Has this ever happened to you?

throwawaypille · 2016-04-29T06:52:39+00:00

I think it's because you feel his pain in a way no woman can. I don't think it's because you turned gay overnight. A guy I know is in an abusive marriage. I had a few drinks with him recently and he told me the whole story - I must do a post on it. I cried my eyes out on the way home.

carbon_silicon · 2016-04-29T06:08:11+00:00

Listen kid, the core tenet of TRP is authenticity, truth. Being true to who you are, and bettering yourself if you find lacunae in you. That's it.

Emotions are normal for any human being. Being RP does not mean suppressing your emotions, it means taking charge of them, harnessing them for your own good. So do not run away from your emotions, just calmly analyze them, and do what you think is best for you.

And sexual orientation is also not written in stone. Its a scale, not a binary digit.

Whatever you do, be true to yourself, be responsible to your friends, and be happy always.

ToBecomeSuperHuman · 2016-04-29T08:13:11+00:00

You can be intimate with a friend without it being sexual, if that's what you're worried about.
Being vulnerable with another person is incredibly powerful and healing and it's great you've found that with Jeremy.

DforDeadpool · 2016-04-29T10:27:47+00:00

Midway through the post, I was going to say "We can love each other on this sub bro no homo", then I realized it was slightly homo. Lol.

No, you're fine. Sometimes your brain mistakes that emotional bond for romantic and/or sexual feelings.

EarthExile · 2016-04-29T10:10:20+00:00

Women can't really understand your feelings and also generally don't give a shit. If you want a deep connection, someone you can trust to understand you and take you seriously, you need close male friends.

My best friend cried in front of me once, years ago. And what else could it have been, he was being tormented and screwed with by a girl. There's nothing wrong with being vulnerable sometimes if you trust your brothers.

Master1176 · 2016-04-29T14:18:19+00:00

The term 'bromance' is a huge shit test. Our society has managed to make it seem like close male relationships have gay overtones. Don't buy into that shit, our male friends are the only ones we can open up to and be vulnerable with.

Jester2552 · 2016-04-29T10:39:18+00:00

Anyone thinking the TRP is nothing but a place to spread hate should just read these comments. Life is a long road brother and you need not travel it alone!

EdmondDaunts · 2016-04-29T10:50:54+00:00

if you think you might be going gay on your mate then just think about the realities of being gay in the context of being straight.

Gay men like the smell and the touch of other gay men. They like the close proximity. It stimulates them at a physical level. Exactly the same way as you don't think twice about getting horny when you're with a girl getting it on.

Now if after a few weeks you and Jeremy feel comfortable sucking each other off and having a bit of cock rodeo then yeah I'd probably say you may be gay. But then so fucking what.

FrameWalker · 2016-04-29T12:31:48+00:00

told him it was no big deal. He left and I went to bed, thinking about how it felt with his head on my shoulder, leaning on me for comfort and support, and I realized I liked it. I realized I wanted to be there to support him and comfort him, and I wanted him to support and comfort me.

This is what close male friendships are for.

KartagoPill · 2016-04-29T08:00:01+00:00

Bros are for talking, women are for fucking.

pcadrian · 2016-04-29T11:12:42+00:00

it would just end up the same way

There are two key ingredients to a successful relationship that doesn't end up the way you describe.

First, you always gotta be the man. Relationships are red pill on hard mode. You show too much weakness, boom vagina goes dry. You connect too much, boom. You become too vulnerable, boom. You become attached and dependant, boom game over.

The second thing is partner selection. You have to pick the right one. Ideally a virgin, raised in a traditional values home, with original parents. She has to be submissive to a fault, not argumentative. There are a bunch of other traits, and I've been considering making an entire post on this sometime soon.

If any of the above is missing, it ends in a disaster.

HookersAndBlow4ME · 2016-04-29T13:27:16+00:00

As long as you didn't fuck Jeremy in the ass, suck his cock, or take a load from him I think your sexuality is still intact.

sterlinghtsmi · 2016-04-29T10:58:50+00:00

Yes. We are now legally married thanks to the SCOTUS.

Jaxx_Teller · 2016-04-29T13:20:47+00:00

Haha of course man, that's normal, he's your fucking bro. You're allowed to show your emotions to him because he understands what it is to be a man - trials and tribulations. Just don't do this in front of a women, your worth will drop in their eyes. They could never understand what it is to be a man.

