Cheating

ablank1313 · 2014-05-21T19:23:36+00:00

Personally, I think that if I willingly enter a LTR or a marriage, then I have a responsibility to be faithful. Now, I don't know if I will ever get married, or when my next LTR will be; but I would treat it like any other contract. It has certain provisons that need to be met by both parties and if those provisions are violated, then the contract should be terminated.

I think that it is wrong to cheat because of my personal beliefs. But, I don't give a shit if another man cheats on his LTR/wife because that is their business and not mine. If you cheat, you have to be willing to accept the consequences. Obviously, I don't consider having a few plates to be cheating. It only becomes cheating after mutual commitment.

Aexorys · 2014-05-21T19:35:21+00:00

There are only two important things to me in a relationship

-faithfulness

-being happy in the relationship

Faithfulness in my opinion is very important I don't know why, maybe I'm just old-fashioned. If I ever had the occasion to cheat I would not do it. You have to be faithful to a girl that is faithful to you and that you're happy with, mutual respect. If I was not happy I would just break up, so no cheating.

Cheating is a big no no for me, it's rooted in my education.

wall-of-meth · 2014-05-21T21:00:26+00:00

When you agree on getting exclusive, you stay true to your word. No cheating. I have little respect for men who agree wtih being in an LTR and cheat.

You can use Dread Game as much as you want, but don't go beyond that.

PBRistasty · 2014-05-21T22:06:15+00:00

I dont cheat on mine simply because I chose not to. I couldnt care less if someone else cheats on their significant other or not. Just a personal choice I made years ago.

greycloud24 · 2014-05-21T20:01:34+00:00

cheating is unbecoming behavior from men and women. it teaches other men and women that relationships don't mean shit and commitment is disposable. if you want to cheat, than just dispose of the relationship. a guy or gal who cheats is basically shitting on the rules of the commitment. it is disrespectful, it promotes dishonesty, and is generally a behavior trait of someone who is unreliable, and has no sense of duty. in general this is the behavior of an undesirable person.

that being said, if the rules of the relationship are spelled out early to allow for sex with other people than sex with other people isn't cheating. open relationships are not cheating. it is possible to be in an open relationship.

but cheating has the same moral value as stealing to me. if some guy is a thief and another guy is a cheater, i consider them as equally dishonorable. if you don't want to be monogamous than don't be. but don't lie to someone and try to convince them that you are.

now the other side is when you are single and the chick you are sleeping with is cheating. just think of her like you would think of a thief. she is effectively showing undesirable traits. you should never get in a LTR with her. you should understand that she is victimizing her partner. telling her not to steal or not to cheat won't change her, because she already is a shitty person (just like you would be a shitty person if you cheat).

now if you are with a shitty person and they already shit on your relationship, than you should just break up with them. if something is holding you back (don't want to pay manimony, don't want to lose parental status, etc) then just understand that the contract has already been rendered null and void. stealing from thieves isn't as bad as stealing from other people. cheating on shitty people isn't as bad as cheating on honest people.

Panzer_Geist · 2014-05-21T23:35:16+00:00

I consider it to be douche bag behavior. Blame my religious upbringing if you will but my word means something to me. If I tell somebody I'm doing something then by God I'm doing it.

Lets be honest here, we would all be incredibly disappointed and infuriated if we found out that our fathers were cheating on our mothers.

eccentricrealist · 2014-05-21T21:40:04+00:00

I don't respect it. Do what you want, but if you're in a relationship then by pure unspoken law you should not cheat. It is betrayal. Women don't have this notion of loyalty, but when a man does it, it is worse because he does know loyalty.

mordanus · 2014-05-21T23:12:01+00:00

I consider myself a man of honor. If I agree to an arrangement then I will keep it. If that includes being monogamous in a relationship then so be it. I think that men who cheat in their relationships are no better than men who cheat at cards or cheat in business. There's no honor in it. If that doesn't bother them then whatever but I won't do it.

[deleted] · 2014-05-22T16:25:31+00:00

deceit is unethical, and I choose not to use it in any way. it brings down the entire culture.

[deleted] · 2014-05-21T20:22:43+00:00

Cheating is for the weakminded.*

*Exceptions may apply.

Glenbert · 2014-05-21T23:16:14+00:00

So the subject is men cheating? I don't know what to add to this discussion. Society has already made it very clear that men who cheat on their women are bad people. I'm fine with that.

But most importantly so are all the men who cheat. They tend to accept that they are dirtbags.

What I cannot accept are men who cheat and then hamster it away like women do. Fuck those guys.

