Red Pill Fatigue

[deleted] · 2013-10-28T20:39:58+00:00

[permanently deleted]

bankruptedcasino · 2013-10-28T20:49:03+00:00

I know exactly how you feel, but it does get better. Trust me.

But first, let's just address your specific issues:

Holding your frame 100% of time is exhausting. I live constantly knowing that one little slip up and it's game over. I need to be perfect all the time. I don't get to have off days when I'm disposable. I need to correctly answer constant shit tests.

This feeling is common among men who have not adapted TRP as a lifestyle and still view it as a strategy or tactic to get a woman to bed. TRP is, by far, the most effective way of getting a woman to sleep with you, but it is not a means to an end.

Your issues with "holding your frame 100% of the time" signals that your inner game and your outer game are not congruent. To wit, everyone knows that an alpha male is laconic and blase. But an alpha male is laconic and blase because his inner game is strong. The club that offers a rich bounty of 9s and 10s is of no consequence to the alpha male because he's been in the company of 9s and 10s before. The alpha male is only captivated by the 9 and 10 who earns, and keeps, his attention.

My guess is that you're transitioning. By your own admission, you are midway through digesting RP theory and behavior. Once you have completely digested it, you won't be so concerned with state control. You will act indifferent and aloof because you are indifferent and aloof.

The best way to work on this is through inner game. There are much better primers on that than what I will offer here, but what worked for me was: (1) lifting weights and eating healthy, (2) identifying and solving the problems with my psyche that prevented me from having success with women (e.g., general anxiety disorder), and (3) finding a support network of friends and family who instantly recognized and appreciated my value.

I meet a nice woman and I just see red flags everywhere. I'm tired of dealing with their shitty behavior; the flakiness, the bitch shield, the entitlement, the "sit back and entertain me" attitude.

This is not a bad thing in any shape or form! Congratulations, /u/jeebusthecat, you have now entered the wonderful world of establishing and enforcing standards.

Beta males have the following items on their checklist for what they're looking for in a girl:

(1) That she likes me
(2) There is no (2).

The red flags you notice are, unfortunately, the red flags present in a large majority of women in the West. Their caddish and unacceptable behavior has been reinforced, time and again, throughout the course of their lives to the point that they now see absolutely nothing wrong with flaking, bitchiness, entitlement, or an ego-driven belief that they are to do nothing while you do all the work in a courtship.

I have recently run into a similar issue. I've had two HB9s on the ready for a month, but have not initiated a hangout or sex with them at all. Why? Because they're boring. Yet, these women are physically appealing and have no issues attracting men. On our dates I literally did all the talking. Now they're blowing up my phone with thinly-veiled attempts to get my attention. No dice. Being boring is fatal. But I don't blame them. I blame the litany of beta males who have rewarded and encouraged this behavior.

I know we don't directly chase women, but I feel like we chase them indirectly: it's still hard work getting a woman to chase you. I just don't want to deal with it anymore. Does it become second nature over time?

Yes and no. I always have to work hard at crafting a strategy that is chasing-without-looking-like-I'm-chasing. For natural alphas, this is no issue. They simply send a text to a girl who already worships the ground they walk on. So, when in Rome...

Just a hunch, but I'm guessing what you're really saying here is that you don't know that to do when you hit a lag in your text message game. (If I'm wrong, let me know or PM me.)

You could really benefit from the use of trial texting. Whenever a text message conversation goes dry or I eject early (which you should always do, young padawan) and the message stream goes cold for a few days, I trial text after at least 72 hours. I get very clear signals from women after I send a trial text when a conversation goes stale. If she responds near-instantly, I know the silence was her waiting for me to text. If she takes her time, it's a yellow flag. Depending on her response I might still pursue it. If she doesn't respond within 24 hours, the number is deleted and I move on.

As to other aspects of game, making a girl chase you is easy. You sit back, flirt 1/3 of the amount that a beta male would, and make sure you flirt with other women in front of her face. Trial texting is great here. Drop her a trial text, start a three or four text conversation, then immediately get out without saying a word. Her hamster will run for days. And when the hamster is running, she is getting all goosed up just thinking about you. Leverage that hamster to your advantage!

Here's another example: You're at a party where your target is present. Assume you and your target are past attraction and in comfort. You enter the party (fashionably late, young padawan), and instantly greet everyone there that you know except her. When she approaches you to initiate conversation (she will, she thinks you might not like her and she wants to know what the fuck is up), act indifferent and aloof. Talk to other girls, flirt lightly. When you initiate a conversation with her again, immediately enter comfort. Ask qualifying questions ("Do you know how to cook?" "Are you the jealous type?" <== hey this works well! You were just flirting with other girls in front of her face!). When comfort is at its peak: (1) get out ("Nice talking with you, [name]. I'll text you."), (2) venue shift, or (3) venue shift then make a move.

