Rules for Paying on Dates

Zealousideal_Fee4284 · 2021-02-08T21:26:23+00:00

1st date: Arrive 5-10 min early and order your drink. When she comes she won't expect you to pay cause you already have your drink.

arakouzo · 2021-02-08T18:39:46+00:00

This is more complex than necessary.

1st date is always drinks, never a meal. If by the end of the date she's not down or you've blown it, you suggest splitting the bill. If by the end of the date she's down or you think you've got a shot, you settle the tab and get out of there with her.

If paying for two drinks is some kind of huge and unforgivable investment, you need to get your finances in order.

Obviously, if you're taking a girl out for steak dinner, that's a dumb investment. But paying for a couple of drinks once you're sure she's down? Just settle the tab and take her home.

HorvathRed · 2021-02-08T20:32:03+00:00

If she offers to pay for me, I ALWAYS let her. So far, I have gotten laid every time they've done this so I take it as a sign of high interest.

True. Also times when I've had first dates where my side of the bill was noticeably higher than theirs and they still insist on splitting 50/50 rather than what each ordered.

Girls aren't usually keen on paying for strangers, so if she does, it's pretty much a guarantee she liked you and had a good time thus far.

linkofinsanity19 · 2021-02-08T23:01:39+00:00

I NEVER do dinner dates for first dates because I don’t like wasting money on food that I have to guess the macros of. It’s only something I do I feel like doing with a plate

based and toolazytoaskfornutritioninfo-pilled

319Skew · 2021-02-09T01:14:45+00:00

319skew's FR summary/review (not really a FR but whatever):

~~Rules for Paying on Dates~~

OP's modern guide to frugal dating

Coffee is a very cost effective first date drink. You can save money by bringing your own cup. Most teen baristas will not put up a fight if you say you were there earlier or say that you want to speak to their manager.

Dates can be expensive. Try to keep it as close to under $3 dollars as possible. More savings results in more dates!

Always let her pay! You can increase the odds of this by not bringing a wallet.

Women wear usually wear heels and can't outrun staff if you dine and dash. Use this to your advantage to maintain a head start. Just like in the wild with lions. The staff will always go after the slowest one.

Some places charge for water. Be sure to ask the server prior to ordering a glass.

You can share a meal to build up romance.

You can invite a woman over and order in. Say that you can't find your wallet and keep the leftovers for a free meal the next day.

Women leave things around all the time. Store them in a box. When a plate is behaving, feel free to give her a present from the selection you have stored. This has also the added benefit of clearing up space.

If the date is going south, pretend that you got a call from family about how your mom has fallen down a flight of stairs and needs medical attention. Rush out before she can comprehend what's going on. She'll pay the bill and not bring it up because of the social pressure not to be insensitive towards your emergency.

Hope this helped.

Edited: Adjusted title to something less likely to upset reddit overlords.

Edit 2: It seems that I have upset OP by agreeing with him. I'm going to have to score this field report that's not really a field report only two stars of David. This hurts.

OP has some radical ideas like not being a meal ticket, and instead of revolutionizing the dating market, he's chosen not to sell this in a book but give it out for free. The anathema of value.

However, he was so upset that he posted a snarky comment. Waited 10 minutes and then posted another snarky comment. I've only seen women spurred react this way.

OP: If you are reading this, I'd like to say that you did a great job. I value your ability to get laid, but you need to relax a bit. You can't get stressed out and downvote or take offense to strangers online giving you constructive criticism.

MattyAnon · 2021-02-08T20:33:57+00:00

I was totally with this post until:

but I usually don't mind paying if they've been pleasant

For myself I just refuse to pay for girls. Why should I? Paying kills attraction and sets the traditional boyfriend/girlfriend tone of "man provides, woman plays hard to get". Paying devalues me in her eyes. It turns me into a provider.

If she doesn't want to go halves on a date then she we can go straight to my place. If she doesn't want to fuck me then there's no point dating her.

Fundamentally I know that paying puts me in an unattractive beta/provider role.

I am not going to part with good cash in exchange for less sex. Her being good doesn't change this equation.

linkofinsanity19 · 2021-02-09T02:56:28+00:00

[deleted]

Woujo · 2021-02-10T15:45:49+00:00

My rules:

1- First date is always drinks.

2- I always offer to pay for the first round because she took the time to come out and meet me for a date. The expectation is that I am not paying for anything expensive.

3- If she is into me, she will try to pay for the first round. I usually say no and say "you can get the next round" but if she is very insistent I let her pay for the first round. If she pays for the first round, I pay for the second round. If she pays for the first round, I let her pay for the second round. We then take turns paying for rounds until the end of the date.

4- If she is not into me and/or she has made no real effort to try to pay for the first or second round, I don't offer a second round. If she insists on a second round, she can pay. In very rare situations I will pay for two rounds in a row if she is very into me, but never three.

5- I never pay for anything else: (parking, concert tickets, etc...) unless she buys me something equivalent first.

6- No dinner till we are fucking and in an exclusive relationship

7- If she is at my house she can drink and eat for free.

Generally speaking, it is not good to look like a tightass with money or like you have some chip on your shoulder about paying. At the same time, you don't want to look like a mark that is there to serve her or buy her things. Generally speaking, I look at paying for things on a date like hanging out with a friend. I will pay for a round of drinks when hanging out with my friends but I won't buy all their drinks all night.

