Beta wonders why he's "husband material but not boyfriend material"

Rumble_in_the_Jungle · 2014-01-10T15:38:59+00:00

I'd start dating slightly older women, say 25-30. The ones your age seem like they aren't mature enough for you.

haha

[deleted] · 2014-01-10T14:31:50+00:00

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ApBrlL0lnUL0uuQEb3ms5nnty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20130302130815AA0nvxd

Nope. If she wanted to marry you she would want to marry you now. There is a term for men who wait years for a woman:

Backup plan.

Don't be her backup plan. It won't end well. If she finds another man in the interim she will break your heart. If she doesn't and then marries you she will always feel like she could have done better, like she was somehow cheated by fate. I know this doesn't make sense as a man, because men don't think that way. If we aren't really in love with a woman we won't marry her. Women however often feel entitled to marry, whether they really love the man or not. Then after a few years (or even months) they "discover" that "they don't love him anymore", and they resent the man for "trapping" her. I'm in my 40s and watched this happen to too many of my peers. See right here on Yahoo Answers with all of the married women complaining about how they were somehow tricked into marrying a lower quality man than they deserved, "trapped in a loveless marriage". Note also the near perfect absence of men making this complaint. See also the Marie Claire article linked in the sources. If she isn't head over heels in love with you, move on and find one who is. Your kids deserve the best chance possible of growing up in an intact home. You deserve to marry a woman who actually loves you. You also owe it to Mrs. right to not settle for Mrs. wrong before you meet her.

Go make a place for yourself in the world and then find a woman who is worthy of bringing into that place. Then don't marry unless both of you are 100% clear that marriage is for life.

Good luck!

johnnight · 2014-01-10T21:29:25+00:00

I dated a guy like this once. I had gone through a period of dating several "bad boys" and felt I needed a change.

Tired of carousel, wants some time off. Check.

He was smart (engineering student), ridiculously nice, affectionate (but only in an "appropriate" way), clearly had a stable future and career ahead of him, rarely drank, didn't smoke, moved ridiculously slowly sexually, and was great with children.

Stable provider, nice guy, husband material, boring in bed, nanny. Check.

Although we were only in college, I envisioned him as a 30-something with his shit together. I could picture him in a two story house with a white picket fence, with three blonde children running around, working a 9-5 job.

Good for marrying at 30 and giving me that dream house that I deserve. Check.

Someday, he will be that perfect husband for some lucky woman, but I never felt that spark. He is still an amazing guy, but we didn't have fun together.

Gives me no tingles. Check.

I really really wanted it to work, but I knew I was forcing it too much.

What does forcing it too much mean? If you wanted it to work, you would have had it.

He needed an innocent stay-at-home wife to complete that perfect picture, and I have vastly different things lined up in my future.

WTF have you lined up woman?

So I guess I could see him as a husband, but not a boyfriend. There were many other things going on- noncompatable, different view on life/marriage-

What does "different view on life/marriage" mean? Does she want to slut up now and marry later and he wants it right now? See you at the wall, honey.

but to me, he had "husband" written all over him.

Husband vs boyfriend material duality confirmed.

[deleted] · 2014-01-10T13:46:45+00:00

[permanently deleted]

thedangerboy · 2014-01-10T13:45:55+00:00

That probably means you're a dependable, stable good guy, but not someone who they want to be crazy and wild and young with.

"You are tolerable to live with because you will take care of me but you don't make me wet."

That is what they mean behind the veil of a "compliment". I have had the exact same compliment paid to me when I was younger and much more of an orbiter. I feel bad for the OP because it is a complete punch in the gut. You do all the things right and seem to get so close but it's like looking at fresh-baked pastries behind glass.

GaiusScaevolus · 2014-01-10T18:05:56+00:00

When we were 14, my buddy had a girl tell him; "You're the type of guy a girl marries, not the type of guy a girl dates."

Still bugs me that she could insult him so severely to his face and still call herself his 'friend'.

monsieurhire2 · 2014-01-10T14:16:39+00:00

I got this a couple of times in college. I correctly interpreted it at the time, shrugged my shoulders, and moved on figuring that these women would get stuck in the habit of chasing guys who would pump and dump them, and then they'd have to settle for a beta slob eager to eat up the left-overs . . . but not me! Their attitude always reminded me of a spider contemplating an insect it's going to devour . . . later.

It really translates to: you'd make an excellent slave after my slutting around days are over due to my inability to attract the alpha cock I crave and I can only console myself with accumulating material possessions, and hopefully some wealth when I divorce you and use the proceeds to subsidize my pool-boy habit.

Idrinkjdbythegallon · 2014-01-10T06:58:30+00:00

Im pretty sure the comments nailed it. "Im a slut and I want to abuse some guy I can run over and fuck some guy I can't" Sounds like business as usual.

Step up yo game

PerniciousOne · 2014-01-10T16:22:59+00:00

Just means at 30 when women are hitting the wall hard they are going to predatorily be looking at him. They will look at him to clean up all their messes after riding the carousel so hard. Illegitimate children and mountains of debt are what these women are going to offer him. And he gets the joy of throwing a hot dog down a hallway, while she half asses laying there.

He needs to figure out what women want, and being husband material is not what good looking younger women want.

His attitude seems that he wants to be a nice guy that is why he is friends with these girls and wonders why they do not look at him in a sexual manner.

Party_Liquor · 2014-01-10T17:27:45+00:00

Or maybe you're friendly and dependable, but not sexy and fun. What a 22 year old woman looks for in a boyfriend is often different than what a 28 year old woman looks for in a husband. Stability and dependability matter more in serious relationships.

i.e. Women will marry a man they're not attracted to, and don't have fun with, as long as he pays the bills.

billnye_theRPguy · 2014-01-10T20:08:19+00:00

They are telling him in the comments that he is undesirable sexually in every way but useful enough to be exploited, the guy just needs to read between the lines.

I'd start dating slightly older women, say 25-30. The ones your age seem like they aren't mature enough for you.

Replace "mature" with "desperate" and it'll all make sense.

mistonag · 2014-01-10T22:21:20+00:00

Just remember fellas, if you tell a girl she is fun and all, but not wifey material you are a misogynist.

You are the type of girls guys when they are younger that they want to have wild fun with, not the kind of girl we would one day like to marry.

FortunateBum · 2014-01-11T02:41:32+00:00

Guys, I'm going to tell you some truth.

My sister was (is?) ridiculously good looking. Guys were chasing her non-stop in high school. She could've dated anyone. She went with borderline criminals/addicts/musicians whatever. Practically street people.

Twenty years later she has married the most boring man you could ever imagine. Very nice guy I must admit.

So there you have it.

648262 · 2014-01-11T12:35:21+00:00

I like TRP because these questions are no longer a puzzle. Its fun to see people trying to figure out what is up.

It's kinda like how I envision aliens looking at us and saying "oh, how cute - they've discovered electricity. Let's see how long it'll take them to figure out fusion".

autoNFA · 2014-01-11T03:15:41+00:00

At least some of them actually came out with it and told him he was boring. Then again, there was much more bullshit than good advice.

TRPACC · 2014-01-10T18:00:44+00:00

Its down to pretty much the same reason red pill divides women into ltr and short term fun material.

Title	Beta wonders why he's "husband material but not boyfriend material"
Author	MahlerNinth
Upvotes	26
Comments	31
Date	January 10, 2014 6:31 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1uv63x/beta_wonders_why_hes_husband_material_but_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/beta-wonders-why-hes-husband-material-but-not.231765 https://theredarchive.com/post/231765

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