Apologies for the rant. This is weak-ass, non-red pill shit. But while I know this is offtopic and uninteresting to most of you, there's really nowhere else I can go with this.

I misjudged you all. I thought you were weak for not being willing to engage your critics. I thought you were cowardly for not being willing to give answers to TBP challenges. I thought it was chickenshit for not being willing to debate them.

I get it now. My skin is too damn thin for the Internet. Or for real life for that matter. But I understand why you don't want to talk to them. And I understand why you recommend using alts.

I still don't consider myself a "red piller". It's just not my thing. The gains aren't worth fully accepting the worldview to me.

But I'll tell you what I do have. Respect for those of you, and it's not all, but I think it's the majority, who are decent and civil and just looking to talk. It's incredible to me how much hatred this place gets. I mean, it's understandable given what they call you. But given what I've read here, those claims aren't true. You aren't rapists. You don't advocate hating women. You just do two things which are unacceptable to the outside world: (a) you don't like feminism and (b) you don't think men and women are interchangeable.

Anyhow, like I said, this is just an offtopic rant. I can't handle the tiny, tiny taste of the hatred I've gotten. I frankly don't understand how redpillschool, or many of the rest of you, do it. It takes an incredibly thick skin.

As for me...I'm feeling more unstable and closer to killing myself than I have in a long time. I can't handle being in the middle of this damn war anymore. I've got to go decompress offline for a while.

Best of luck to you all. Try not to stoop to your opponents' level. Be as civil as you can. I know it's not your primary objective, but trust me, it's more important than you can realize. Remember that everyone is human.

Enough of my spew.

/rant

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

Edit: Thank you guys. I'll work on my not giving a fuck. Going to go indulge in some unconsciousness now.

Edit 2: Okay, thanks everyone. Including the moderate TBP poster who PM'd me. I'm a lot more calm but I've got a lot to think about. Not deleting this account because I think it's clean. I'm going to go hit the road now and try to let this go into the subconscious to process for a while. I hope to see y'all again. Don't worry about my attention-seeking behavior: I'm not going to hurt myself. I get suicidal fantasies when I'm stressed, but it's been years since I was close to acting on it.

Everyone's support has meant a lot. Thank you all for reaching out.

/bow

o7

(I read all replies; if I didn't respond to you, I didn't have anything to add)