I've learned to tell women wasting my time to leave. I've gotten great at saying no to unreasonable requests. However, it still gets to me. I feel like I've failed despite doing the right thing and cutting my losses. It hurts when a great night out turns to shit in less than a minute.

This quote is what inspired me to respond to your post. I feel the same way all the time. Whenever I throw another woman to the curb, I think I must have made some tactical error in my game.

Sometimes I have. Maybe I bit down too hard on some beta bait. Or maybe I went on a date out of frame and it showed. I call this preemptive rejection. But the good news for you is that as you continue to follow TRP philosophy, rejecting a girl because of your beta mistakes will occur less and less.

It is far more likely that your TRP philosophy has sniffed out a loser. Remember what I wrote earlier: women have been trained by the beta males that surround them that this behavior is rewarded and encouraged. You likely cut your losses from some slag who will off and marry some beta provider while getting some alpha on the side. Who do you want to be? The husband whose wife worships him and the ground he walks on, or the husband whose wife treats him like an employee? (Or, better yet, the husband who never was -- ah, yes, the eternal bachelor!)

I can't help but feel utterly worthless. I feel like RP is just making me not want to deal with women, because no matter how much I change, they never will. Maybe I just have an RP facade and deep down I'm still BP.

There have been many, many times when I felt this way. I believe that good women are extremely hard to find and the good ones are even harder to find when they're attractive. I don't date anything below an objective HB8. Finding women at that beauty level who are not also pieces of shit is damn near fucking impossible.

But soldier on.

When you find a HB8 who "gets it" (maybe she's a TRP woman, or maybe her mom instilled in her the traditional gender roles that are so lacking in today's post-feminist society), you will fall in love faster and deeper than you ever had before. THEN you can talk to me about state control.

But until then, as long as you have a penis you're going to want to put it in a vagina. Unless you can turn that part of your brain off, then you're going to have to stick in the game. Don't hate it, embrace it. The rules you were taught to play by were written by women who wanted the game to be rigged in their favor with the deck stacked against you. It's their revenge for a lifetime of being treated like the ladies in Mad Men, who were objectified and treated like second-class citizens while dutifully attending to their burgeoning busoms so they could hopefully catch the attention of a man who would marry them.

It's not too late to swing the pendulum back in your favor. Just don't give up. And remember, it gets better.

Archwinger · 2013-10-28T21:42:12+00:00

Here's the thing: You don't have to be perfect. If you screw up something, so what? It's just some girl who won't sleep with you because something you were trying out turned out awkward. There are billions of people in the world. Go talk to someone else.

The Red Pill is NOT about women. It's about you. It's about being a man. It's about truth. Now that you know so much more than you did, you're supposed to take this knowledge and enjoy life, not stress out about it. If gaming women isn't fun for you, go read a book, work out, learn a new skill, work on your career, and when you're horny, go out and find a girl.

Enjoy your life. Stop treating every minute like a chore. And most important of all, stop getting all caught up in trying to make sure you always do the right thing with girls. It's not worth it. When you want sex, go get it. When you don't, don't. When you say the wrong thing or a woman turns out to be a waste of your night, shrug and smile. Learn to enjoy the journey.

[deleted] · 2013-10-28T21:52:29+00:00

The stress and agitation you are feeling is cognitive dissonance. You haven't internalized TRP, you are still relying on it as a pickup strat instead of a lifestyle.

You don't have to be perfect. Nobody is.

What you have to be is 1. Good enough. and 2. Not giving a shit that you aren't perfect.

Remember, focus on YOURSELF FIRST. Do the things that YOU ENJOY. Have fun. Do the things that make YOU HAPPY.

Nothing, not muscles not any game tricks, not nothing is as attractive to a woman as a guy having the time of his life.

You need to internalize it more. You're still faking it, you haven't made it yet. Its fine. You'll get there, you just need to give it time and, most importantly, have confidence in yourself.

Its a numbers game bro. Remember you're looking for a Great White Buffalo while digging through pig shit. Trust me it'll be worth it in the end, I promise you that.

The next time you feel bad about telling a woman no to some fucktarded request, take a moment and instead think about just how pissed you'd be at yourself for saying yes.

"Sure I'll buy you and all your friends drinks at the swanky nightclub! Let me just pull $300 out of my ass and slap the bartender in the face with it! Oh whats that, you still won't sleep with me and now I'm out a car payment?"

redpillschool · 2013-10-28T20:45:43+00:00

Burnout. Been there, man.