[deleted] · 2014-05-22T06:29:40+00:00

I have cheated before and I do think there was a degree of hamstering on my part at the time. There was plenty of benefits - I was a college cheater and it let me have the best of both worlds. Fun relationships and fun plates ONS, plus creepin' around with my bros did create some good friendships. A lot of guys in frats like me who get GFs in college will distance themselves from their friends and parties and sort of miss out of the whole networking part of college.

But that is hamstering on my part, even if its true. I knew that I should be better, I knew it was shitty. I didn't feel guilty per se, but I knew that my brain was inventing retarded rationalizations to not choose one life or the other. One foot in, one foot out is not a good life for men or women. I would tell women to either commit to the hypergamous plate strategy and love the fuck out of the carousel - OR play the good LTR game. Not one foot in, one foot out, that just wrecks you as a person and prevents you from getting better at either one.

Another hamstering that I was doing was that I would tell myself that she WOULD cheat if I wasn't this cool guy with options, so therefore she's no better - since I had the power to, I might as well, because you can bet that if she felt she could, she would.

At the end of the day, I realized the cost was too high - I didn't give a shit about hurting anyone's feelings, but look at what is happening. I was building my own hamster up. I was turning into a bitch, full of bitch-logic. What a disgusting thing to do to myself, it is like eating fast food for your body. Hamstering rots your mind - and cheating tends to involve a lot of hamstering.

I finally encountered some quote that was like "Man has the power to choose between success and failure, but no power to avoid the necessity of making that choice." I was trying to avoid choosing between two conflicting realities - and in doing so, I was losing out. I was getting stupid, I was training my brain to be able to convince me to do gymnastics and excuse myself from tough choices. So I stopped cheating. I didn't LTR anyone until I was sure that they were the quality of girl I could be faithful to. I didn't date anyone for three years of lonely plate spinning, despite wanting to with some of the girls, because I felt like I had to put myself through the ringer and truly experience this lifestyle. Ride the pussy carousel, then scoop a good girl when I was ready. And when I did get that girl, I didn't cheat.

But now that this story is over, I'll tell you what I think about it with regards to TRP. DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANNA DO. TRP is not moral strategy. If you want to do fuck around, that is on you, and as long as you aren't a hamster about it, I don't see the issue. Yeah it's a shitty thing to do, but if that's what you feel like optimizes your sexual strategy, do it. Just like girls who are doing AFBB - if you feel like that optimizes your sexual strategy FINE. The success of your sexual strategy depends on your happiness with the quantity and quality of pussy you get. If cheating is a part of that, and there isn't hamstering involved, then I see no issue with it.

Ultimately, the best strategy is to be open about what you want at the beginning and be OK with her walking if she doesn't want it. That to me is an efficient and honorable way of doing it - if you want a plate who you also are very friendly with / maybe have feelings for, just man up and tell her you want to be in that type of relationship. If she demands fidelity, you tell her this won't work, and go find someone who will.

lightfire409 · 2014-05-21T20:12:21+00:00

Cheating has always seemed like a miscalculation on a guy's part. Guys are wired to want to fuck hot chicks, regardless of their relationship status. I think it foolish to promise yourself to a monogamous relationship as a man. Women have proven time and time again they'd rather share an alpha than a beta who's exclusive to them.

Tons of guys think fucking around while having a chick being exclusive to you is somehow wrong and immoral. The only reason I can think of this being an innate response is the shit tons of one-guy-one-girl-soul-mates programming being shoved down our throats since forever.

Because its true that women crave validation and attention and guys crave sex. So long as you're spending your time and effort on your SO, she should be happy. Promising you'll be faithful to her is frankly, unnecessary and short-sighted. You will grow tired of fucking her after the honeymoon phase and while you'll still love her, you'll want to bang other chicks.

Ultimately, when a man cheats its because he's chasing a new adventure. A new physical release. He doesn't intend of falling on love again and can quite easily still love his SO. Contrasted to a woman cheating on her man, its means she's found someone who's SMV is higher; she's trying to swing branches. Its a sign of disrespect and it should never be tolerated.

trplurker · 2014-05-22T01:49:07+00:00

And now we get to see all the BP WK's this sub has attracted who go around acting manly.

My answer to this is based on a very old RP principle that is part of the foundation of this sub. The more girls a guy fucks the higher his value, the more guys a girl fucks the lower her value. Thus a guy "cheating" only raise's his value further and a girl "cheating" only lowers her value. There are no rules, no faithfulness, no bond or commitment, it's all imagined bullshit that's been created in the minds of men. She doesn't love you, never loved you and never will love you. She only loves what you do for her. The moment you stop giving her the "good feels" she is going to seek to leave you regardless of your "bond", "word" or "commitment". Those are the rules we play by, not some imagined romanticized bullshit version of medieval chivalry.

creatorman · 2014-05-21T19:46:06+00:00

Women love a man who cheats and gets away with it.

