Why do men want to marry? Why?

OmegaX11 · 2016-12-23T04:04:13+00:00

Well, it's not for everyone. I'm personally against government involvement in relationships at all (at least in the sense of being in charge of such a binding relationship) however, men are not all the same.

What you want out of life is not the same as what I want. I'm a fairly high SMV male and I could probably net broads fairly easily and spin plates, but I don't want that. Am I nuts? No. I don't think so.

TRP is a good resource, a good place to learn what landmines to avoid and some basic guidance. Not marrying is a good bit of general advice to give, but I don't think it should apply to every single case. I do want monogamy. I want to raise a family. Like it or not, it is objectively better to do this in the confines of a traditional family. I grew up in a home with good parents who are still together, I have (and still do) witness the pros of this kind of lifestyle. I look at it long term, when I'm in my 60s do I really still want to be fucking around with trying to hook up with people? Still spinning plates or just spending time with "the boys"? Me personally? No, not really. I understand the shit you put up with in a real LTR with marriage as an end goal, and the shit you deal with in a marriage. But it's worth it to me. Not to everyone, but with the woman I'm with, it is to me.

It's not for everybody, and I understand your confusion. I personally am at a loss why you wouldn't ever even want to consider it. But different strokes as they say. I've taken all the safety precautions should shit ever go south, and my woman only knows my dick, which nets me statistically higher odds of success. Beyond that, if it's something you never would want to consider for yourself I don't know how much better I can explain it. Having a family appeals to me. If it doesn't to you, then don't ever fuckin get married.

MattyAnon · 2016-12-23T04:11:15+00:00

to those men who have wanted to be or have been married.... WHY? Why??? Why in the world would you want to bang one chick for the rest of your life, even in theory?

I always presumed I would marry a nice loyal decent girl who would appreciate me and suck my cock like a prostitute.

Like many men, I just assumed "this is what you do" - find the best one you can, and enjoy decades of her gratitude and appreciation for your monogamy sacrifice.

Women saved me from this fate by being themselves and never living up to the dream they sold me on. They weren't bad people, but none of them were anywhere close to being good enough to be legally bonded to.

And unlike most of my friends and family, I was honest enough with myself to see through the lies and bullshit. Everyone else said "THIS one is special" but I could never see it. Turns out I was right.

Why would you want to do it (or why did you actually do it)?

Usually I think it's attachment to a particular girl who then says "marry me or I'll leave" or some shaming like "make a decent woman of me". Or unwillingness to put the effort into staying afloat in the sexual market place.

Just in case this post is confusing for my loyal fans, let me make my position clear:

Do Not Marry

abbafishhead · 2016-12-23T10:26:55+00:00

Men marry mainly out of fear of loneliness and of social pressure. The only scenario I can see myself marrying is to marry wayyy up (e.g. Triple H marrying Stephanie McMahon -- you get the point) to open up doors to unprecedented opportunities, access, status bump, wealth, etc.

lizardking47 · 2016-12-23T05:24:37+00:00

raising kids, pretty much the only reason.

[deleted] · 2016-12-23T04:21:35+00:00

People need good lies. There are too many bad ones.

[deleted] · 2016-12-23T04:57:21+00:00

Marriage makes zero sense when you really think about it. Would you ever sign a binding contract to prove your devotion to a close friend? Of course not because that's a ridiculous expectation to have of someone. People change and so do your relationships with those people. Why subject yourself to future enslavement when you can simply enjoy what you have while it lasts?

questionac · 2016-12-23T04:51:30+00:00

At first I just wanted the "dream", pure love fantasy. I just want one woman really, don't need another.

But then I learned that women can't love like that because of their nature, so now I can't love them like that either.

That guy in that other thread, he was great for 15years and what did he get for it? That was just disgusting. The thought of such a thing happening to me is terrifying, as I got "crazy" over losing a few weeks of investment on a girl, imagine 15 years. To be arrogant to think that you or she are special and that can't happen to you is not wise. So I must be prepared for everything every day, and be ready to move on immediately if I get married.

So yeah...the "dream"? It's not happening...

Still I'd like a family eventually, getting as close to the "dream" as possible. And it is the best environment to raise kids on, so there's that. There are a lot of things to consider and do before it though.

Women reading this would probably think something "cruel" like

"if you're not man enough to take the risk or man enough to keep me interest you're just a pussy"

I think something like that would be their response to men that were once willing to give everything for them and the "dream", that they're pussies.