It's not that you have to spit 100% perfect game 24/7, but sometimes you really feel like you have to. Women, like ErinLA down here, have literally no clue just how hard it really is. You may not need to be perfect, but when you face a number of rejections, you start to wonder how much you're messing up. You start to wonder how on earth do other guys have any luck at all?

Getting with women is definitely a chase. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise. Sometimes I get so desensitized to the whole process, I feel less like pursuing. Sometimes I just have to take a break.

I mean, what's the point if you've just replaced one shitty lifestyle (blue pill) with another that doesn't give you what you want? (red pill)?

Well, there's a question for you. It's what you make of it, really. The red pill isn't a magic bullet to bring you happiness. That's your job. The red pill just teaches you the pitfalls of the blue pill lifestyle.

Once people learn what's really happening in mating, some people write off dating altogether. I don't blame them. Some end up neck deep in pussy. I've been there. I've also had terrible dry spells.

Maybe I'm not the happiest I could be. Maybe I'm worn out. But I'll tell you one thing: I could never go back to the previous lifestyle knowing what I know now.

My immediate recommendation to avoid burnout is to approach girls with the intention of turning them down/blowing them off. Don't go in looking for dates. Just go in and chat. Not for some feel-good bullshit, just to get the vibe of conversation under your belt without fearing rejection.

Ultimately, people may tell you that this is evidence that you've bitten off a philosophy that won't treat you well. All I can say to that is: It's a philosophy where the strong survive and the weak fail. Sometimes the only thing keeping me going are my goals, no matter how shitty I feel.

ChaoticParadox · 2013-10-28T22:21:20+00:00

I live constantly knowing that one little slip up and it's game over.

Bzzzzrt Wrong.

Luckily for you, the red pill is actually much simpler to digest than you're making it out to be. I don't even have to finish reading to tell you what you're doing wrong. You're taking yourself too seriously.

You need to learn to forgive yourself for your screw ups, cause there will never be a day where you are a perfect human being who can do no wrong. So get that mentality out of your head right now; it's useless.

What you need to do is rethink what your conditions are for success. Letting a woman's responses factor in in any way is an automatic recipe for failure, because women are natural sabotagers of good things. Their opinions, thoughts, and actions are not your responsibility, so you shouldn't feel guilty if they don't approve of or respond to your dominance. A true alpha really gives zero fucks what women think at all times because what women think isn't a concern for him. 99 problems, bro.

Seriously, if you feel like you're exerting energy to maintain your frame, you're already doing it wrong. (It's cool, we all gotta start somewhere. You just need to read up a little more on the red pill and digest more of its teachings. You're in the right place, and you're learning. Keep it up!) Your frame is your frame of mind. The actions you perform are a result of how you think and feel in different situations. If your frame includes the notion that a woman's opinion is irrelevant, you are invincible to any of her shit tests because you won't care about passing or failing them, and that's ALPHA AS FUCK.

And another thing about shit tests. Women are walking talking shit testers. There's no break from it, which means you don't have to guess when you're being tested. The secret is they are always testing you because it is in their nature. Why make a big deal about it? Isn't being super focused on passing her shit tests a failure of a shit test in itself? Relax, man. Don't play her games. Be you. If she tests you in a way that is annoying, point it out. If she persists, show her the door. You don't put up with bullshit from a woman, ever. If you feel disrespected, the correct move is to next that cunt immediately.

There's always a woman willing to put out and listen to you, so don't waste time beating yourself up over fickle sluts who think they're too good for you. If a woman isn't responding positively to your advances, why the fuck would you still be trying to win her over? She'll change her mind the moment she sees you with a younger, prettier girl anyhow.

seanjohn12117 · 2013-10-28T21:17:37+00:00

I think you need to work on inner game. You need to truly believe that you have a higher value than every woman you meet so that becomes your natural frame.

Zackcid · 2013-10-28T23:59:36+00:00

This doesn't happen to me anymore. You need to become more process-oriented and actually enjoy the stuff that you do. Enjoy the time you spend talking with girls. It shouldn't have to be like some chore or being in front of a judge's panel.

I gotta tell you that you don't have the same "version" of the Red Pill as many of us. I also suggest you cut off on canned routines and PUA orientation. Aim to be a Natural that doesn't have to try hard at being alpha.

FemtoG · 2013-10-29T01:00:45+00:00

What you described OP is the life of a korean popstar.

