I used to think that the FZ was phenomenon only experienced by younger people. Who hears about the FZ happening in people over 30 years old? Usually once you get on into adulthood people wise up and realize what wasted efforts are.

Well today I met a dude who changed that belief. I met this guy Mark recently who has been in the down in the dumps for some period of time. Sensing his obvious trouble I asked him, "Hey man so what's the deal, what's going on?"

Then he comes out with this story - one as they say - is old as time. So this guy has this "friend" he's known for 10 years. They are tennis partners and speak on a regular basis, about 3-4 times a week. It's a completely one-sided situation. He's always doing shit for her - total boyfriend benefit with zero physical affection - not even a hug. This woman won't touch him. It's as bad as you can possibly expect. They've gone on trips together, including one recently where he flew across country with her to help her dispose of her father's ashes.

He begins to tell me about how his friendship with this woman is starting to cause him stress, anxiety and possibly depression. The latest episode was where they had another trip planned, in which he had already purchased the plane tickets for the both of them. The woman wanted to add to the trip and add a few more cities. He left her a message saying that he couldn't because such a thing would stretch his budget a bit further than he was comfortable with. This solicited a nasty message on his VM from and when they spoke, she demanded an apology from him.

I sat listening to this story for a few minutes in amusement. Finally, I was like "Dude, dude... Really? You can't be serious..." I could barely stop myself from laughing. His story was as typical as it gets. Ultimately what stopped me was the real anguish I could see in his face.

"I'm thinking about just cancelling the trip altogether. It'll cost me $100 bucks though." He said.

Smart plan.

$100 wasted is well worth salvaging what little shred of self respect that might be left.

It was weird. I had to break down some basic concepts of Red Pill theory to a 55 year old man. Let me type that again... A 55 YEAR OLD MAN...

I said to him, "It's been 10 years. If she hasn't sucked your dick by now, SHE'S NEVER GOING TO SUCK YOUR DICK" (My wife even laughed at that when I related the story to her)

To which his response was to put his hand over his face, slump his shoulders and drop his head. Epic facepalm.

It's like a bad poker game. You lose and lose and lose, but you stay in hoping to win it back. The thing is, in this game the deck is stacked against you and you continually hemorrhage pride and self respect. The loss of such things breed anger and resentment. I would totally consider the behavior of this woman, as he described it me, as completely predatory. This guy seemed not to have a mean bone in his body. He's an extremely nice and gentle sort of man. For 55, not hideous and not broke either, just kind and caring to a fault. She has been savaging him for a decade, gaslighting and abusing him emotionally.

Here's the kick of it. This is something I haven't exposed to this sub before, but I'm a recovered alcoholic with several years of sobriety. This conversation happened after a meeting. We were both celebrating anniversaries, my years more than doubling his.

I attend meetings because I want to help newcomers get sober. I want to be in service of others in this regard. I want to help the sick and suffering and give freely to those as was given freely to me years ago.

I'm sorry if I shatter the illusion many lurking TBPers have of "Terpers" being selfish lunatics, but I happen to believe that selfishness is poison - well at least to me it is. If anyone has ever read the Big Book, the dangers of selfishness is CLEARLY defined.

I would consider the Big Book to have the most selfless version of Christian altruism written in the 20th century. The wisdom contained within it's pages are transcendent to a level of art and beauty. It's a magnum opus of philosophical work. Yet in this masterwork, more resembling the true message of Jesus Christ then any other thing I've ever read, there still is a directive for self preservation:

We should be sensible, tactful, considerate and humble without being servile or scraping. As God’s people we stand on our feet; we don’t crawl before anyone.

Marinade on that.

Keeping it as simple as I can, intelligent and prudent sexual strategy is all about standing on one's own feet and not crawling before anyone.

I told him to stop putting this woman up on a pedestal and to start recognizing her human failings. He needed to stop bullshitting himself about the situation. I related to him a time when I was a teenager and went home to my mother complaining about the games the high school girls were playing with me and my mother said Girls are not nice. You're making the mistake of thinking that they are. They know you want to do nice things for them and they'll use that to their advantage. (I think I was like 15 and my mom was dropping Red Pill wisdom on me.)

As I see it, all the things discussed on this sub about the dangers men face in relationships are representative of the cultural moral failing of misandry and men being severely ill-equipped to deal with it. Men don't matter. Many believe our purpose is to be servile and feel zero remorse in treating us as such. There are definitely men who buy into that lie and fail to act in a self preserving fashion. They are blue pill.

We are not meant to be servile. We are meant to stand on our own, with a strong sense of self consideration.

In the case of the 55 year old man, his growing frustration, anger and resentment can lead to his death through alcoholic sickness, as such things are known to disrupt sobriety.

For the rest of society it can be nearly just as harmful.

Having a quiet, deep rooted confidence and innate awareness of self worth puts the game on easy mode. You naturally destroy shit tests and other forms of manipulation. You won't find yourself in inequitable relationships and marriages and you'll be far and away less prone to predatory behavior.

You can be of service to the people you love and care for, without being servile and scraping. You can exist without fear and cynicsm.