Ruthless.

Hillarysdilddo_2016 · 2016-12-23T07:15:17+00:00

However, I personally don't think marriage is good for men even in an ideal male world. Why? Because it demands partnering and monogamy.

But you've started with an incorrect premise. Marriage does not have to be monogamous. Don't forget polygamy, the way of men.

J-baller · 2016-12-23T03:53:18+00:00

Because some men are pussies who think they get married to "lock down" the woman to themselves. I'm 25 and I never want marriage either.

sir_wankalot_here · 2016-12-23T04:50:39+00:00

It is the soul mate myth. Basically from day one, men are brought up their life has no meaning without women, it isn't something know, they have been conditioned that way since the beginning of time. It isn't until TRP or MGTOW that this is starting to change.

http://acrackletsthelightin.info/2016/07/22/the-soulmate-myth/

[deleted] · 2016-12-23T21:22:25+00:00

I can't believe how blue pill the comments here are...

Tough pill to swallow I guess that no woman will ever love you like mommy.

IMissMamasBorsch · 2016-12-23T05:30:15+00:00

Looking at the way you're asking this question I think you won't probably be able to understand. Buf just to give you an opposite view:

Marriage is not an actual partnership. Well, not in my culture anyway (Russian). Men are usually expected to lead and women - to follow.
Not all males around you prefer hypergamy. I can't imagine how sleeping around with random chicks is different from banging a latex doll. Well, I mean, its okay to do this and, for example, eat fast food, when you're 20, but in my 30's I prefer a healthy food and a well-behaved women.
I want children and it's natural to be married if you want this. Children need both parents. Not a father and a set of random chicks. There is a Russian proverb: "Mother is for weekdays, and father is for holidays". It's not healthy to have only holidays you know.

RPMahoutsukai · 2016-12-23T09:00:22+00:00

There are three aspects to marriage, as I see it.

Monogamous sex.
Commitment to a liftetime partnership.
Contract with the government.

First, monogamous sex, is up to personal preference.

Most men, as I understand, are polygamous. I am not. I never had an urge to cheat if sex is good with my primary. I don't know how much other men desire to fuck other women just for the sake of fucking other women. Maybe if it's too much they really need to either just abandon the idea of partnering up with someone or find a way to have an open-with-conditions relationship on their side (wife allows them to sometimes fuck someone else on condition that they use condoms, develop no feelings and waste no money on other woman). I've heard about several married RP men who posted here and have just that kind of relationship.

And yes, after about 2 years of relationship there is a little dip in libido towards the same woman, biology tells you to move on to someone else, but you do pass it, and it restores, and it's awesome again. I have personally experienced it. It passed. Everything is awesome again now. It's just a moment you have to plunge through. Like a month. And it goes back to happy fucking again.

And you can't fuck while she's on the worst part of her period. Depends on your girl. For mine it's 2 days. She can still service you in many ways so you don't have to miss out that much!

That's it for the negatives. Benefits, however, are limitless. Sex can be so much more than just "fucking a girl". Sex can be SO MUCH MORE than just a rush to pound her and and ejaculate.

You can do BDSM and elevate her (and yourself) to untold levels of pleasure, you can do stuff like let her exit her body and fly around the planet for like minutes (I'm not kidding, this happens), you can roleplay all sorts of kinky scenarios that will make you (and her) feel SO FUCKING GOOD it's insane. When you know exactly how she works, how her body works, when you learned her and learned to understand her, there is so much fun you can do with her. You can also teach her. Reach untold levels of trust. Roleplay your desired kinks or just live the roles you always wanted and enjoy it tremendously. I am definetly gonna enjoy people (in the know) recognizing that a necklace on her neck is actually a slave's collar and subtly congratulate her and me for showing off our DS dynamic in public.

Then there is Karezza. Or "doing it very slowly for a long period in time". You can do it long and sensual. It's completely different to the hurried rushed fucking. It's serene, it's like a meditation. You can do it for hours or more. You feel your souls connect through your physical connection. Energy flowing. It's awesome.

Then there's tantra and other things. It's just something plate spinning PUA won't ever encounter in his life. All this requires months, years spent together, learning each other, learning to trust each other. This cannot be attained with your plate or someone you just keep for sex because "she's not yours, it's just your turn".

Second, commitment to a liftetime partnership, again is up to personal preference and cultural situation.

