Stop Crying About Your Friends

david_kimba · 2015-10-29T19:57:19+00:00

Perfect example of a missaplied philosphy is when someone knows a shitload more than you about a subject you like or are interested in, or maybe you have to work together on it. What does a tryhard jackass do?

Ruin a perfect opportunity to absorb knowledge and become a better person by trying to be alpha as fuck.

I don't care how beta that guy is, with his little arms, his fragile body and soft voice and air of virginity, if he is good at what he does and he is willing to teach me something i am gonna shut the fuck up, give him the respect he deserves, pay attention and treat him good and listen. I may learn a thing or two. And yeah if it means im gonna be beta on that field on that very moment then so be it. You cant compete on every fucking thing you do against everyone and try to outalpha the shit out of everyone.

Invalidity · 2015-10-29T17:23:26+00:00

The problem is inherent in men: we have a desire for things with potential to develop. That is why many men stick it out with horrible partners, or why men commit to bad circumstances, etc.

That is also why TRP tells men to keep what they pick up here to themselves. Yeah, we feel good about this shit and we want to share it, but many newbies don't realize that this isn't socially acceptable information. TRP heavily goes against the grain, and the material presented is "triggering" to many people, even men.

Furthermore, men develop a strong attachment to their current friends, and often have a strong desire to see their friends change in a similar way to themselves. Men who aren't ready for such changes though, will generally either be indifferent to or disapproving of TRP.

Most men here at TRP will not be fond of looking for new friends because it is fairly unknown territory. At a younger age, it's easy, because friendships just happen to "fall into place".

mike_m_ekim · 2015-10-29T18:54:55+00:00

Agreed. You can try to potty train a one-year-old kid and it will take 2 years. Or you can try to potty train a three-year-old kid and it will take a week. (I'm a single dad.) Most of our BP friends just aren't ready.

Edit: Analogy clarification: You can spend years trying to fix your blue pill friend, and it won't do any good. You should wait until he starts seeing the light on his own, and then help him. Trying to help your BP buddies when they aren't ready is like trying to potty train a 1-year old (it's a waste of time). Trying to help your buddies when they are ready to know BP, is like potty training a 3-year old (you will actually help make change for the better).

Sorry for the shatty analogy. Pun intended.

T0000009 · 2015-10-29T19:57:56+00:00

This doesn't show me red pill behavior. This shows me neurotic people who are so in their heads over arbitrary shit, they can't have a good time.

That's the hallmark of the never was and will never be...

Being "boss" or "the man" or "alpha" is so much more than lift brah, daygame brah, spin plates brah... Are you all a bunch of fucking stupid children or what??

get over yourselves and have a good time.

Bingo! Be the best YOU that is possible, if that's some tanned weed smokin surfer, or some starched shirt and monogrammed cuff links kinda guy it's cool... No really... It is... The world isn't powered by pick up lines, chasing skirts and how much sweat you leave on a bench. Be a better and improved version of YOU not some cartoon character spouting the same lines everyone else does. Be an original, memorable, unique, and not a clone of that last 37 jerkboys who overcame some broads LMR just to get your dick wet.

ironblacksmith · 2015-10-29T17:38:14+00:00

I've suffered from this problem personally, although I didn't go as far as to manifest it on the sub. My guess is it stems from the BP tendency to feel superior by making everyone else inferior in your eyes. i.e. "I just discovered this truth, let me tell everyone so they see how enlightened I am and I can feel better about myself" With time, you learn there are other ways.

As for friendships, as you said, I now have people who serve a purpose in my life. They are carefully selected to fulfill certain needs, but I don't try to change anybody anymore, even my high school friends, most of which I have simply dissociated with.

tautologicoxymoron · 2015-10-29T20:43:37+00:00

You speak my mind exactly, although I have to admit that this kind of thinking is part of unplugging to some degree.

When you suddenly wake up to the fact that all the notions and assumptions of how society works are wrong, of course you can get caught up in details and overdo it. That's why I think your post is one of the best I have read on this sub for the past few months.

hirjd · 2015-10-29T21:22:02+00:00

There are two kinds of people. Those who discover who they are and those who decide.

ex_addict_bro · 2015-10-30T01:15:50+00:00

A friend sent me recently a pretty TRP-ish article about divorce, written by a lawyer. My first reaction was, damn, this shit is good, because it's RP... let me send a link to MRP to that friend of mine... NOT. No fucking way. I actually have shown the way to this guy long, long time ago by sending him multiple materials to fix himself up (shrink4men, "no more mr nice guy" pdf and so on); if only he really is into his own personal development, he should have found TRP reddit long time ago.

Actually multiple people ignored my pretty good advice and you know what? Fuck them. And fuck me. I won't point stuff to people no more. Also, I am prone to advice too myself. I'm reading "When I say no I fell guilty" but very, very slow. This is a very good book, I needed it but I was very hesitant to do that.

Maybe that's just human nature.