2021-02-10T01:04:40+00:00

I always pay, don't give a shit, doesn't stop me from getting laid.

I make way more money than most chicks, I lose more money in my couch then what it cost for their drink.

intl_plyrs_clb · 2021-02-14T21:00:10+00:00

I'll add my take on it:

Yes to not doing dinner / sit across from each other dates. I used to do those in my early dating days... 3-course meals and all that, spending close to $70+. What a waste. Now I strictly sit at the bar. No space at the bar? We're going somewhere else.
First dates are generally at a low-key bar...a spot I frequent and I know some of the bartenders.
I get there early, order myself a drink and hand my card over. If I don't know the bartender I'll tell them to just add my date's order to my bill.
Max two drinks for each of us, max two finger food bar snacks. Generally, after one drink I can weave in an excuse to leave/go back to my place.
Bill normally comes in at around $25 which is nothing for my budget, so I'm comfortable with paying. Normally bill shows up with it already swiped on my card, waiting for me to sign, while the girl does the "Oh let's split" charade. I wave her away like I'm busy doing important work and just sign the bill.
I think most guys choke and stumble on the bill part of the date whether they pay or if she offers to pay. My key takeaway is that whatever you do, do it with confidence. Key thing is to make a choice, do it, and get right back to talking because you've done this before, you know she's into you and the bill is an inconsequential part of the night. Media makes it seem like a large ordeal but it's not.
Also you can control the narrative by throwing in a "You can pay at the next bar" Or whatever.

TLDR: Stop overthinking the bill and just do whatever you feel like. Don't go for expensive first dates.

FirefighterHour2512 · 2021-02-09T05:43:28+00:00

Dude calm down you sound like a virgin

mandathor · 2021-02-09T10:46:31+00:00

do you tell the waiter to split the bill before asking her if its okey?

gudinn · 2021-02-09T11:22:09+00:00

Couldn't agree more with you. I never take a girl out for dinner on a first date. My first choice is always alcoholic drinks to hopefully get in the mood for that evening, I usually pay those because a few beers or cider is definitely not that expensive. Also I'm getting more tipsy so the 10 dollars of drinks are not something im concerned about. Most girl offer to pay for half the drinks anyways, most of the time it goes something like: I pay for the first two, she pays for the second two etc.

If she's not much of a drinker I'd either take her out for coffee or invite her to my place for a homecooked meal.

Buying her a coffee won't cost much, If she decides to order food, she has to pay for that! It's exactly as you said, I don't want to set an example of me paying for all her stuff. She has to understand if she want to order a 10 dollar sandwich I aint paying for that.

Giving her a home cooked meal doesn't cost me shit and with a bit of luck I can impress her with my cooking. (Or at least show her im capable of taking care of myself)

Never take a girl out for dinner on a first date! I always cringe so hard when I watch first dates on TV and the guy just pays for the 100 dollar dinner to 5 minutes later him being rejected. Imagine what u could have done with that 100 dollars.. so many coffee dates..

_donkenstein_ · 2021-02-15T22:03:01+00:00

This is interesting.

I just got back from Mexico. Took all my dates out to dinner and picked up the bill. Bedded them all the same evening as dinner.

This is something I love about Mexico and Latin America: women will go to bed fast with what they perceive to be a high value male.

armenian_UwUcide · 2021-02-09T00:37:24+00:00

How you can you consider yourself a long term follower of this sub but then actually pay for a date?

I set expectations from the start: I won’t pay for shit on a date unless it’s something I feel like buying. For myself. Oftentimes I might even ask if she has money to toss into the cause. If she can pay, then congratulations, you know she’s not interested in you as a Beta Bux; you’re the revolutionary prostitute who turned the table and she’s the buyer.

I don’t want, even for a split second, the girl to think she can bribe me for money with sex. I also filter out gold diggers that way because fuck that noise.

If she’s not treating you like the fine piece of ass you are OP, she’s not for you. Simple.

Domebeers · 2021-02-08T23:22:41+00:00

I like this post, short, concise, generally ok.

My only quibble: Why are you taking girls on boring dates?

I would suggest not going to coffee dates, like, ever. Same with dinner dates. Boring and stale. Provider frame.

dachengchuan · 2021-02-08T18:22:22+00:00

my only rule is i pay my stuff, she pays hers. period. any other arrangement means for me she is a prostitute

linkofinsanity19 · 2021-02-09T03:58:48+00:00

[deleted]

linkofinsanity19 · 2021-02-08T18:21:48+00:00

[deleted]

muricanwerewolf1 · 2021-02-09T04:10:03+00:00

Coffee dates or any kind of day date is like interviewing to go on a real date. It's an extra step you don't need, and it actually works against you because a fully sober, interview style day date is so fucking boring you might as well toss a handful of kitty litter on her snizz.

Title	Rules for Paying on Dates
Author	linkofinsanity19
Upvotes	168
Comments	85
Date	February 8, 2021 5:22 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/lfgpy6/rules_for_paying_on_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/rules-for-paying-on-dates.746163 https://theredarchive.com/post/746163

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OP's modern guide to frugal dating