I'm Russian. I can trust that my woman will not be twisted into a femenist abomination. Femenism does not flourish in our environment. Sure, women work now and women often expect you to treat them as equals in society, but there's no extreme bullshit that is Xth wave or whatever. If she tells her co-workers or friends she does the house duties and is happy to do so, and I earn most money and make most decisions at home, which she gladly obeys, she won't get told she's being "used" and "treated badly" - they'd congratulate her, they'd be jealous of her!

Looking at what's going on in cucked western civ right now, what's going on in USA right now, I dunno. Maybe it's just not safe to expect a woman can stay your lifelong partner without being twisted and corrupted by social indoctrination and becoming an abomination. I've just read this, http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4059800/Pity-husbands-Los-Angeles-sex-therapist-claims-city-s-Hillary-supporting-women-lost-libido-Trump-won.html and I'm thinking wether I can make a worthy post of it. But really? Husband has strong political opinion, wife says "well fuck you then, no sex". What? Fuck off from my home bitch! Oh shit, can't do that, I'll be the one homeless because divorce laws!

I guess you need to either live in a controlled environment, like, a city that is mostly conservative and stubborn as shit, or have a very properly up-brought woman, basically a virgin unicorn, which values you a fucking lot, so that she can go though the whole life and not get corrupted by the culture.

That thing aside, there's a LOT of benefits of having a wife, really. You get to express your masculinity, care for her, fix stuff, and she gets wet and horny for you - no really, it's awesome! You do simple things that men do, and see how it affects her, and that's just exquisite! She can (and should) also be useful and thus you, plain and simple, get more free time (both of you, since you also take care for some of her problems). You get to do stuff together, you get to build your life together, you get to build your house together, maybe even buisness together. Just don't expect her to be a man, understand her strong and weak points, her limitations, and it's going to work perfectly!

Third point, the contract, obviously, I could do without (and everybody in the west/usa probably should). Marriage institution is fucked up. Laws fucked up. Everything fucked up. The only reason I'm legally married is because she will have it very bad in the Russia's conservative society. People will think she's literally a slut for living with a man 9 years older than her and not being married. People will tell her things like "you'll get older he'll dump you for a new 21yo one" and "you're being used" and "you're just his fucktoy" and "you'd better prepare when you're out on the street". So yeah, a ring protects her from all that crap. And Russian laws are not that bad - I still lose my child but I don't lose anything I owned before marriage, so my hard-earned shit is safe, and there is (most cases) no alimony, only child support, which I will have ways to enforce her to spend on the child, not herself. So I decided I can afford this to make her have it easy.

stumje · 2016-12-23T04:45:44+00:00

ah someone who feels the same as me. my answer to your question is . woman don't realling want marriages they want the honeymoons and wedding from both soical contionaing and their narture. most guys at some point in the redpill game is that they find a girl that just makes the abosulte fall in love and most likely start a family, but fuck that just part of the game of life. but me personally i hope to op for an open realationship and to see if it can fulfill me

Kryptic_Knight · 2016-12-23T11:25:48+00:00

Besides the tax part?

Loneliness. Ultimately one of the corner stones of the human condition. Its nice having the ol mare cook you up some din din after a long day. Or just having someone to fuck whenever you want. Kinda how the whole human race got a long. What you mean to ask OP is;

How did so many simps lose the power vacuum in said marriage?

To which I can only respond with; very few men are red pill and or MGTOW. The majority are defeatist, yes men who would rather be yelled at than actually stand and reply in protest. This is nothing new mind you, people just make it seem new. The 40's had the "every man" who was a bad ass and either went, or was ready to go to war. A lot of these "men" were teens. Underdeveloped both mentally and sexually. That mentality is enough to find you a wife and drop a nut inside her.

The alpha's or MGTOW's either had plenty of bastards or "married" their high school sweetheart, I use the term "married" loosely as, a lot of these guys (I have relatives like this) just kept fucking the same woman for 10+ years, without having to buy them a ring or sign a paper in court. These are the smart men, they might not even be alpha, but they're smart enough to know not to tie some kind of twisted knot.

AmeriStasi · 2016-12-23T20:57:40+00:00

Did you reproduce? I want a family, and don't want to end up being an evolutionary dead end. I've got strong genes, and they're gonna make it to the next generation. 3 kids ideally. Need a woman to stay put and raise them. And they need to be around so I can teach my sons how to be men.

