Who is that guy?

Summary: Be the guy who other people want to find out more about. Own the room when you walk in. Turn heads.

Body:

This one is part field report, part theory/reflection. Some of it may come across as bragging, and it kind of is. I've got a pretty kickass life right now. But I got this way on purpose, and I'm hoping to give some insight into how to get this way yourself.

I was invited to and attended a black tie event recently. One of those fundraiser auction events attended by the mega rich, celebrities (a rock star and an actress—more about her in a minute), etc. Tons of gorgeous women, mostly trophy wives, dressed to the nines. Rich men dropping tens of thousands of dollars on stuff that would normally cost a few hundred bucks. The lawyer who was at the next table is probably one of the highest-paid lawyers in the world (you've probably even heard of some of the suits he's worked), and he was one of the smaller fries in the room.

Aside from me, that is. I'm practically nobody. People were literally dropping the equivalent to my annual income on a few bottles of wine (for charity, and bragging rights). But I walked into that room and owned it in a way that I shouldn't be able to do, given my lack of status in that situation. You can do that too, by 1) being worthy, 2) turning heads, 3) preselection.

Be worthy. You have to first become the kind of man who gets invited to these events. Like I said, I'm nobody, but the man who invited me knows I'm the kind of guy he can invite to this kind of event and it won't reflect poorly on him. I'm interesting. My work is interesting to people. I know how to behave in this sort of setting. I don't make awkward jokes about "which fork do I use?" like one of the guys at my table did. I know how to have a good time. I can hold my own in any conversation which is likely to come up in that setting. With men: business, the food, wine, the outstanding scotch being served (that alone was worth the price of admission), the evening's entertainment; with women: all of that except business, plus the typical stuff you talk about with women (the celebrities in the room, her shoes, that one of her nostrils is bigger than the other, whatever).

The man who invited me introduced me to some of the heavy hitters in the room. He doesn't introduce people lightly, so basically, he was vouching for me. So people wanted to know who I was and what I do. This is where I'm at my best: I radiate passion when I talk about what I do, and it's magnetic. So when other men walk by and see these bigwigs hanging on to every word I'm saying, they wonder too, "Who is that guy?" They know I'm probably someone to take seriously. I made a lot of really good business and social contacts that night.

Turn heads. The women were curious about me too, partially because I had established some level of status by talking to the men, but partly because I looked like James Fucking Bond that night.

Men, learn how to dress well. It makes such a difference. 95% of the women that night looked exquisite. Dressed appropriately for the occasion, festive, had their hair, makeup, and nails done professionally, half of them probably had new dresses made especially for the occasion. The men looked like doofuses. Maybe a third of the men there didn't know what black tie meant. There were guys in blue shirts, khaki pants, suits, the whole range of attire. They looked like they had come straight from work. These are serious men making tons of money, but they looked like shit.

I, on the other hand, rolled in looking like James Bond. I have a classic, masculine side part haircut and short stubble. I carry myself with confidence, like the room is mine. I was wearing an expensive Italian-made tuxedo. Quick lesson here: learn how to spot quality clothes, and what to look for as far as alterations. New, this tux retailed for around $4000, but I bought it on ebay for about $200. It hadn't even been worn—the pockets were still sewn shut—but it had been altered and the alteration made it so that the measurements were really unusual, hence the low price. I knew the alteration could be undone, so I bought it and took it to a great tailor. Now it looks like it was custom made for me.

I walked past a group of women, a few of whom were pretty hot. I hear a few of them say "Who is that?" as I walk past. Then I hear one of them call out my name. Turns out she was an acquaintance of mine. She introduced me to her friends. I flirted, she smacked me and laughed.

The actress I mentioned earlier, I met about a year ago at a bar. I'm not familiar with many Japanese celebrities (I live in Japan), so I didn't know who she was at the time (although it turns out she's had small roles in Hollywood movies most of you have probably seen), but someone else in the bar told me she was an actress. She was all over me that night, and we live near each other so I could have easily gone home with her. But she was way too drunk, so I walked with her for a few minutes, got her contact info, and then got her a cab home. We talked a bit, but she's skittish because of her status as a celebrity and the fact that she's married. She was at the black tie event with her husband, and you should have seen the look on her face when she recognized me. We caught up for a while and she apologized for not meeting me again.

Preselection. And that brings me to preselection. Women saw me talking to that group of women. Women saw me talking to the actress. And they saw the girl I brought as my date, who is exceptionally beautiful, classy, elegant, and was wearing this jaw-dropping red dress and 6-inch heels. She was easily the most gorgeous woman in the room. We're not involved sexually (anymore), we're just good friends, but having her with me, plus being seen talking to the actress, etc., and let's just say I had no problem meeting women that night.

Preselection also came into play with the men, but in a different way. Of course, I got nods of approval when they saw the girl I was with, but like I mentioned earlier, when they found out who invited me they wanted to learn more about me. I had already earned the stamp of approval in their eyes.

So I owned the event. I'm still nobody in that context, but I squeezed everything I could out of it. I made new business connections, got some prospective pussy, and had a great time.

Conclusion

• Be the type of man that other men take seriously. It opens up doors.
• Learn how to dress and how to carry yourself so you turn heads. Be the guy other people want to find out more about.
• Use preselection to your advantage whenever possible, with women and men. Associate yourself with quality people, and you'll attract more quality people into your life.