5t3fan0 · 2016-04-29T15:01:14+00:00

i think you and Jeremy are now real bros, ready to stand shoulder to shoulder with shield and sword, to slay bitches and dragons! the start of a beautiful steel bromance!

now going serious, i believe that no woman can emotionally connect with a man as good as another man (at least not in my experience), so its totally normal that you both got comfort in each other arms, and in fact you are both lucky to have eachother as bros.... millions and millions of bitches (like those that hurt ya) will never feel that connection with another human, ever.

kinpsychosis · 2016-04-29T09:30:23+00:00

The thing people don't realise on this subreddit is that you can still have relationships with people, holy shit, its about realising you are not there to pamper the girl and nor are you there to be used by them, as long as you understand that a relationship is like a business the relationship should turn out fine, I have been having no strings attached things with women and the thing they love about me is that I DONT treat them like a princess, I respect myself and them and they see that as more respectful.

And btw, being a red piller doesn't mean you are a sociopath, you can feel empathy and you can be there for a person in need, be they a women who is emotionally distressed or a guy friend.

clonegreen · 2016-04-29T06:24:13+00:00

It's so awesome that you and Jeremy connected.

I'm 26 now, and in my generation (or at least how I was raised) we were always taught that sadness and crying isn't masculine.

Being a bitch and crying often is one thing, but crying because of past trauma is healthy and normal, it's a way to let the pain be expressed in a healthy way. I've been subject to past conflicts that shaped the man I am today, and I've grown from them by admitting it was fucked, but then you hold yourself accountable by asking "well now what?"

That's why it's so important to have a support system through another human being you can respect, learn from, and be able to help grow with. Emotions are indicators that cue us in on how we feel.

Eyes_Of_The_Dragon · 2016-04-29T14:54:07+00:00

About 15 years ago I worked with a thirtysomething who was single and had a few younger plates. He and I would discuss politics and philosophy and such, and he would often complain that he could not have discussions with his plates the way he and I talked.

HumbleEngineer · 2016-04-29T09:56:36+00:00

One of the things that made me come out of the hole that one of my previous relationship was was talking about it with a friend. I "got lucky" as we both had ended our relationships at about the same time (I realized my then current gf was a egotistical manipulative pos and his fiancée said that she would likely cheat on him once they were married... 2 weeks before their wedding. Blessing in disguise?) and talking about what happened, and also crying, because the pain was too much at the time. It helped so much. That was a couple weeks after I found out trp so it was full on anger stage.

suske127 · 2016-04-29T13:11:28+00:00

Hey there, man - glad to see you posting here. This is a quality question.

I've wondered about this myself in the past. I feel like I haven't had any "real" (emotional) relationships in years and I've often thought about trying to fill that with one of my bro's. I have a tight group of guys who I really consider "brothers" and wouldn't leave for any amount of bitches in the world. I'll say if it's working for you - good for you man! Glad you found something to fill the void

I would also have to warn you not to get "to close" or whatever - I have absolutely nothing against "gays" (not saying you are or will be) but, any time you develop strong feelings like that for a friend (of any gender) you run the serious risk of ruining the relationship.

Anyways with that said, there IS a way to have emotional relationships with women! We'll call it "cutting your losses" I guess.

If you've read up a lot about frame, and understand it, this will make sense.

What TRP generally teaches is that you need to put a woman in your frame at LEAST 90% of the time in order to keep her, to have your way with her, etc. And that's generally true. However, then you end up living the entire relationship in your logical, male frame, right? Her frame is the fun, emotional one.

So the solution is to live in your frame 60%-70% of the time, and let her impose her frame on you for 30%-40% of the time. Now, this will lead to plenty of "drawbacks" and she will have more power in the relationship. But if you keep 60%-70% of the power, you are still in control of things, and still get to feel some of the emotion of being in her frame once in a while.

I'm off to get an allergy test (can't join the military if you're allergic to bees!) but I hope this was understandable and makes sense

Howyougonnabanana · 2016-04-29T13:51:32+00:00

Long time listener, first time caller. First it must be said that emotion is as natural as breathing. Chemical releases in our brain provide good, and bad, feelings we interpret into emotion.

Second is that it is in our nature to be a part of a "tribe". As men, while we fight for our place on the totem pole, we seek togetherness with other men as a means to increase our chances of survival, thus increasing the odds of spreading our seed.

Third, and in my opinion the most important, is trust. Over time, as you share more and more, trust is built providing a very needed grounding to the realities of this world. The longer the friendship, the greater that trust. (I am typically mindful to surround myself with other alphas as to feed off their energies. Betas can be good friends but I find extended time spent with them to be especially draining)

My story: about 6 years ago I moved 400 miles from everyone I knew to start a life with a girl I contracted oneitis with. I met John a few weeks after and we began hanging out on a regular basis. He pointed out the issues at hand with my relationship but I chose not to listen. Me and girl break up (my decision) and I move to another state. 6 months go by and I'm in a rut with women so I go back to try and date my ex (ex's are ex's for a reason. DON'T do it)

Me and John begin hanging out like I never left. This time he's in my position with his girl and I try and give him the same advice he gave me but the trust isn't quite there yet. Things end bad, he downspirals and I help him back up.

