Social NPC

grass_cutter · 2023-09-12T18:37:39+00:00

You sperg out because you feel pressure to say something witty or interesting.

Don’t. Say something stupid, or real, or whatever.

Ask her if she knows where the nearest library is. With no follow up. No reason. … or just say anything.

Are you not curious about people?

marc_nawwer · 2023-09-12T18:31:18+00:00

Been there, you gotta grow some character. Acknowledge your accomplishments and progress man, you've come really far and still improving, stop carrying the self image of the guy you were few years ago, shape your reality. Stare to the wall for an hour and let go of the bs in your head.
Have control over your monke brain, even if you are borderline autistic as long as you don't break frame you will get pussy. More info just read the sidebar or watch some Patrice o Neal tapes idk, tho at the end of the day what will determine your progress is taking action

GivMeLiberty · 2023-09-12T19:10:25+00:00

Grow your self esteem. This is hard to do in your shoes when you’re a virgin and actively admitting to yourself you sperg out. Focus on the fact that you’re hot shit now, you’re getting attention from girls (something that very few men garnish), you’re getting into law, you’re in the gym. You are and will continue to be a catch on this trajectory and women are already acknowledging it.
Trust your social instincts. When you have built up some self esteem, you can start to trust yourself enough to stop thinking so damn much about what to say. Let the words come out of your mouth without thinking much. Focus on speaking with conviction rather than on what you’re actually saying.
Refine those social instincts. Sure, you don’t got the kahunas to talk to smoke show girls right now. “Flirt” with the rest of the world. Fat cashiers. Random strangers who you’re not attracted to. Men. Learn to develop some wit so that the shit you do say when you’re with an attractive women is actually some quality game.

I think a lot of red pill encourages just jumping in the deep end and engaging with every 11/10 girl you see. That’ll work, but you’ll prob ding your own confidence a lot along the way. I think it’s pretty unrealistic, especially for you as a virgin, to expect to be able to go for the moon right out the gate.

yesidoes · 2023-09-12T19:49:47+00:00

Honestly, the trick is to initially treat the girls the same way you would if a guy came up to you. Don't fawn, don't try to act cool, just interact with them as normal people. If the interactions don't lead to anything, don't sweat it. Keep an abundance mentality and realize that there are countless other women to meet. Eventually things will start to click.

You sound like you already have a good foundation. Talking to women is another skill and it takes quite a while to master. Sometimes I think back to the times I totally whiffed on baddies in my early 20's and wish I had the conversational skills I have today. Then I realize that I would've never gained these skills without making and learning from the blunders along the way.

You'll be fine.

Herdsengineers · 2023-09-12T19:50:38+00:00

Is there a toastmasters chapter nearby? Might help. Or think of a gimick to help you start talking.

I knew a guy once that modeled himself on his favorite actor. He watched all that guy's movies and quotes or inspiration from things that reminded him of some movie in any particular situation is how he opened. It was not perfect, not always well calibrated, but it got him going until he grew his confidence and didn't need a gimick anymore.

oiamo123 · 2023-09-12T22:01:34+00:00

You're too focused inwardly. Shift your focus more outwardly and have a calm curiosity about people. "What do they do for work", "Where do they live", "Where would they like to live" "what would they like to do for work". Once your focus becomes more outward rather than inward, you won't be so worried about what you're going to say next.

CrimsonMoonz · 2023-09-12T20:09:19+00:00

I'm not here to give you a lesson in confidence, I'm here to tailor advice to you.

Try this: Next time a girl approaches you and you feel awkward, respond very plainly: "You're too pretty, I can't talk to you," and WALK AWAY. Delivery is important. You have to be sincere. You have to walk away.

Let her chase you. She will be even more attracted to you and will develop a higher tolerance for awkward behavior (initially, this won't last forever) because she will think you're sweet instead of a derp. The awkwardness actually builds tension in a favorable way because it appears innocent.

