!WARNING!: Long post ahead since it combines two posts I wanted to make. If you have ADHD and/or your attention span is destroyed due to reddit/twitter/xhamster/whatever, go check out TL;DR lmao.

A pattern that I've seen since I was little was that people ABSOLUTELY love giving advice.

For some reason, it makes people feel like they're actually contributing to something and that their opinion, no matter how shit it is (lol), has great value.

Funnily, I also realized that a lot of individuals that give AMAZING advice had shitty lives.

I simply couldn't fucking comprehend how people who give amazing recommendations (from fitness to dating to business) simply couldn't be self-aware enough to improve their situation.

It was fucking weird...

In a way, people had a wayyy better and easier time fixing other people's problems than their own.

Like, I'm sure we all knew that friend in HS/college who gave very helpful dating advice... but had very limited experience. I personally had a friend back in 10th grade that used to spit some straight red pill fire, but was a fucking virgin lmao.

Or those people who LARP online, saying they're very alpha this, dark triad that, narcisstic/sociopath, destroyer of pussy, whatever. I mean, some of their advice is fucking gold, but you can clearly see that in real life, they're simply not taking their own advice.

Or even (my personal favorite lol), people on askTRP who give seemingly good advice, but when you click on their profile, you see that they also ask dumb ass questions on the same subreddit.

At first, I couldn't understand why this was the case...

But after spending some time studying mindset/psychology/eastern philosophy books and carrying out some experiments in real life, I realized the reason people can't solve their own problems like they do for others is because:

They live life inside their heads.

"Most of us live out our life in our heads, and the person who lives in our head is not our true self. We live with our minds so full of hopes, fears, and fantasies that we basically don't experience most of our reality [...]. Most of us are trapped by our sense of what and who we think we are"

-Quote from Thick Face Black Heart (my favorite book when it comes to warrior philoshophy. Great book, I recommend it).

When someone else asks you for advice, you don't experience what that person is experiencing through his mind. His limitations, his fears, his bitchiness, etc. You simply read/listen to his situation and because you're free of his bullshit mind stuff, you logically find a solution. You live in concrete reality.

That's why people find it so easy to give advice. When you see someone else going thru a problem, from the outside the solution seems so fucking simple (and most of the time it truly is)... but when YOU go through shit, because your mind is clouded with all this emotional clutter, you think your situation is harder than it truly is and/or deserves special attention and methods.

In order to fix this, here is a simple mindset trick:

Live your life as if it were someone else's.

If you find your life hard, then imagine the life you are living is not yours, and that it belongs to someone else. Instead of viewing the crisis as your problem, try to imagine it is someone's else problem. By doing so you will facilitate the solution and find tremendous freedom and relief. You will start taking chances that you normally would not and won't be as affected by defeat.

If you get your feelings hurt (ie. rejection), it's not really your feelings, it simply someone's else feelings.

If you fail, it's not really your failure, it simply someone's else failure.

View yourself as someone you would give advice to and that your job is simply to improve that person's life and making sure he actually acts on your advice.

I know it sounds a bit woo-woo/crazy, but it works. Plus, I've rarely met a successful person that wasn't a bit fucking crazy. Being "normal" doesn't pay off, trust me.

Try it, it might be exactly what you need to change your life.

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Here are a few extra tips. I probably won't post again for a while due to business increasing due to corona, so I wanted to give out some value:

  1. When you say shit, you fucking mean it.

Most people don't follow this simple rule (my guess is 99%) that can change their lives. If you say to yourself "I'll cold approach 10 girls tomorrow", "I'll cold call 10 prospects today", "I'll hit the gym 6x this week", you better fucking do it. If you treat the promises you make to yourself like they're unbreakable, you won't need any motivation anymore. Your word is your bond.

  1. Business is simply the exchange of perceived value.

Want to get rich? The only thing you need is to learn how to get the right message/product/service (with the help of sales/copywriting) in front of enough of the right people (traffic). If you learn how to sell and you know how to generate attention, you money problems are solved forever. If you know how to BUILD (ie. programming) and SELL, that's the holy grail. I know too many amazing programmers who can't fucking sell, so their prospects don't know what the fuck they're buying and are not emotionally compelled, which results in business not growing. Also, quick note, anyone can learn how to sell. I got a friend with Asperger who learned how to do it a high level, so no excuses, don't be a bitch lol.

  1. Environment > Willpower > Motivation.

So, I forgot where I read this shit, but there was a study that showed that 95% (or close) of soldiers in Vietnam that were addicted to heroin managed to curb their addiction once they got back to the US. The environment in Vietnam was a toxic one, while the one in the US didn't make them feel the need to use heroin.

The lesson? Stop relying solely on discipline and change your environment. Addicted to TV? Kill off the cue by destroying it with a bat (a bit extreme lol, but I personally did this with one of my plates, very fun hahaha. You don't have to do it). Want to stop playing video games? Sell it or every time you stop playing, put it in your closet. Can't stop watching porn? Install one of the numerous apps/software out there that blocks out porn ruthlessly.

Optimize your environment in a way that minimizes your need to rely on discipline. I personally hate the "JUST BE DISCIPLINED BRO!!", I mean I understand it is an important skill, but environment is WAYYY important. This is probably why the "You're the average of the five people around you" is such a popular saying.

  1. Beware of information addiction

Just because you know something doesn't mean you'll act upon it. People think reading the next post/article/book will change their lives. Nah bro, you know what will change your life? Actually taking action and fucking up until you learn from your mistakes. A guy that plays 5 hours golf will always beat out a guy that read 500 hours on golf but didn't play golf at all. READING BOOKS IS NOT TAKING ACTION.

Books are funnily both overrated AND underrated. I personally keep my action/reading ratio to 90/10. For every 15 minutes of reading, I make sure I take action for at least 2 hours (a bit extreme, but hey, it works for me).

  1. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE USE GOOGLE

"Bro, what are the best books on sales/programming?", "Yo, what are the best books for copywriting, dating, fitness, etc.".

Google. Please, I beg of you, stop being an "askhole" and value leech. Stop asking questions on basic googlable shit and stop asking questions without having shown that you actually tried looking for/executing something. Being an askhole is being lazy and just shows you just want the dopamine (or "high") of being given information.

Also, if you're looking for a mentor or whatever, always make sure you come across as a high valuable prospect and actually offer value to the person (ie. even stuff like buying him a lunch to talk is enough. I personally worked free for a biz mentor of mine to learn the game).

  1. The more extreme you are, the better results you will have

Look at Thotwrecker's post on Kobe Bryant. I personally consider it a masterpiece.

  1. Don't be a "bro, what are your sources? Studies? Proof?" guy 24/7.

I get that it is important not to believe what everyone is saying 100%, but sometimes, just trying shit for yourself (if it's not dangerous of course) helps. Placebo effect is very real. Also, look into visualization, many top athletes use it.

Approach life as an experimenter. Just try shit out and come up with your own conclusions. Think for yourself.

  1. There's absolutely no point arguing online with strangers

I know it feels fucking good trying to show off your own perceived intelligence/genius IQ/whatever by arguing points online, but it is such a low ROI activity. Trust me, I know how people work and it is so fucking rare to change someone's opinion by arguing, especially online. Changing someone's opinion requires being indirect, planting a "seed" inside the person's brain and letting time do its thing.

The internet (especially forums like this one) should only be used for laughs + self improvement (includes networking). Everything else is a waste of time.

Alright, that's all, hope y'all appreciated the post.

TL;DR: Think of yourself as another person that would give advice to. It will help you change your attitude. Also, I've given a few random tips (helpful or not, you decide)