I let my emotions loose on another case of oneitis and when that ends I downspiral however I am now quick to recover because the trust is built and he helped re ground myself.

A year ago I meet Jake through John and we all start hanging out Jake is a new addition to our tribe but has proved himself trustworthy and loyal as a friend.

We have fought together (literally fisticuffs), laughed together, and seen each other at our worst.

Seek your support system in those you deem worthy of your time and energy as well as with those that bring out your best. It will help keep you grounded in your times of denial and doubt.

slothsenpai · 2016-04-29T14:52:40+00:00

In the hopes of getting a threesome, I once resorted myself into meeting up with a bisexual guy who was trying to have his way with me, and we eventually banged. Not gonna get into a long story of how it happened but after when we were cuddling, and then holding hands as he walked me to the bus stop, I actually experienced some emotional comfort that none of the girls I'd ever been with had been able to give. I didn't like the sexual experience, was repulsed throughout most of it but I reckon guys are better at filling the emotional void than most women are. I find modern women way too cold, fickle and hypergamous for my liking.

ThePounder · 2016-04-29T17:04:58+00:00

I thought a while about how to respond to your question. You're asking for the community's experience and opinion regarding your personal experience. Human relations are infinitely complex and as pointed out by other posters, I too would argue that male bonds are far more complex than those achievable by women.

So instead of going into much detail and attempting to explain what you experienced , it would be easier to simply share my own experience with you.

Without further ado: Yes. I have had very similar experiences with my best friend. We can cry on each others shoulder if such a situation presents itself. We share anything, from our future plans and dreams to our actual dreams (while sleeping). Our actual dreams and future plans are also very similar, but I digress, that is beyond the scope of this comment.

You can share incredibly intimate moments with your best friends and it only strengthens the bond you have. My best friend and I are both in LTRs and have been for a similar amount of time. We're both attracted to women, although I bet a lot of people would like to think that we are gay. Either because they are jealous of our relationship or because they cannot begin to understand what it's like to have a best friend like that.

You might've found your soulmate; don't let other people define your relationship.

NeoreactionSafe · 2016-04-29T16:50:21+00:00

Ask yourself this question:

"Can the deepening of intimacy with another male improve your sexual strategy?"

The answer is probably "No".

The Blue Pill is the emotional indoctrination system... the brainwashing... combined with the Child Support and other laws that collectively wreck damage on your ability to develop masculine polarity.

What is masculine polarity?

It means you have Frame, an ego boundry, a Free condition, internal Freedom, separation from the herd, "going your own way", etc.

Which means that if you permit your Frame to be broken by another male... even if it "feels good" you are weakening your masculine polarity.

Homosexual males tend to be "butch" or "femme".

The "butch" ones are very aware of the damage that male penetration causes and seek to penetrate, but not to be penetrated.

The "femme" ones want closeness, so they open and allow penetration and gradually their masculine frame gets weaker and weaker.

I'd say to wake up now and know what is happening.

All errors in behavior are changeable... we are able to "go our own way" any time we wish.

There is no path worth following but those where you wake up.

Stythe · 2016-04-29T17:01:33+00:00

That's just a close friend. I had a hell of a time when my ex and I split and I was growing up from it. I thought I really was the problem at first, the reason she left. I blamed myself for everything. My drug addict, bi polar ex messed with me so hard I questioned who I was. On Halloween night I was partying at my place with my boy and a few other friends and I got overwhelmed with sadness that my ex wasn't there. I went for a walk to grab some smokes and sat down and cried, then went back into my apartment and said I need to talk to him. I broke down in front of him and you know what he did? He told me to fuck off because I was the one who did everything in that relationship ship. He reminded me that I had been pushing myself as hard as I could and got no respect for it. He told me I deserved better. He even joked about if I needed a blow job he'd get his girl to do it. The dude made me laugh my ass off and we went out back and dumped some rum on a shirt mt ex left me and watched the fucker burn. Then I pissed on it. Man that was cathartic. That's real, tangible love right there.

NietzscheExplosion · 2016-04-29T19:19:17+00:00

Absolutely. If you've ever been in real combat, or a real survival situation, its very easy to get into these relationships with men. You end up not giving a flying fuk what people think about it too.

Docbear64 · 2016-04-29T21:01:09+00:00

I have , Reading No More Mr. Nice Guy was huge for me , it is easily the most important book I've read in my adult life if not entire life . One of the main points it elicits is embracing and connecting with other men .