It takes time to develop rapport, so there's no need to rush anything to be comfortable with each other. However, you will need to eventually take the reins and take the first step to ask her out. If you don't lead the relationship, she will walk all over you.

jtco_9 · 2023-09-12T23:01:08+00:00

It’s funny how guys who are very antisocial and never been outside meeting women think you gotta be this badass asshole with a perfect line to actually talk to a girl, when in reality it’s only about saying “ hey how you doing” and start a conversation going like normal humans do, the only difference is that you like the girl and want to fuck her so you gonna direct that interaction towards that end. You got the attention of women what else you need? I would’ve say approach, ask questions, make your intentions clear and find out, you don’t need anything else.

InvestorDFV · 2023-09-13T06:26:49+00:00

read -> Magic Bullets: 2nd Edition Paperback – July 21, 2009 by Savoy

Great resource when I was your age, the pua scene gets alot of hate but the framework and workflow are excellent fundamentals. The reason pua gets hate is due to the memorizations of lines and other antics, just follow the structure while incorporating your personality.

Also, continue to grind school and working out, you are going through a new experience and will adapt, ie you have the awareness that you say dumb shit..... most of us remember this stage and still cringe at the things that came out LOL

Have fun with the process, develop hobbies and start talking to more gils to ease the pressure

momomotorboat · 2023-09-13T17:06:48+00:00

There is NOTHING wrong with you. You've been focused on the journey, and along the way you've hit a milestone/destination. No one has it all figured out, esp not at 22. Keep going, more good things are coming.

Good on you for doing what most people don't - which is showing up, doing the work and getting results. Keep it up. Seriously, keep it up.

Sounds like you're doing a lot of shit you like, but also you're unsure how you ought to feel in this situation, with the newfound attention and such. I hate to break it to you - no one here can answer that for you. To sound like some stupid movie, that answer comes from within, given time and putting in the work.

NOW - having said that, you're a virgin, which I'm not here to shame you for and you should not judge yourself on that metric.

Still, given that fact, knowing what you want with women will be hard to ascertain until you've had more experience with them. What I want with women, what I find attractive, has changed several times with experience and years.

So, how to get started? Well, that does include having to do some talking.

I recommend watching the scene from Mission Impossible 3, where Hunt (Cruise) talks about his fake job at the Dept of Transportation. The point? It often does NOT fucking matter what the topic is. It's about the experience. Read any material about game, talking to women, etc and you'll see countless examples of dudes saying patently ridiculous shit to women, but their charisma and presence make it work. Literally there was a story about a guy saying to random women at a bar "Can I pee in your butthole?" That was his intro.

Am I recommending that you try to copy Tom Cruise's speech patterns and facial expressions? No. Am I recommending that you say wild shit to people? Also no.

What I'm saying is you sperg and blank because you "don't know what to say." And I'm telling you it doesn't matter what you say. Almost anything that comes to mind in that moment is perfectly adequate. Say what you want. Leave when you want. Have some pre-planned material or don't. Claw your way through it, make mistakes, figure it out with the reps and misfires.

You know how you couldn't quite understand what a pump or burn or DOMS would feel like until you did the reps, and your body started to feel different? And there's no real way to understand what being swole was until you did the reps? That's talking to chicks.

So go put in the reps.

PS - My only REAL advice is to never lose yourself for anyone, including a woman. DO NOT get complacent and stop lifting, even if she's the woman you intend to marry. And never NEVER get someone pregnant until you're all the way ready to change diapers and give up a massive portion of your life for a minimum of 18 years. Also, drugs and getting arrested are bad, mmkay.

Good luck.

Slovka · 2023-09-12T22:20:09+00:00

Girls approach you?!?!? Broda mans been lifting for 6 years able to bang out muscle ups constantly but no girl has ever approached me in 23 years meanwhile you getting 10+?…..in a year?…..girls?….women?…. Gym girls??? What on Earth g

Are you 6foot+ or something

like what????

ProFriendZoner · 2023-09-12T23:50:45+00:00

Ask "What's good in your life?"

terrandatassup · 2023-09-14T00:44:59+00:00

Extremely practical tip here. Watch some movies with a really attractive, masculine main character. James Bond, Tony Stark the list is endless. Observe body language, tonality, playful banter etc.

And then practice what I call "the art of not blowing it". You don't have to be perfect. Just don't be weird. The desirable men in these movies have already attracted the women with their aura, then simply have a normal conversation.