Mortharis · 2015-10-29T20:49:50+00:00

I just tried to figure out who the 'alpha' is amongst my friends. I seriously cant figure it out. When we are together, we do what friends do, we have fun. No one is in charge, we do what we, as a group, enjoy doing. No one is leading the whole conversation and no one is trying to control anything.

erniesmoove · 2015-10-29T21:41:42+00:00

I disagree. To change is better to exagerate and then calibrate than to make baby steps and never make it. Everyone here is trying to make a positive change, become a leader, become a man. Its trial and error. In the friends matter, i stand by: "if you hang around losers, you become a loser".

theultmatecad · 2015-10-29T23:29:28+00:00

Excellent post, new men should read it twice and avoid the mistakes I made when I unplugged.

I was angry, bitter, and in as much of a monk mode as a working family man could be in. When I did have time with friends I couldn't hold back from sharing and it really is too much for men who are not ready to hear what we know. They called me all sorts of names and couldn't figure out "what happened".

I didn't lose a friend or anything crazy but I sure shocked some folks. It's not the way to go about it.

Best thing you can do is SHOW people how to live and drop crumbs without jargon when asked. At some point my boy /u/RPreborn went all in and is crushing life and never been happier

TLDR....Don't preach TRP, live it. Help only men who ask for help because you can't reach a plugged in man

capt_behindsight · 2015-10-29T22:32:50+00:00

Lead by example so friends find TRP on their own, indirectly through you. People naturally copy those who are successful around them. People don't want to know how it works, takes the 'magic' out of it. TRP is the coding/back end framework, but you should present a charismatic user-friendly interface

isaidkneel · 2015-10-30T00:18:58+00:00

stop crying

lol... could be said for a lot of things on this sub

but i do agree with your original point. a lot times people are looking for any opportunity to put things in a red pill perspective then subsequently complain or becoming agitated when the behavior of others doesnt match the frame

Fir3start3r · 2015-10-30T01:16:41+00:00

Sounds like another level of maturing needs to be achieved.
It's great that there are men out there feeling positive about the changes that are going on in their lives as a direct result of the TRP mantra and we don't mind a few field reports and questions, but lets have some humility too.
And OP is right, no need to be a dick about your new found ways either to your friends. TRP doesn't require evangelists.
The proof of your TRP endeavors will be self-evident to those around you. Those that really want to know will ask when they're ready.
And that's the rub right there. When. They're. Ready.

Theophagist · 2015-10-30T03:35:01+00:00

I am mostly a lurker around here but this is some serious "no duh" material. Exercising classical manners and politeness (rather than niceness) is a cornerstone of my frame, and that includes not being a dick and defining for my friends what makes them a real man.

red-curry · 2015-10-29T20:17:20+00:00

I just recently commented on a post where a guy got invited out by old friends from before he read the sub, and he spent the whole night trying to establish dominance, emulating the perceived "alpha", and overthinking conversation at a bar.

This was an excellent field report in which OP did not bitch about his friends, or tried to become the pack leader. He just shared with us how TRP made him aware of the social dynamics.

TRP tells you to lift so you go to the gym and train.

TRP tells you to approach so you go out and train.

TRP tells you to become socially dominant so you... go out and have a good time and forget everything you read here about your attitude and posture and speech?

Jaereth · 2015-10-29T21:01:45+00:00

Ive never discussed any of this with my friends. They talk about how frustrated they are with women while I used to be in their shoes but now am not. Those attitudes and practices have also bolstered my career as well.

Heres my thing, if they ever asked for advice, id tell them what they want to know. But common, what guy really deep down doesnt know that building A muscular, masculine body at the gym and acting like a leader will help him socially. This sub is more like an organized gameplan to that end rather than some secret tome.

My conclusion: most bitch boys know how to not be bitch boys, they really do. They just dont want to put the work in.

Op2mus · 2015-10-30T05:17:51+00:00

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume most of the guys that have this issue are fairly young. I'm talking about young men of the ages 18 to probably 27-ish here. I was 18 once and thought I was a grown man, I couldn't have been further from the truth. The fact is you must be young and stupid before you can be old and wise(for most at least).

TRP helps young men learn from older, wiser, more experienced MEN that have been there and done that; however, many new to TRP will dive in head first and think they are an expert way before they can even wipe their own ass.(NOT saying I'm an expert, just have seen many that are clueless here and preaching like they are the second coming)

If it's a business/networking situation, there is no reason you can't "take advantage of the situation." A RP tactic I suppose, while at the same time just making new friends and enjoying yourself. I've observed many EXTREMELY successful men do this. But, if you are going into your old high school group of friends and trying to establish RP tactics around guys... That just sounds pathetic and like a complete waste of time.

Half the reason RP exists is because women and men want completely different things, men need to understand what women actually want. The other half is self improvement, in other words, you improve yourself while increasing your self confidence at the same time. Rant over...

Iseeacloud · 2015-10-29T19:28:14+00:00

I agree wholeheartedly, and your post merits worth and teaching for me.

However, at least in my case and other's I suspect, if your eyes are opened you will be painfully aware that those you care about and are close to are still living in darkness.

And you scheme the right time to show them.

And then realize that they have to learn on their own.

And it drives a wedge.