I started this process by connecting with my absentee father which was fucking huge, I hated this man for the 15 years of my 25 years of living that I knew him all because my mom Raised me to hate him . We had an upfront talk I let him know I hated him for a long time and at the end of the conversation he had told me a ton of family history i had never known , told me what he was like as a kid which showed me a lot of parallels to myself , and for the first time in my life I told him I loved him and meant it as strongly as I could .

Next on my list was hanging out with my 32 year old beta cousin . He has always been sheltered but growing up (beta me) thought he was one of the coolest people I knew because of his hobby for swords , love of anime , and the large amount of videogames he played .

Well I invited him to go to the strip club with me last weekend , he was pretty down to go . We had dinner and since we never hang out the question of why we were came up and I told him how much Reading No More Mr. Nice Guy affected me . we talked about women, work , I shared some redpill knowledge with him , he shared with me he felt like he had no personality ( at 32 years old he didn't even know himself how sad?... granted it took me until I was 26 So I didn't do too much better) .

He told me he was the only family member he was comfortable going to the strip club with . he told me he was jealous of my dating success and I told him stories of my cheating ex , a BP chick I briefly dated, and just let him know that having women is fun but it is by no means everything .

It was a really good honest moment I've had with a male family member around my age that I never had before and I can definitely say for both of us it was a great night . I enjoyed it so much I invited him to join me at a renaissance -faire in a few weeks . Wenches in corsets and jousting are my main reasons for going .

Anyway the point being yes , yes This has happened to me . I will admit while reading No More Mr. Niceguy the idea of pursuing the company of other men made me uncomfortable . Growing up blue pill with an army of sisters I always felt that being sensitive to the needs of women and a " different" kind of guy made me a special snowflake when in reality I hate men , I hated my self for not being a man , and had no Idea how to be a man around men and therefore wanted to avoid masculine situations ( the one exception was playing football I realize) .

I definitely hope or at least expect in my future that creating places and forming more solid masculine relationships will be a cornerstone of my life . I think there's an honesty and appreciation for being a man and understanding the struggles that that entails that only other men can embrace and support you in . Now We're men so I wouldn't expect to many crying sessions ( though sometimes you just have to let it out) but sometimes it's nice to tell someone that you had a shitty day and just get the response " Amen brother well let's have a drink and forget that shit"

Man_Jose · 2016-04-29T21:29:15+00:00

I have a group of 4 men. We all graduated from school at the same time and live in the same metro area. Here's the thing we do:

Meet at least once a month (hiking, camping, vegas, touristy stuff, bars, road trips, MOVIES, concerts etc.)
We talk about sports and women. We talk about women we are dating, their behaviors and our struggles

IT FEELS GREAT!

I feel lucky to have such male friends. No female has ever given me any such emotional support as them. We laugh together, share joys and sorrows together.

I highly recommend forming a small band of male friends. You will not feel emotional void as much and can sincerely fuck girls without emotional attachment. Plus, girls love guys who have other guy friends.

Bro code applies! No fucking the sister or wives or girlfriends.

stonepimpletilists · 2016-04-29T11:45:04+00:00

You sound like a woman. Bad shit happens to people, and you let him spiral his emotions into a breakdown, good job...

We all have hard shit that happens (or maybe not, I'm told my childhood isn't the norm) let him get it out, but don't sit there and be sad, because it just encourages more sadness and depression over it.

Don't validate negative feelings, focus on the positive masculine ones, so he can get over this shit.

PoFolk · 2016-04-29T16:19:00+00:00

I prefer to confide in my good male friends, females will never have the connection me and my boys have.

MeatCurtainRod · 2016-04-29T17:37:37+00:00

This is because as a boy growing up, you had no male role model. In this politically correct world of feminism, you are told to think like a girl. You have no idea what it is like to be a man when it comes to this kind of context. Don't worry, that is what TRP is for. Still, this is dangerous because you have no basis of knowledge to make an informed decision on whether or not you identify as a man or a women. Worse, you have no basis of knowledge to know if your feelings are substantiated in other meanings, such as being straight or gay.

So if I were in your shoes, I'd realize that I made a bro. A bro is someone who you can talk to and level with, to help you through tough shit. Like a best friend. Be happy you have someone like this as most guys don't. Contrary to popular belief, not all solutions can be made in solitude. Most can, just not all. And that is where your circle of close friends comes in to play. You also must realize that you CANNOT do this best friend shit to women. Men and women can't be friends. The statement of 'marrying your best friend' is a freakishly huge lie.

Title	Has this ever happened to you?
Author	ProfessorBLK
Upvotes	58
Comments	58
Date	April 29, 2016 5:58 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4gy4l2/has_this_ever_happened_to_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/has-this-ever-happened-to-you.58052 https://theredarchive.com/post/58052

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