[deleted] · 2014-05-22T02:37:35+00:00

Fuck no. Letting your needs and/or emotions govern who you sleep with in an LTR is extreme Blue. We are logic based, and in cheating, we break a contract which we made half of. Even in plating, you make it known there is no commitment to be made on your part. If you want other women and you're in an LTR, open it up or gtfo. It's better than going back on your own word.

pleasedontknowme30 · 2014-05-23T17:35:32+00:00

a follow up question to OP. If someone enters into an affair knowing the other person is married...does that other person bear 'any' responsibility, or is it 100% on the married individual? As I know there are guys out there who get a high from going and seducing married women, as if it's a game. You hear stories of the girl who "would never cheat, is as faithful as they come" and all it takes is the 'right guy' charming her while she is out at a club, and 2 hours later she is being balled deep.

elchoma90 · 2014-05-21T23:31:23+00:00

I cheat all the time. It keeps me feeling sexy and desired. My LTR is the only one who gets my nut though. JK I give them all my nut.

No but seriously cheating isn't cool. If you're married then you have to remain truthful to that promise. If she's a plate then it isn't really cheating is it...

DrakeSaint · 2014-05-21T19:42:06+00:00

I've already made a thread about Cheating before, and got mixed reactions.

It was amazing to see the amount of White Knights this sub still gets, and how concerned they were to lose their "honour".

Anderfail · 2014-05-22T00:03:37+00:00

Most of the people I have met in my life who have cheated have been pretty reprehensible people in general (this applies to both men and women). There are always excuses and they are always bullshit. Generally most of these people have been more willing to do shit in other facets of their lived and in other relationships.

Of course I don't surround myself with people who do this shit and neither does my wife, so what the fuck do we know? We have made it very clear that we will each end the relationship immediately and walk if the other cheats.

ADarkerNight · 2014-05-21T21:06:24+00:00

Blah, blah, blah. I don't see one rational argument for why not to cheat. There is a bunch of great shaming language and a general attitude of trumped up honor.

If there is any utility or sense in the idea that faithfulness means taking only one partner for the duration of your life, I would love to see it. From where I stand there is none.

All is fair in love and war.

md619 · 2014-05-21T23:17:28+00:00

I don't have a problem with cheating. A man who cheats is automatically more attractive to women so it can even save your relationship.

Trying to appease a woman is 24/7 job that drains all of your productive energy and time out of you. Why even bother? It will never been enough. Do what's best for you. If that means cheating, then cheat. The only person you can make happy in this world is you.

The only valid argument I can see for not cheating is if you're married and trying to raise a kid. But since marriage is bluepill and should be avoided the point is basically moot.

[deleted] · 2014-05-21T19:49:03+00:00

[permanently deleted]

rainydayman15 · 2014-05-22T04:52:24+00:00

Admit it we all used the konami code when we were younger we didnt know better

variableLt · 2014-05-22T03:45:55+00:00

Cheating is the symptom of a fucked up arrangement you got yourself into. LTR "should" be based on the fact that you have found a person you want to be with exclusively and that person fulfills your needs, physical and emotional. If you find yourself cheating or wanting to cheat, it only means that your presumptions about that person were incorrect and that you need to gtfo of that arrangement asap - cut the losses.

Cheating can never end up as a good thing, neutral at its best. You cheat and there are no consequences - good for you. From there it can only go south, STD's, unwanted babies, rape accusations, crazy gals at your door etc.

AlphaFux_BetaBucks · 2014-05-21T19:47:13+00:00

When it's done by other men: not my place to say a word. They are free to do and act as they please

Personally: I only view it as a sexual act. If I were in an LTR it wouldn't change the amount I loved or cared about my SO. Sex is sex.

forbinsdecline · 2014-05-21T23:48:00+00:00

If you're away on business or out of town I don't think its that big of a deal.

Doing it where you live or having an affair I do not approve of.

[deleted] · 2014-05-22T10:41:14+00:00

I'm in a LTR but I keep several backup plates around as close friends and my SO just has to deal with it, and I always openly tell her my hot friends are my backup plans in case she's ever a bitch with me. She takes it well, she seems to like that other women want to be with me. It does seem to help to keep her on a tight leash ; )

opencover · 2014-05-22T14:32:28+00:00

I am married with kids. I stay in the marriage, and don't consider cheating, because of the kids.

For guys who don't have kids with a woman, even if they are legally married, if they want to cheat I just think the relationship or marriage can be dissolved. There's little point to marriage (for the provider at least) without kids, anyway.

physicalchemistry · 2014-05-21T20:51:03+00:00

In my last ltr I have cheated because she wouldn't put out. anyhow, I couldn't break up until I had a new appartement, therefore it was harder / more difficult to hook up.