That consistent pressure and necessity to act, speak, and work perfectly.

noitsourcity · 2013-10-29T04:50:30+00:00

I don't know about all this. I respect all your approaches but OP is right, this is over thinking man. You want a better girl, be a better guy. Confidence is what they want. That doesn't come from faking you're some cocky dude who busts balls. That comes from being more than you ever thought you can be. Workout, look your best, dress well, make money, always be in school for something, be independent as fuck, be good at things, don't NEED anyone else to make you happy. That's the game in my eyes and it always served me well. All this stuff can seem like a lazy man's way to play. If you stick out of a crowd, they will notice you and want you.

deltron80 · 2013-10-28T23:22:43+00:00

MGTOW

magicalbird · 2013-10-28T20:36:36+00:00

From experience I can relate so allow yourself to make some mistakes from time to time. Women usually live by their emotions in the moment so while a mistake as you put it may make you be seen less awesome in that moment, women don't really remember anything after you two leave each other's presence.

What that means is that the next time you meet she'll only have a vague memory of what went on and if you were on for most of it, she'll be attracted to that part of you.

WheelbugScaphism · 2013-10-28T20:49:53+00:00

I have the same sensation. Why bother at all? I have been redpill for some time now. It does help with self esteem to give them the brush off.

MagicGainbow · 2013-10-28T23:22:21+00:00

Check my comments brother, i'm feeling it bad.

cipahs · 2013-10-28T23:26:21+00:00

Question: if you let women know that 'looks' dont affect you and you value kindness, intelligence, YXZ personality. is this a good thing to throw out there

pro_skub · 2013-10-28T23:26:59+00:00

The problem is that they can afford or think they can afford their behaviour.

Imagine you want to buy fb stock, but you think it's grossly overvalued so you bid for half it's current price. There is a good chance that it stays overvalued for longer than you have patience and you'll end up not buying any.

The answer is to keep researching the market for something else that you like at the price that you are willing to pay.

In other words, don't expect to "tame" every woman. That's just... too much to ask.

jakethesnake76 · 2013-10-29T00:38:54+00:00

I know we don't directly chase women, but I feel like we chase them indirectly: it's still hard work getting a woman to chase you. I just don't want to deal with it anymore. Does it become second nature over time?

Stop making it so hard , have fun change,the dynamic.You are off balance , put them off balance use teasing and Negging as needed, stop over thinking it. You are making them nervous with your nervousness, start joking more and don't take offense at their jokes, be incontrol and it is effortless.

RedBigMan · 2013-10-29T02:12:48+00:00

Holding your frame 100% of time is exhausting. I live constantly knowing that one little slip up and it's game over. I need to be perfect all the time.

You do not have to be perfect all the time. You just have to be perfect most of the time. Everyone screws up but part of learning how to be red pill is recovering from mistakes.

Likewise with shit tests, they are only critical in the early stages of a relationship. They qualify or disqualify you as a potential mate. Once you have an established relationship it is possible to fail shit tests occasionally without there being huge fallout. Likewise, it's also possible to come back to a shit test later on and pass it where you failed it the first time. And if your frame falters in a relationship it is possible (though difficult) to reframe your relationship. Though in most cases people do not feel a woman is worth the effort that this takes to do. The only exception would be in the case where you are already married in which case reframing a marriage relationship may be preferable to divorce rape.

jeebusthecat · 2013-10-29T05:24:27+00:00

I don't mean to be terse, but your comments lead me to believe that you have self-esteem issues and/or clinical depression. On one hand you say there's no area in your life to improve upon, except relationships, but on the other you say you can't help but feel utterly worthless. These ideas are incongruent. Your self worth should have nothing to do with the endorsement (or non-endorsement) of women. You need to GYOW and find meditation or god or therapy or rock climbing or psychotropics or whatever it takes to overcome (manage) this depression to the point you can objectively evaluate and be satisfied in yourself (or at least trajectory). Only then can you divorce yourself from outcome, just be the awesome you you want to be, and they will come.

FortunateBum · 2013-10-29T01:48:16+00:00

Don't chase women. You'll be a lot happier. MGTOW.

cossackman · 2013-10-28T20:32:36+00:00

MGTOW is superior to Redpill / PUA. PUA always inflate the appearance of their woman. When a PUA says he just slayed a 6/10 - the woman he refers to is a strong 4/10 in the eyes of every other man.

Neil Strauss is said to be the King of Pickup Artists and yet he ended up with a "Penny" lookalike from the Big Bang Theory. Strauss is engaged to a strong butterface.

http://www.contactmusic.com/pics/le/celebs_at_trinity_college_040511/ingrid-de-la-o_5648473.jpg

If Game and PUA was real - how come Strauss didn't end up with a model with 9/10 facial aethestics?

