I somewhat recently experienced a personal loss (death) that obviously showed up in my body language and facial expressions at work. The grieving process is a part of life, and something that can't always be hidden. An older female co-worker saw this and spoke to me about it on several occassions. I appreciated her concern, and the fact that she asked. The problem was, everytime she would ask me how I was feeling, the interaction went straight to her telling a story of when something bad happened to her and how she felt about it. She did it three or four times, and each time 85% to 90% of our interaction was her recounting a story of her life and how she felt during that time. I became conscious of this and purposely would answer one of her stories with what I was going through, and half of the time she didn't respond to it and went right back to her story.

Another female friend of mine called me to see how I was doing over said loss. The first 10% of the interaction was me telling her what happened and her listening, then the next 89% of the interaction was her telling me about her thinking her boyfriend is cheating on her. The final 1% of the discussion went like this: "Sorry for talking about myself the whole time, I feel ba." Which was really nothing more than a way for her to feel better about being selfish, but she knew she had to get it off of her chest I'm sure. I grew up with this girl, so I don't really care, but it was more funny than anything else. She called again a few days later, and this time it was 100% her telling me that she caught her bf cheating through texts. Good thing the funeral was that day and I didn't feel like shit, or else she may have felt bad for 3 seconds.

Since then I've noticed much more than I ever did before - I guess I always knew it unconsciously, but now it's even more present than ever - that solipsism is ever present in a woman's mind. Sure, she may feel bad for you for a second or two, but that will just lead her to remembering feelings of her own loss and those will trump yours in a conversation.

Don't expect anything different when a woman supposedly expresses concern if you're hurting. While they may go into the conversation with good intentions, it will quickly turn into a conversation about her.

Are there women who will have a genuine concern for your well being and really listen to what you say? Sure, but it's rare. They will most likely be women who have a lower SMV than you do, and use the interaction as a way to feel close to you, or they're family members. Maybe a little old lady that's known you since you were born, but otside of those examples, expect the above.

If you really want some comfort and understanding, go talk to your favorite uncle, your old man, your brother, or a trusted bro. In the end, you're probably going to feel shittier after hearing a chick tell you some dumbass story about how her best friend called her fat once, and that situation is somehow on par with how you're feeling about someone close to you dying. Remember, feelings trump all with them. Tis not logic, nor reason, nor empathy. It's the feels, and when the hamster moves, the puppet follows.

Edit: Some of you guys seem to be confused. These examples were not women going: "I understand how you feel, when X happened to me, I went through a tough time and know how hard it can be" then telling me their story. It was nothing of the sort. I had a heartbeat that had an ear, and my situation did not factor into their logic, they just saw it as an opportunity to talk about themselves, nothing more.