I am going to start this post by stating that women have a threshold for looks. Once you meet those standards, it comes down to an X factor.

Let me retrogress a moment. I am a 20 year old college student. One of my best friends is 6'1", ~8% body fat, chiseled face, jacked, stylish, rich, a natural leader and a good guy (far from an asshole). You would think that a guy like him would be dripping in bitches, but he's not. His game is terrible. He gets asked out by girls, but usually the girls that ask him out, aren't that attractive. He has an advantage in that he rarely gets rejected for dates with attractive girls though. However, his relationship don't last long, the max he's dated a girl for is a month. A lot of girls usually give him only one date, and turn him down after. You would think that with aesthetics like that you can't fuck it up, but he manages to do it.

The other day I read Archwinger's post on Always hiding your effort and this morning I read Don't forget to have fun and it really made me realize how I am no longer having fun on dates, and that's why my game has been really shitty lately. Girls are leaving dates early on me and nexting me faster than the drop of a hat.

Me and the friend I mentions are hard working guys. At the gym, were the type of guys that bust out that extra rep, sprint the extra mile, stay up all night to overachieve in our classes. I was wondering how guys like us are doing so bad with girls. Why are we not giving women tingles?

If I hang out with a girl and I felt that she was awkward, or I didn't think she was attractive, she can spam my phone all she wants, I'm not even going to bother responding. I don't respond because I am not interested, and I am so indifferent about her that I feel that just responding to her is a waste of my time and a chore. And, she never crosses my mind again. I am sure that that is how I am making women feel. They don't give two shits about me.

There is nothing wrong with the women, it's all fault. One thing I have been doing is exaggerating the domination archtype that exists in the PUA community. I am acting like a robot. On dates, I categorize what a girl says as a shit test, and without even thinking, I say a witty, clever canned response; I have memorized a kino escalation guide for how to escalate to a kiss; And, I am always telling her where were going, and I don't really give them an option for what to do or where to eat during the dates, I control everything. Here is why I think that is wrong, a man shouldn't control every aspect on the date. I was on a date with a girl that wasn't really trying to hold up conversation or talking much. I style kept trying to get her to open up and lead a conversation. I should have just taken the hint, and ended it early. She wasn't talking because she wasn't interested. If a girl is attracted to you, she will make sure you know, and she will do everything in her powers to have a conversation with you, even if its about the stupidest shit ever. Also, you should let a women decided on where and when to go for dates. They usually give me options, and I like doing different things, and it makes them more invested in the date because it was their idea.

Like Archwinger says, in one of his post, you want to work hard, but at the same time pretend that everything comes to you easily. No girl wants to date a try-hard. The best way to do that is by having fun, genuinely having fun, and making it seem like you don't try hard at all.

On the other hand, my friends that aren't as good looking, try-hards, or stylish, they are getting laid more than I. These guys don't know anything about PUA. They don't even do any kino. The things that differ from me and some of those friends is that they are 100% genuine. Being genuine and outcome independent (Some of them are the types of guys that waited a year before having sex with their girlfriend). Those guys go on dates because they genuinely like talking to people. Those guys don't even go for kisses on the dates. Usually what happens is that the girls invite them over after the second date, and the rest is history.

I took one of my friends to a political event last week. He's the type of guy who likes going out to events to talk to people - he really likes talking to people. He met a famous local politician and the politician personally offered him an internship. Other people going up to the politician were asking the politician for the internship and kissing up to him. My friend didn't even know about the internship. He only went up to him to talk about politics and get a picture.

My call to actions is that being genuine (outcome independent) and going on dates just because you like going out and having fun (not coming off as a try hard), will get you further.