Confession: I’ve had a massive oneitis for an engaged woman for the past months and I work with her. I thought I was in love up until a few days ago. I’ve never approached her or told her how I feel. I would go out of my way to talk to her at work and gave some light touches that I thought would be clear about how I feel. Also touched her thigh once (wow I know).

In my diseased mind I thought she would know how I feel and I also thought she had feelings for me but couldn’t act on them. She did flirt with me in my opinion, but you know how women are, they flirt for fun and power and are just generally submissive. Anyway, she got me hooked and obsessed for a long time. I knew I had oneitis from a redpill perspective but the power of “love” took over my rational mind.

I debated internally how to play it but today I told her how I felt. Firstly, she was shocked. Secondly, she said she was engaged and couldn’t do anything. Third, I asked he how she felt about that and she said “...flattered?”. It was very obvious that she had no romantic feelings for me whatsoever. And she put my feelings down to lust. You don’t spend most of your days thinking about a chick if you just want to fuck her. It goes to show that women underestimate how much a man is interested in them, and men overestimate a woman’s interest in them. which is actually researched.

Telling her has come as a huge weight of my chest and I feel like I can actually move forward and be myself again. The focus is now off her and back onto living my life.

This proves that you need to boldly and directly approach if you want results. Either way

Mark Manson writes that bold, direct approaching puts the power and frame with you. I couldn’t agree more. If I had approached this chick months ago I wouldn’t have wasted time with this oneitis. I wouldn’t have been thinking about what might be etc. I would’ve told her how I felt and - bang! - result either way. Now that I’ve told her how I feel, I feel the power has come back to me.

If you find yourself obsessing over a girl, just fucking walk up to her and take a swing. It’s called being a man, it’s called being effective and efficient, it’s called being bold and powerful. You regain your power even if you’re denied.