Because it is painful to watch friends mired in confusion when you have the answers, knowing full well even if you explained they wouldn't understand.

That is all.

Ezekgaraq · 2015-10-29T21:54:49+00:00

Honestly, I wish i could give a Million votes, you found TRP cuz you needed help.

Lets your friends find it when they need help, this sub is also about helping each other

Scott_WWS · 2015-10-29T23:48:08+00:00

Two thoughts:

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. If your BP buddies can't just see and learn from your example, they aren't yet ready for the RP.

A wise colleague at work once told me, "If everyone was as smart as you, where would you be? Don't give advice to people, save it for yourself." And so, just use RP ideas for yourself, why share with BPs?

herewehoagain · 2015-10-29T23:59:45+00:00

I've discussed this with some folks on here before. Nothing more beta and pathetic than weak fuck friends that will cut you down the one chance you get. Unfortunately, there's very little to filter the enlightened from the delusional fucks on here. The sad truth is that a large portion of turds on here are simply looking for times when statements agree with their weak, bitchy ways. That will include, sudden self-importance masked as intelligence. Followed by fucking over those they are jealous of.

Fuggernugger · 2015-10-30T01:29:47+00:00

The thing about social hierarchies is that only a few can be at the top. If everyone was an alpha, society would rip apart at the seams.

therhymerr · 2015-10-30T05:01:45+00:00

Idk man I can see friends as the biggest obstacle to accepting the red pill. always seeing controlling relationships, doing whatever it takes to get pussy even if it means crying over a fight every night. I've seen a lot and have actually made the choice to RP over some of my friends, roommates and other acquantences decisions in regards to women.

ramot1 · 2015-10-30T05:32:02+00:00

You can either learn from somebody, or teach somebody. The choice isn't always yours.

JimiJons · 2015-10-30T05:44:25+00:00

TRP is for you, not for them. TRP guides first and foremost your behavior with yourself, and then your behavior with women. That's it. That's all. If your friends happen to find it themselves, or invite a situation for you to drop a little bit of wisdom, then hey, have at it. Otherwise, keep your trap shut lest you come off as a try-hard cunt who not only fails to impress his friends, but loses them too.

Dustin_Bromain · 2015-10-30T07:23:23+00:00

You know what, I'm not exempt from this post. Sometimes I do feel the ego start to bloat. I'm not some logical, all-knowing stoic God; I'm just a man. I need to tone my shit down. Good post OP.

[deleted] · 2015-10-30T12:56:52+00:00

[permanently deleted]

syrinj · 2015-10-29T21:42:58+00:00

Nice post. I've fallen into this trap once or twice myself. It helps keep both feet on the ground when someone tells me not to take myself too seriously in the process of swallowing the pill.

iLLprincipLeS · 2015-10-29T22:01:22+00:00

it's simple. the truth is not for everybody. some people just want to live a lie in their own world, while others are just not made for greater things.

it's like taking them to a great expedition to mars. you are the one who trained for so much time, and they.. they think mars is a chocolate bar. force them to come with you, and they will either run with your ship leaving you stranded on mars, or will somehow fuck it up even before leaving the orbit.

idontwanttostart · 2015-10-29T23:46:22+00:00

Thank you. Motherfucker be crazy about the red pill...

UFND · 2015-10-30T02:57:09+00:00

The "truth" is anything but male solipsism these days.

Luckyluke23 · 2015-10-30T03:01:08+00:00

Turn off the RP bullshit for a minute and stop holding everyone up to your standard. Be a man, stop bitching about friends.

I pretty much stopped doing this after I red " how to win friends and influence people' - dale carnegie

I would defo tell every one i know to read it!

LazyMagus · 2015-10-30T05:23:12+00:00

If you hold every BP decision against somebody, you aren't theirs (friend).

This should get some off their high horses.

sharp7 · 2015-10-29T23:11:04+00:00

Reminds me of one guy I know who is super into PUA culture. Its hilarious and sad seeing him struggle. His entire rep is ruined, not a single person trusts him. Even with friends he's constantly trying to seem cool. He's blocked and then readded me on facebook as well as threatened to block my phone number meanwhile I'm just face palming at the obvious insecurity. He finally got a gf and was telling me how it took him hundreds of tries and I supported his work ethic. Then we started talking about this guy we know and he tries to diss him for being fat and nerdy. Shit like that is unacceptable. The guy is nerdy and bad with women sure but hes a nice dude and very smart and has interesting albeit nerdy hobbies.

Its hilarious too seeing him struggle to get a gf over two years with his "game" meanwhile a nice cool guy we know who is just a good overall person gets one immediately and the PUA guy notices and thinks its a fluke and I have to explain to him no this is what happens when your a generally good person, good career, social skills, etc. When your great girls come to you. And when your a jackass 100% of the time no one likes you except the even more desperate losers looking for guidance.

Title	Stop Crying About Your Friends
Author	MCSkyscraper
Upvotes	390
Comments	65
Date	October 29, 2015 5:06 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3qq5i9/stop_crying_about_your_friends/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/stop-crying-about-your-friends.37676 https://theredarchive.com/post/37676

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