Exotic-Bell2709 · 2023-09-15T07:21:59+00:00

Like an AI model, learning and training on data with one set after the other, your brain simply needs to have enough moments where you 'sperg out', and then combine that with examples of what others do, from real life or movies or reading, and the problem will fix itself. Just a matter of time.

TheTastelessBatman · 2023-09-12T22:03:54+00:00

Ignore woman for now. Get successful. Boosts your confidence sky high and then you will actually have some real shit to say. Right now you probably get weirded out as your life might be boring and hence, you have nothing interesting to say. Just speak to them how you’d speak to any other man. It’s easy.

Petrofskydude · 2023-09-12T22:55:01+00:00

Tell them a compliment- could be as simple as "you're pretty". Then say "...but I have a girlfriend, so I have to go now." Then walk away. If you have a better idea in the moment, try that, but this is a good stock line to give them what they want without committing. An innocent lie.

Impressive-Bicycle · 2023-09-13T08:14:41+00:00

You just understood that the tools you’ve built for yourself e.g weightlifting or perhaps skin care etc etc These are just opener to à meet up with a girl. Now you gotta build personality, hobbies and shit and then you’ll have things to talk about. Cuz if you’re just good looking then you’ll just be a piece of meat

deez-nuts36 · 2023-09-13T14:45:36+00:00

As I get older I learn that the less seriously you take what you say it the better it is. If you meet someone on your wavelength, they’ll get you even if you’re being unserious. But remember even if you do get married you only really want 1 wife anyway…so there’s no point in worrying about what to say to every girl that you approach/ approaches you

enkae7317 · 2023-09-15T02:41:22+00:00

I've been there, maybe still am. I literally gymed up (was previous a skinny nerd, glasses, everything, the whole 9-yards) and for the first time recently had a woman come up to me and talk to me and give me a compliment. Like STRONG come on "you're very handsome" type comments. I froze up and couldn't talk back lol.

SavorThePill · 2023-09-15T07:51:14+00:00

Read the sidebar. It sounds like you've only paid attention to the lift part--and little else.

From what I've seen over the years, I would honestly say that game is more important than lifting. I've seen little guys with little arms pull. Fat dudes pulling too.

Being big and strong is really more about peacocking. Halo effect is definitely a thing.

You can also find perspectives on your same situation through using the sidebar here. You would've found more on AskTRP, but I think it got the ban hammer.

Sympraxis · 2023-09-15T22:59:37+00:00

There is no magic bullet. Just try something. The best policy is to be frank without being sexual or vulgar. Your basic objective is to create a connection of some kind, so try to find a commonality. Never talk about mundane bullshit like the weather or your job or school or stuff like that.

The one trick I can recommend is to dive deeper. What this means is to just keep exploring whatever topic has already occurred. For example, let's say a girl is looking at you, then you can walk up to her and ask, "What makes me so interesting?" Whatever she says, you just dive deeper. For example, if she says, "Well, I notice you never seem to have any friends... at least around you." Then you own it and dive deeper: "Yeah, I do ok without too many friends. There's more to life than friends, don't you think?" Whatever it is, just keep exploring it deeper.

To escalate, be frank and never comment on her looks ever, only her behavior or choices. For example, "I like the way you walk. It's like you own the place. Want to go steady?" It's a joke, sort of, but she will get the message and however she answers will lead to the next step.

Another important tip: never try to move her to some isolated place. Stay in places with a lot of people around so she feels safe and make your moves right then and there. If she touches you or leans towards you, that's the green light. Kiss her right in the union hall, or classroom or hallway or whatever. Don't try to make "dates", just kiss right wherever you are, if you are getting the green light. When you go for the first kiss, go 90% of the way and let her come the last 10%. If you are like 1 inch from her face and she freezes up, just whisper, "Come on, kiss me, do it."

Major_Arm_1262 · 2023-09-17T16:58:30+00:00

Stop watching porn
Try acid

'you should go outside more and talk to some people' what kind of advice is that?

Title	Social NPC
Author	One-County5409
Upvotes	88
Comments	46
Date	September 12, 2023 5:20 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/16gx85g/social_npc/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/social-npc.1231578 https://theredarchive.com/post/1231578

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