and start focusing on you she will come back around because she misses the attention and gifts you showered her with. If you're smart, you'll ghost her for good and move on. Nothing good can come from having her in your life at this point. You're addicted to the chemicals she provides, like a heroin junkie. She will only bring you misery in the form of flattery and dopamine. Ghost her and don't look back.

Based_Otter · 2017-12-21T21:54:48+00:00

1, Get back in the gym now and hit those compound lifts/high intensity cardio. This will drastically reduce your stress and bring more mental clarity. 2, Block her on everything,it will be hard but you are questioning every thing she says to you and it is emotionally fucking you up. 3, Use your free time to fully read the sidebar and the three books on stoic philosophy (meditations,Discourses and letters from a stoic) 4, You are still a virgin and thus have a lot of confused notions of what sex entails and how magical it is. My advice is to get a prostitute and lose it as soon as possible. You will save yourself a lot of mental anguish.

This should get you started. Good luck brother!

teclado_sw · 2017-12-21T20:13:18+00:00

Wow, you sound like a slightly younger version of me. I've recently discovered TRP as well. I'm 31 and have never dated, never drank alcohol, never used drugs. As such, I've always avoided the bars/clubs and I think I understand what you mean when you call those places a "black hole" - I feel that way too; kind of a depressing atmosphere. I have also recently fallen quite hard for a girl and am struggling to get over her as we speak. I guess it's called oneitis. I've got it bad. So I think you and I can relate extremely well. Even worse, she and I never dated/kissed/anything, but somehow I still fell for her super hard...go ahead and laugh at me haha.

Anyway, I think the biggest thing that I learned is that I really need to guard my emotions a lot better. I allowed myself to become attached way too easily. Once you get too attached, the emotions are extreme and very painful to let go of. I know that doesn't help you right now, but in the future, you can protect yourself better by not allowing yourself to become so attached with someone that you have only gone on a few dates with. There's no commitment at that point, so you are only opening up yourself for a world of pain.

So with your situation, you think she might be seeing somebody else. She very well may be doing that. But you can't let that bother you because you two were never official or exclusive in the first place. She is well within her rights to date around, and so are you. There should be no hard feelings there. She's not doing anything wrong. The problem here is that you allowed yourself to get too attached. I can certainly relate...us older dudes who have not had (m)any suitors probably tend to do that. She cannot be your center, your world/existence. You have to let go of that and try to back off a bit, focus on yourself. I know it seems impossible, but it's basically like a drug addiction. You can't keep taking hits of her and expect to settle down. To have any chance with her, you have to back off a bit.

Anyway, I hope the consolation from an even older guy like you helps a little bit. I know how you feel.

Liquor_and_Whores- · 2017-12-21T19:23:40+00:00

I don't think dating someone or being in a relationship is going to do you much good from reading your post I think you might need to sort yourself out first.

Auvergnat · 2017-12-21T21:54:38+00:00

Many of us here have been there. It gets better. Much much better, if you follow these three steps:

Read the sidebar and/or these suggested books
If you are not lifting yet, get to the gym, talk to a personal trainer, establish a muscle-building program with him, and follow it religiously. Trust us, it'll make sense later as you learn more and you'll wish you had started lifting earlier.
Post your questions on the asktrp sub.

TonyZ554 · 2017-12-21T20:47:44+00:00

Fucking another dude is not doing things “the right way”. Ghost her and read the sidebar. Can I just ask you why you have oneitis for a girl who doesn’t treat you all that well anyway? All it does it show you view yourself as low value and it communicates that to your bumble hoe as well.

CrimsonMoonz · 2017-12-22T17:10:46+00:00

I know how you feel. This was me about 6 months ago or so. An HB9 reached out to me after I got some minor celebrity cred on YouTube. This started about 20 months ago. For a while, I held frame, kept it at a brother-sister type relationship, and she would shower me with attention that I always wanted. Mind you, I did not have the best luck with women as I was too anxious around the ones I fancied, and so this was a godsend.

The main reason why we became so connected was because I identified her deepest and darkest secrets upon the first day we connected. She confessed love to me first, and that was where all this shit happened next.

I started to become addicted to her attention. Snapchat was our main method of communication, and so I would be excited when I received something from her, but disappointed when it was from someone else. It was like Snapchat only made me happy if it was with her. This is exactly why you need to have your own interests that are separate from her.

She started seeing other people and it hurt my heart. It was because I had expectations. Do not have expectations because the excitement from anticipation is terribly toxic for your mental health. Disappointment only hurts yourself.

For a while, I was lost in the dark because I was feeling as if I was in love with someone who only said she loved me. But that was when I came to the conclusion that the red pill was right all along. My heart wanted to find an exception, a unicorn. I placed high value in relationships and sex, which led to my increasingly high standard for whom I would consider dating. But it also led to a lower number of dates overall.

So what did I do? I kept thinking and thinking (hamstering) about her. I felt righteous anger and that she should feel guilty for her behavior (acting cold, distant, and unavailable). The main problem was that I wanted her to reciprocate my romantic gestures. Do not do this. You're setting yourself up for failure. After a while, my obsession turned into mania, which was very disruptive for my own productivity. Life felt bleak and I was constantly under stress.