We all might choose our way to misery and I won't judge any man for cheating.

rpkarma · 2014-05-21T22:03:37+00:00

Yeah, I have and will again if the moment is right. And I'll love whatever girl I'm cheating on. Those two are not mutually exclusive. It's about whether I want some extra spice in my life, something different. I have an LTR, I've "cheated" (such a nasty word) on her twice in two years, and am still completely in love with her. She knows that I've strayed but didn't want details, and would prefer not to know if it happens again. She fucked me even harder the few weeks after she found out (not through me, I'm not heartless).

chakravanti93 · 2014-05-21T19:35:54+00:00

My grandmother consistantly fucked with the score in our ping pong games just to make sure I was paying attention and not relying on her to keep score. I always thought it was just because she saw the importance of our family's genes attending math for employment.

Her motto was "It's not cheating if you don't get caught."

RedBigMan · 2014-05-22T05:13:49+00:00

If you have explicitly made a promise of exclusivity (boyfriend/girlfriend, marriage) then breaking that promise is a sign of a weak and pathetic individual male or female.

However, knowing what I know thanks to TRP. People are only as loyal as their options. This applies to men and women. Men are loyal because they have less options or they perceive themselves as having less options while women are less loyal because all they have to do is spread their legs to cheat.

cascadecombo · 2014-05-22T06:10:05+00:00

The general consensus I have seen on here before, and hold for myself is cheating isn't something we do. Lying and the like are tools for children and the kind of women that you only keep for the night.

Spinning plates and being open and honest with women as to how you aren't looking for any commitment at the time and just want to have fun while you sleep with 1- ~however many women you have is perfectly fine. And not cheating, if that is something you put into the definition.

However, having your woman see that you are desired by other women is definitely something that will benefit you in terms of your value.

[deleted] · 2014-05-22T14:08:41+00:00

Woman's perspective about cheating in LTRs:

There is nothing more sexy, and stabilizing, than being with a man who could cheat on you easily, but doesn't. It affirms you made a good choice that other women value, but it also means you made a good choice in picking the father to your children (as he won't run off).

Now, if you make a unicorn, and then cheat, she'll be gone in a flash. A good woman is not going to stick around to get fucked around on.

Why is that?

1) She knows a man that promises one thing, and does another, is hamstering to himself, so how can he lead her? You have just become another woman to her. If she wanted a women, she would have gone gay.

2) On a more practical note, she also knows a man who cheats is likely to a) devote resources to this affair b) knock the affair up and have to devote even more resources to the affair. What woman wants that?

TL:DR either make your unicorn, and make sure she knows how to keep you happy. Or end the relationship, and fuck whatever. Don't try both at the same time.

[deleted] · 2014-05-22T15:13:57+00:00

I've cheated before but don't anymore because I want to remain true to my word. When I imagine the man I'm trying to become, he is an honest and trustworthy man. Not because I hope that will earn me respect from others, but because it will earn me my own respect. I want to swear oaths that I don't break. I want my words to be so powerful that they bind me.

oldbluebox · 2014-05-22T19:03:38+00:00

A man is as good as his word.

If you're in a committed relationship you don't cheat. Have the balls to end it if you want to sleep with someone else.

There are comments here saying that women love men who cheat. That's bullshit. Nobody wants to be cheated on. Maybe women enjoy the confidence and strength of the personality of a man who will cheat but they don't actually enjoy being cheated on.

You made the decision to LTR a girl so you should have honor to hold your end of that agreement. Be faithful.

cheeky--kunt · 2014-05-21T19:34:09+00:00

Cheating happens for a reason. Not trying to protect the cheaters, but I think that the actual act of cheating on someone it is consequence of previous action.

Men do it because they are brainwired to spread their seed, and are not satisfied with actual partner.

I think I whould have to be beyond some imaginary SMV line to be able to cheat without consequences. Or rich as fuck, having all dreams and aspiratios fulfilled. Some women get off on seeing another females lusting on you.

BluepillProfessor · 2014-05-22T04:10:07+00:00

My wife refused to vow to "obey" but love and honor and cherish includes fidelity from both parties according to my interpretation.

Would I cheat? Since discovering TRP, bulking up at the gym and learning game I find I need to pull back on approaching cute girls. Some of them actually respond and when that happens it is only logistics holding me on the straight path.

But if my wife goes back to the pre TRP days of IV sex (just enough to keep you alive) I would call that failure to love and honor- and I would be on Ashleighmadison or Tinder pretty quick.

If there is respect in a LTR then there should not be any cheating. Perhaps some supplementation- but it would have to be up front (because then its not cheating).

Title	Cheating
Author	Denswend
Upvotes	19
Comments	87
Date	May 21, 2014 7:02 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2655dg/cheating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/cheating.15686 https://theredarchive.com/post/15686

Comments