Following yesterday's post "About Neediness", I come here to share with you what I read about polarizing. This had been something I was unsure about and it has been made much clearer with these words from Models Attract Women Through Honesty by Mark Manson (pp. 83). I hope you enjoy reading this as a reminder/ new info as I did.

"Our primary strategy with women is polarization. The idea is that the more forthright you are about who you are, how you feel, and what you think, the more this is going to weed out Unreceptive Women from the Receptive women, as well as push Neutral women to get off the fence and decide how they feel about you.

The amazing thing about polarization is that the simple act of doing it demonstrates non-neediness and will then inspire more Neutral women to become Receptive than other strategies or tactics."

(...)

"Polarization is what occurs when you express your truth and make yourself vulnerable.

  • When you tell a woman she is beautiful, you are polarizing her.
  • When you tease her about her earrings and put your arm around her, you’re polarizing her.
  • When you wear a custom-made suit when you go out, you are polarizing women.
  • When you tell a woman who’s late to a date to never be late again, you are polarizing her.
  • When you smile and tell her how beautiful she is, you’re polarizing her.
  • When you take her hand in yours and lead her somewhere, you are polarizing her.

Everything that is attractive is polarizing. These are never wrong moves, assuming that they are honest expressions of yourself and you are showing your vulnerability.

(...)Also, if you express your truth and there is a high amount of friction between you and her that cannot be overcome, then she will become Unreceptive

If you express your truth and demonstrate not only that you’re non-needy but also frictionless for her (similar interests, values, life situation, etc.), then she will become very Receptive. And when I say very Receptive, I mean very.

A big misconception men have is that they think they need to behave in a way that makes every single woman like them – as if women were all the same. This is counterproductive because by altering your behaviour to fit whatever she wants, it means you are not being vulnerable and, therefore, you are being needy and unattractive.

Other men often stick to plain jokes and safe topics of conversation that end up not polarizing at all for fear of being rejected. This is also a form of hiding one’s truth, not showing vulnerability, being over-invested and therefore not attractive."

  • (...)"The percentage of women who are Receptive to you will increase proportionally to the quality of your lifestyle, your social status, and your looks.
  • The percentage of women that you’re able to move from Neutral to Receptive will be proportional to how good your “game” is, or how well you’re able to communicate and express yourself with women.
  • And your ability to sort through each type of women and meet as many as possible will be determined by how fearless and bold you are when it comes to meeting women."

"(...)rejection plays an integral part in my strategy. It’s unavoidable, so I figure we may as well develop a strategy that uses it to help us. Rejection exists for a reason. If you are a professor at a prestigious university, then you’re probably not going to enjoy your time with a high school dropout with an alcohol problem. Just because she has a nice ass doesn’t mean you want to be with her.

  • Polarizing women into rejecting us — and when I say us, I mean the real us, the vulnerable and unabashed us — does us a favour by sorting out which women are going to make us happy.

Men often want to have it both ways — they want to be able to avoid painful rejections, avoid saying something stupid, avoid embarrassing themselves, while at the same time being this attractive, amazing guy who women fall to their knees for.

You can’t have it both ways. The two go together. You cannot be an attractive and life-changing presence to some women without being a joke or an embarrassment to others. You simply can’t. You have to be controversial. You have to polarize. It’s the name of the game. And getting good at the game is learning to open yourself up enough emotionally, learning to express your honest self enough and be comfortable enough with your vulnerability to take those embarrassing moments along with the moments of passion. A willingness to polarize is not easy. But it’s necessary. It’s why you’re here right now."

(...) "A lot of men assume that this means you are inviting a mountain of rejection onto you. The surprising thing is this is rarely the case. Yes, you will get rejected when you polarize women. And yes, every once in a while it will be a harsh rejection.

But surprisingly, a lot of women will react warmly to these advances, even if they’re not interested and reject you. They respect a man who is bold and honest. I’ve had tons occasions where I approached women boldly and honestly, stating directly that they were beautiful and I wanted to meet them, and despite rejecting me, they were so impressed by my boldness and confidence that they promptly introduced me to a friend of theirs who was available."

  • (...)"Instead of thinking, “I wonder if she’ll like me,” think, “I wonder what she’s like?”
  • Instead of thinking, “I hope she doesn’t reject me,” think, “I hope I'll find out if she’s right for me.”

The beauty is that whether she falls in love with you on the spot or she throws a drink in your face... you’ve succeeded. You’ve found out the truth. Your curiosity is fulfilled and you can now decide whether you should move on or not."

(...)"Remember, it’s “Fuck Yes!” or no. And if I’m not getting a “Fuck Yes!” then I’d much rather have a no than a “Meh, OK.”"

​