Then something happened.

I cut her off from my life. She would always ask me for advice and I would give it to her (emotional tampon). One day, she asked me for help with one of her best friends because they got into an argument. She showed me screenshots of their messages. The gist of the conflict was that she has an ugly friend who now has a boyfriend. The ugly friend prioritizes spending time with her new boyfriend over this HB9. And so, they get into an argument. But the ugly friend is finally getting male attention that had consistently been directed towards this HB9. The third wheel was fed up. At this point, having understood the situation, I told the HB9 my brutally honest opinion. Originally, I would cater my words to focus on making her feel better. Now, I just did not give a single fuck and told her the hard truth about the curse of her beauty. That she secretly enjoys the male attention being directed towards her, while her ugly friend is left with pain. She called me a fucktard and to never message me again. This had never happened before, and so what did I do? Did I grovel and sulk? Did I apologize and try to make amends? Hah.

No.

"Whatever makes you happy."

Those were the last words I sent to her on Snapchat. She messaged me a few times since then, and also checks out my stories. I'm constantly improving myself and I am so glad that I don't have the unbearable stress of trying to keep her in my life anymore. Seriously, I'm waking up with happiness in my heart because she is no longer the first thing I think about when I rise in the morning.

She sent me a handwritten letter. Two, in fact. These are all just words under the guise of action. She sent me an embarrassing picture of herself in 4th grade when she was younger to try to appeal to my heart. I dished that shit right back to her by sending her a picture of myself in 4th grade, coincidentally with the same smile as hers. It kinda hurts that we couldn't continue with our relationship, even though I know she wants me back. But I need to do what is best for me, and no longer will I place a girl over myself.

All you have to do is this: lift. You start lifting because it is guaranteed growth in one aspect of your human existence (physical). The others are spiritual and mental growth. This is done with meditation and reading. Read the sidebar and meditate on what you have learned. I suggest The Manipulated Man to start. Read the whole thing.

Take these words to heart, for you are not alone my friend. The pain and suffering that we both have endured comes from a place of goodwill and kindness. But it was crushed in front of our eyes and betrayed our desires. So become better than you are now, because nothing is more satisfying to a female ego than seeing someone else in an emotional wreck because they had personal responsibility for it. It's power to them and they feel powerful, even though they are pretty powerless. It's like getting away with a lie.

Females rely on plausible deniability to get what they want.

Males rely on truth, wisdom, and sacrifice to get what they want.

Enough rationalizing. It will serve you no good, because the only response you will receive from them is how they feel. Once you understand this, you'll realize how much happier you can feel yourself when you no longer choose to play their game. So go on and take the first step.

Lift

Futon_Rasenshuriken · 2017-12-21T19:08:50+00:00

Welcome, you should check out the sidebar and the entire subreddit from past posts.

I used to be in similar shoes three years ago right after High school. Sounds like a bad case of Oneitis. Also, she's thrown you in the beta box.

All you have to do is talk to other women to cure it. Easier said than done, but doing so will make you less prone to getting it again. Since you don't like overly crowded places with loud music like I do, try to meet women at more closed off places.

Now, here are some mistakes you made with Mary that I made myself back then with one girl.

Mistake 1: Talking almost everyday Definitely something you don't want to do. She wanted a lover and not a friend. It's a form of pedestalizing a woman to make her think she's above you. Women almost always go for a man she believes is higher valued than her. If you're doing this everyday, she'll think your priorities are less important than she is.

Mistake 2: Getting personal This ties into the friend vs lover thing. The more you tell her about yourself, the less mystery there is to you. Women want a mysterious guy because they want what they can't have which is why you need a proper balance of the "push/pull" maneuver. That's definitely something to learn here.

Mistake 3: Telling her about being a virgin, not being in a relationship, etc

Women are more attracted to a guy when he has a history of past women with interest in him because it means he has something desirable to a woman. By telling her these things, she probably sees you as a lower valued man.

Red Flag: Recent breakup The moment she said she had a breakup and how much of a douche" her previous boyfriend was is when you should raise an eyebrow. Once more when she says that she conveniently wants to do things "the right way."

Biggest Mistake: General Pedestalization What has she done for you? It seems like you're doing way more for her than she is for you. Just like the previous mistakes, this drops point in SMV for her as she once again is given the mentality that she's above you. She stopped talking with you because you were too friendly with her. It got to the point where she simply sees you as a provider for entertainment while she uses "social media guy" for rough sex.

The more you read here and experience things yourself is when you realize you've been fed lies on how women operate by media and even your own friends/family.

avocadowithsalt123 · 2017-12-21T22:18:49+00:00

Frustrated, anxious, lost...look, I hope you read my post.

If you are all that because of anyone, ever, not ot mention some bitch you just met, you are an empath. Although definitely not qualified to say that, I will grant myself this right. It is obvious that you have abandonment issues and fears. You may think you are going through hard times, but trust me, pain and failure will help you to do what you have to do..face your fears and dissolve your personality, which is 99% pathological and far from your true self.