PUA is a worthless conclusion towards women and it's why most PUA get burned out of 40. PUA requires a lot of time, money and energy and you get burned out after awhile. The reality is no game or steroids will turn you into an alpha - it's all pyschological and you can't fake it until you make it. Sure you can win over some naive women but not the bulk of them.

MockingDead · 2013-10-29T01:07:45+00:00

Every man needs a spce where he can be "weak" -that is, he can let his frame slip off, put on his pajamas, and watch TV.

I plan on having a secret room in my house.

The risk is that pajamas become your frame.

cbarrett1989 · 2013-10-29T05:30:25+00:00

If youre trying that hard all the time you may want to reevaluate what your priorities are. Whe im at work (electrician) i have to be on 100%. No fuck ups, no mistakes. When im home, I ramp that back to maybe 25% because im not a slob or a piece of shit. If im out and about im throttling around 80%. It's not really worth the effort to be 100% on 100% of the time. I refocused on doing things that make me happy and bettering my life. Women shouldnt be the main focus of life and they dont need to be. If you find someone to puruse and they just blow you off then just say fuck it. If you ignore a woman when shes giving you attention they will usually pursue you until they get what they want.

[deleted] · 2013-10-29T07:10:56+00:00

It's called practice dude. The longer you keep the pressure on, the more it will come naturally later.

CapnScumbone · 2013-10-29T07:23:39+00:00

they're the enemy. save your wars for the very, very few that are worth it. btw, your casual dismissal of the horde will make quite a few throw themselves under your wheels.

take your pick or throw them all away, it's your call.

KissTheBridesmaid · 2013-10-29T13:03:51+00:00

For me the RP was like a weight off my shoulders. I see a lot of people say that Red Pill is for betas who want to become Alphas. Of course this may work, but it is obviously more difficult (as in OP’s case). I believe RP is especially for naturally dominant and assertive men who have been shamed into suppressing their true nature. You might say a naturally dominant man would not so easily be shamed, but here is my answer for you.

Children who show dominant behaviour at a young age are handed an extra portion of shame from adults (especially women). Nobody wants to be seen as having raised a ‘bad’ child and in addition to that there is the moral panic over bullying and sexism that gets everyone else involved as well, including friends parents, teachers and strangers at the shopping mall.

It is ESPECIALLY the kids who would have grown up to be Red Pill that were taught to behave blue pill. I was one of these and I see them everywhere. Strong, courageous guys who have the ability to lead men, to dominate rooms and to be assertive, but they hold themselves back from doing so because they believe it is bad or politically incorrect. And seeing these guys getting friendzoned, manipulated and used (often to make ME jealous) sometimes really pisses me off. But hey, more for me  Anyways, for me the Red Pill has been a way to get back to my true nature. No, I do not find it tiresome.

MasterGoshinki · 2014-01-04T19:25:12+00:00

I can't help but feel utterly worthless. I feel like RP is just making me not want to deal with women, because no matter how much I change, they never will. Maybe I just have an RP facade and deep down I'm still BP.

possible, I used to be just like you. everything you said here, I have experienced. How I dealt with the concept of slipping up is that, literally I convinced myself that the person I put out there, was myself.

I hope that kinda helps, I am just getting back on the horse myself. Had a really tough year last year, and was just so sick of everything that I had to take a break, thought I would try to get girls by being genuine. Which should not be that hard because I have lots of nifty attributes and I am not a bad looking guy, but I just kept getting rolled, and finally and truly, even more than before I decided to 100% be TRP.

Before, again, being half and half, I was pretty decent, but I just have had some extreme bullshit laid at my feet, I'm saddling back up, with a no fucks given attitude

[deleted] · 2013-10-29T00:01:02+00:00

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[deleted] · 2013-10-28T20:37:42+00:00

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chiminage · 2013-10-29T01:09:31+00:00

dont listen to red pill. all you need to do is just be 100 percent honest about what you say. girls don't like guys who hide their intentions. if you act 100 percent honest to yourself you will filter out women who want something else and find a girl whi is into you much quicker.

curtainmuglamp · 2013-10-29T01:22:14+00:00

downvoted

[deleted] · 2013-10-29T16:25:25+00:00

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JohnnK · 2013-10-30T18:12:45+00:00

Just accept that you are BP, and make the best of it. You shouldn't have to put this much effort into RP. It's just not who you are.

Title	Red Pill Fatigue
Author	jeebusthecat
Upvotes	72
Comments	73
Date	October 28, 2013 8:05 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1perqr/red_pill_fatigue/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/red-pill-fatigue.7526 https://theredarchive.com/post/7526

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