Some background: 35, in process of divorce, job pays 200k+ at local university, located in metro area of 900k

I discovered red pill over a year ago in a struggling marriage. During the process, I started cheating and realized I did a horrible job vetting my ex. Finally called it quits in March and waiting for trial in October to finalize everything. That is when I started meeting new people at possibly the most inopportune time. Here are some of the things I've learned.

Online Dating Don't take this seriously at all. So many women have shown me their profiles and the 50-100 messages they have waiting from guys. Just joke around and be prepared to talk to a lot of women to set up 2-3 dates a week. Also your profile should be pictures of you doing stuff, not stupid selfies or other masturbation. So much of it comes down to timing, luck, and things you can't control anyway. Also this quarantine stuff really means nothing to women. I've met close to 40 in person (ages 23-41) over the past few months and nobody really cares about staying home if the "right" person comes along.

Another quick related note - if someone doesn't agree to meet the first time you ask or suggest a different time to meet, next them. Otherwise you're wasting your time.

Meeting in Person Obviously follow red pill philosophy about push and pull, joking, etc. But only ever commit to a drink at first. Probably 20% of who you meet will catfish you, so you need to be able to leave at a moment's notice. Also, if it does go well, have a plan to close. Mine is that I play guitar so I invite them over to play for them. Just make sure it isn't the same thing that a bunch of other people do. For example, where I live, everyone loves fishing and hiking. So instead of asking people on those types of dates, I make sure to make fun of that shit when I first meet someone.

Vetting This is the biggest change to my entire dating philosophy. I used to look for reasons to have a relationship when I hung out with women in the past. Now I only look for red flags. There was a post on here about women imagining an alpha male based on all the best characteristics of their previous relationships. I believe a guy should actually do this as a prerequisite for entering a LTR. And that list should be real personality traits like independence or a genuine sense of humor, not garbage like "nice". If nice is the best characteristic of a person or a way others describe them, they actually suck and aren't interesting. Once you truly internalize that you are the prize, then you won't settle for nice. You'll move on at a moment's notice and have no fear about not being in a relationship.

If you do start vetting one girl seriously, I'd still recommend meeting others. There have been a few times I've spent a week or two with a woman to think she has potential. However, if you keep meeting women and/or spinning plates while vetting, you'll much more readily identify red flags and not get yourself into a suboptimal LTR.

Spending Time Alone This is absolutely essential. If you are always surrounded with friends, family, and dates, these people are going to tell you how great you are. Take some time alone for real personal reflection instead of filling up your calendar with dates. I used to go to church but now am opposed to most organized religion. However, I found some daily devotionals that I listen to in the morning every day. I'd also recommend meditation and even journaling about your emotions that day. The only way to truly grow is to identify your shortcomings and make them different.

The Path Forward After meeting lots of people and an n-count of 16 during quarantine, I have learned that companionship should be the goal. Find a person who you like spending time with until you don't like spending time with them. Sleeping with as many women as possible doesn't bring fulfillment, but most men actually have to do that themselves to figure it out. Instead, appreciate the fun times you have with a woman until either they want more than you want, or you want something else. Remember that there is no fulfillment in women - instead they are companions to the fulfillment you create for yourself.