Daddy issues

uvajay · 2014-12-19T13:15:15+00:00

My ex was abandoned by her biological father. (I think she was the product of an affair). Her mother quickly got married after she had her, and somehow got the step-dad to adopt her. Marriage broke down somehow (I think the mom cheated) and the step-dad moved several states away.

Somehow it didn't occur to me that this may indicate problems. I've heard of daddy issues, but holy fucking shit. She was 27 and hooking up with fat 50+ yr olds on Craigslist. Probably looked like daddy.

Like others have said, I think a bad relationship with their father is definitely a source of fucked up problems. In addition, a fucked up mother distorting her perception of men is just as damaging too. "All men are dogs/ They'll leave you/ Don't trust them" etc etc. Not only do you have to plant the right examples and morals in a daughter's head, you have to be there to flush out the bullshit.

JackGetsIt · 2014-12-19T15:02:07+00:00

Daddy issues go both ways. I was seeing a girl who's father was a high status high income alpha. The mother was desperate to keep him and constantly showed signs of feeling inferior to him. The daughter basically soaked up all the alpha love and as a result no man was good enough for her. Nobody. She bounced around and actively competed physically and mentally with every guy she met. That was how she flirted. Annoying as fuck. The only men she really liked were men that were completely unavailable to her. She had lots of gay friends as well (the only men that wouldn't tolerate her shit) and married men or men that expressed zero interest. The only way to deal with her was neging like crazy.

kingofpoplives · 2014-12-19T18:27:53+00:00

My question is: what causes these daddy issues?

People (both men and women) have all sorts of issues related to their parents. So even if the issue is father related, it's not necessarily the class "daddy issues."

I consider textbook "daddy issues" to be the result of an absent or negligent father. Without male protection, the female child develops an intense craving for adult male attention.

There is a biological basis for this, since from an evolutionary perspective, the girl with no father would be vulnerable all sorts of danger. For the sake of survival, she clings to every potential father substitute that comes along, using sex, flirtation, deception, whatever means necessary to secure the protection of adult males.

This often plays out as attention whoring (strippers are the extreme), flocks of orbiters, and high partner count. The girl with daddy issues does everything in her power to make sure there is always a line of men available to her.

Definitely to be avoided...

Danedina · 2014-12-19T15:48:23+00:00

I'm at the point where I've given up understanding what people mean by "daddy issues." It seems to be a catch-all phrase used to reverse engineer what's wrong with a certain girl, where the problem is evident and the cause is inferred. But at that point, why bother trying to understand the girl if it's clear she's not right in the head? If she's damaged she's damaged. Some guys say it's because she has no father, others maintain he was abusive, while still others say he was Lyndon Johnson and your wang will never measure up.

fortifiedoranges · 2014-12-19T10:36:54+00:00

I posted this in another thread, but it's relevant information.

What is a daddy issue? Usually some weird hangup about pops. He never hugged her enough, or never gave her praise. Maybe he beat her mom or abused her. Anything that would mentally damage a person. They act out because of some sort of traumatic event in the past. Learn to spot the signs of mentally ill women: hair dyed in weird color, chest tattoos, facial piercings, extreme promiscuity, lots of guy friends, etc. There is a lot of information about this spread out on the sub, but I've never been able to get the hang of the reddit search engine.

Honestly, I think no matter how hard you try to be the perfect parent, you're going to screw up somehow. You can only instill good virtues and hope for the best realistically.

rpscrote · 2014-12-19T21:55:03+00:00

Don't be absent, abusive, or overprotective. The fact you're here asking this question probably means you'll be fine

vengefully_yours · 2014-12-19T17:33:49+00:00

[permanently deleted]

MoltenPhoenix · 2014-12-19T11:59:09+00:00

When "daddy issues" is said, I think of psychoanalysis. The first person a girl desires is her father. This is after realizing she doesn't have a penis. Penis = Power, so if she doesn't have it, she views her father as a way to get power. Her sexuality will develop through her relationship with her father. A girl will often subconsciously look for partners that have similarities to her father, as a guy will look for girls that subconsciously reminds him of her mother.

If the girl has a fucked up relationship with his father (daddy issues), her romantic relationships will be a mirror of that, and fucked up as well.

Disclaimer: I am in no way an expert in psychoanalysis, I just studied the very basics of it because I found it interesting.

sir_wankalot_here · 2014-12-19T13:55:23+00:00

Actually it depends on what you mean by daddy issues ?

SpeedMetalPunker · 2014-12-19T17:41:28+00:00

My ex, good god, all of this.

circlhat · 2014-12-20T00:41:35+00:00

I can't say for sure but I can give you insight into my current LTR and how it has effected her.

If the father wasn't there she won't believe a father is needed to raise the kids. This is a problem with my LTR all her friends of single mothers, and her sister, and her mother. She just doesn't feel men are that important in raising children and she feels everything will work out.

She is definitely out for the Alpha's but settle with me because I was part Alpha and part Beta. I wont't bore you with the details but lets just say if you don't raise her she will go baby crazy not marriage crazy.

She doesn't want to get married, she no reason too , she doesn't want too be tied down.

Of course I see this as a game of chess and know once she is pregnant she can continue to look for Pure Alpha's once again and thus the cycle will continue.

She is not trusting but a using , she will use a man but not trust who to take care of her because a man is not someone she can count on and they will always fail her eventually therefore she must only trust herself and her feelings. She has no trust for me on word but only on my ability that which she can see and secure for herself.

She has 3-4 contingency plans already formulated in her mind and is always trying to start her own business.

You might be saying at this point, "Well damn, I would love my daughter to have a backup plan and that mindset" I thought so too, I was so impressed that I wanted to marry her and have kids except she doesn't want a father but a helper.

I guess what I'm trying to say is she will take on the role of both mother and father at least attempt too as she can't trust men as they will always abandon their children.

94redstealth · 2014-12-20T00:57:02+00:00

daddy issues stem from many possible circumstances. abuse, neglect, abandonment, pressure, over/under disciplined, overbearing, etc, etc. there is no one thing you can do to avoid it, you must do everything. you have to have a week balanced relationship with your daughter. be the caregiver, discipliner, comforter, comedian, teacher, protector, conversationalist, etc. just like you need to be a week rounded man, she needs to have a well rounded relationship with you.

sir_wankalot_here · 2014-12-19T13:54:31+00:00

I feel like most of us agree that women with daddy issues are to be avoided because they have a much higher likelihood of not being able to sustain LTRs. I have certainly found this to be true in my experiences.

I disagree 100%.

I ask because something I've come across girls with seemingly stable backgrounds (wealthy educated parents who are not divorced, very loving family etc) yet they have considerable daddy issues.

The father usually is a fairly powerful man, owner of a company, politician etc. My theory is that the woman is craving a man that matches her father. So they want a man that is able to stand up to her, but on the other hand are able to understand her.

I think it is caused by a general pussification of men.

anonlymouse · 2014-12-20T00:19:12+00:00

All the girls I dated with daddy issues had spineless fathers who let their wives walk all over them and abused their daughters. Keep your wife in check.

mega_beta · 2014-12-19T09:30:54+00:00

If a girl has daddy issues she is probably young, stupid and unworthy of dating. If a girl can't get past her "daddy issue", she probably isn't very intelligent.

Title	Daddy issues
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	19
Comments	32
Date	December 19, 2014 9:06 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2prv2s/daddy_issues/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/daddy-issues.26642 https://theredarchive.com/post/26642

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