Empath is NOT a good thing, check what does it means, it does not mean a good person, it means someone who is crippled with fears. How I know this? Well I was an empath. I had such a strong fear of being abandoned that break ups turned and destroyed my current life, many times.

Finally, at age of 29, I had a relationship with narcisstic / borderline bitch (narc - empath, old couple) which aimed to leave me in the most possible way for an empath, using classic devalue / splitting circle. I begged for 3 months, she left me without reasons and contacts, I was tempted to stalk, I lost some of my hair, was not close from seeing a therapist. I was fucked up for another 3, and took me at least another three to completely heal..but to my true self..for every fear I have had in that time, is gone. She made me confront my fears and when I did what empaths usually do (beg, stalk, and so on) to heal, she denied, I had no other option then to change.

Thanks to God I met her, for she set me free of pain and delusions that I KNOW you are going through, I am not sure if red pill will help you, this problem goes deeper. I am not ashamed to say that being an empath is serious and crippling problem.

And what she did to me? Well basically nothing, she left, that is it. Healthy person won't even react too much. For me it was mental hell which can not be described. From ripped beast with excellent job and life prospects, no alcohol, I went to fat jobless alcoholic in a month. Yes, it can be that bad. Listen to me and inform yourself.

I hope someone answer with more qualified answer.

How old are you?

MattyAnon · 2017-12-22T16:06:34+00:00

Op.... as everyone says, read sidebar.

next: take it slow means "I see you as a beta provider"

last: never ever make ANYONE ELSE responsible for your happiness.

fshfrr · 2017-12-21T19:36:52+00:00

A great tip for dealing with anxiety- Ask yourself, will overthinking and worrying about it change anything? If you can't change anything by worrying about it, why worry at all? Sounds very basic but that simple process helped me out massively. Also, it seems quite a basic problem with her, she most likely got bored as you revealed so much. Just ignore her, try and go on some more dates, maybe she'll hit you up at some point once you start ignoring her, or maybe she won't.

CloudGuide · 2017-12-22T02:16:52+00:00

A lot of women show guys in their social media who aren't their bfs or even fuckbuddies, they're just men they string around and post with in their instagram/snapchat because it gives them validation (from other women, and they think it increases interest from other men).

StinkyDiaper · 2017-12-22T17:15:51+00:00

This will be hard, but it's necessary - delete her on facebook and all other forms of social media. Delete her telephone number.

The grim, harsh reality is that she isn't into you as much as you are into her. This is a "baptism by fire" moment; something that needs to be gone through. Developing oneitis, and putting all of your eggs in one basket, doesn't always work out.

I understand why you keep thinking about her. When you two were together, the experience filled your mind with feel-good chemicals and got you high as f*ck. This is the "honeymoon" phase, which exists in order to get you two to create new human beings.

You are in drug withdrawal, and all you can think of right now is about getting your next hit. Stay away from drugs that harm you.

Pope_Lucious · 2017-12-23T07:52:31+00:00

Oh you sweet summer child!

You've come to the right place.

It's time to read the sidebar and see just how deep the rabbit hole goes.

Trumeau · 2017-12-21T22:04:08+00:00

Make sure you learn so as to not repeat it.

You will repeat it, but you can at least stop the descent once you recognize what's going on.. Good luck bro.

adddeed · 2017-12-21T23:47:36+00:00

You sound like a joke. Grow a set of balls dude. Panic attacks, leaving work, stopping working out, over some bitch you saw a couple of times?

Sorry bro, but you've got ALOT of work to do.

toki09 · 2017-12-22T08:46:37+00:00

i had it so bad once i couldn't even pour myself a glass of water because my anxiety over losing her to a rich italian man from europe was too much to handle. Read that side bar, take charge of your life. Years later you will thank yourself. Hang in there

BluepillProfessor · 2017-12-28T20:30:17+00:00

I got her a unique gift of a bunch of things she liked and she loved it. She said it was the best gift she’s ever received. After then is when she didn’t talk to me as much.

Were you expecting her to appreciate something that a man did for her? I suggest you take a peek to your right and read the sidebar.

After looking at social media etc. I don’t have the proof but it looks like she’s seeing another guy. This has led me to just panic and overthink everything. I feel like Im not good enough and I blew it by being too nice

Too nice, too mean, too fat, too short. What does it matter except as a lesson to guide future behavior? You don't need to worry about a single thing to let this experience guide your future behavior.

Eye4Chaos · 2018-01-05T15:54:19+00:00

Read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Glover....NOW

EsteraMC · 2017-12-22T17:17:37+00:00

become friends and take it slow

hAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHHAAHAHAH

HOP ON ROIDS NOW

You don't have the privilege of living a normie life if you can't get laid at 25. Roids and possibly body modifications and tattoos could improve your status.

Barvazon · 2017-12-23T20:32:54+00:00

So, mods are allowing victim pukes?

Title	2 Months of Mental Hell
Author	DizzyD187
Upvotes	33
Comments	63
Date	December 21, 2017 6:35 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/7lbekr/2_months_of_mental_hell/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/2-months-of-mental-hell.47895 https://theredarchive.com/post/47895

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