[deleted] · 2016-12-23T05:53:44+00:00

I'll probably get married in the near future because it aligns with what I want from life. I spent years running a harem and banging multiple girls at once but I have realised that I am monogamous by nature. I also want children and I want to raise them in a traditional family. Getting married doesn't mean that you are automatically going to get fucked over, especially if you are aware of the principles talked about here on TRP.

mike_cool · 2016-12-23T05:48:23+00:00

They think it will secure them some pussy. They think wrong.

[deleted] · 2016-12-23T12:59:14+00:00

It's for your potential offspring, marriage is supposed to be a binding contract that says hey let's raise this kid together. If you have a kid out of wedlock, willingly. Kill yourself, you just created a goddamn criminal or an autistic loser. Dadless kids will be drug addicts, retards, criminals, and not know how to handle women simultaneously. You ruined your kid's life.

[deleted] · 2016-12-23T17:45:18+00:00

However, I personally don't think marriage is good for men even in an ideal male world. Why? Because it demands partnering and monogamy.

Your ideal male world might be different than someone else's, but in an ideal male world, it wouldn't demand monogamy on your end.

All else being equal, there are conditions where it could be beneficial to men. We just don't have that situation as our current reality.

ialdabaoth · 2016-12-23T19:22:05+00:00

I want to get married. I don't want monogamy. Any potential LTR that I date will know this and be okay with it, or she isn't for me.

I want to get married because someday I will want children, and I will want the community to recognize my rights regarding those children.

I want to get married because I take vows and oaths seriously, and I want to declare publicly that I am committing to all the acts that will raise strong children, commit permanently to my community, and signal to my neighbors that I am trustworthy and secure.

... oh, wait, do you mean that farce of a thing they call "marriage" down in the courthouse?

Yeah, fuck that.

Millixaw · 2016-12-23T19:26:13+00:00

On a related note, I think marriage is especially bad for gay men.

I mean, I want it to be legal (for symbolic reasons), but I want the majority of my gay brethren to be against it personally. ("I'm glad others can get married, but it's not for me.") The majority of my smart gay friends think like this.

Gay marriage only benefits the lesser-income of the two men.

[deleted] · 2016-12-23T19:31:03+00:00

I am struggling to cope with the fact that a woman who has been with more than 1 sexual partner is very much incapable of becoming a great wife/LTR... how do I cope with this?

Every hot girl I know has had a slutty past and rode the Cock Carousel

feminists_are_dumb · 2016-12-23T19:33:50+00:00

The point of marriage has always been to raise kids. If you don't want kids, then marriage is still a suckers bet, even in a 'perfect' world.

harkrank · 2016-12-24T01:17:02+00:00

You're pushing 42 and don't understand this yet?

Men want marriage so they can raise their children to be successful instead of having their children raped by their stepfather.

Marriage was never monogamous for the man. In cultures without open polygamy men would have mistresses. Marriage was the deal that in exchange for her womb and nursing of small children she'd have her livelihood guaranteed by the man.

Sure, I guess you could keep your children and raise them and get rid of the woman, but then you'd need to feed and clothe another person to take care of them anyway. In the past if you as a man left your children they would be sold into sexual or labour slavery. Still goes on in much of the world.

madethewrongmistake · 2016-12-24T08:36:58+00:00

Well, in my case, it was because I didn't give up any plates, and I made her go pick up girls with me. It's a great feeling to tell a girl you just picked up to eat pussy and watch her do it for the first time just because you said it like a man. Worked really well for a few years. Now she's on a fucking mission to ruin my life. Yeah, totally fucked now, but just saying the monogamy didn't seem like an issue.

newName543456 · 2016-12-24T09:09:55+00:00

Not everyone is so against monogamy in principle. I am not for instance. But I'm also not for it sufficiently to endure costs incurred by institution of marriage.

Fuknmods · 2016-12-24T15:46:17+00:00

why marry

To raise your kid in a stable house. Marriage is ultimately about production of children. Has been until muh womyns liberation. Read any study on child rearing, you give your kid the best chance at life with a mother and father living alone together in the same household.

Fuck marriage, im gonna cohabitate and be sure to avoid common law marriage states (or live in ones with a clause, in MA you need to want to marry on top of living together in order to be common law'd).

coolasice007 · 2016-12-24T17:39:23+00:00

Clean pussy that's all I would marry for...I don't want spend my life wearing rubbers or having anxiety about not using...honestly don't need marriage for clean pussy just a loyal female which isn't 100% in any case...if stds and pregnancy didn't exist I would never settle down

yomo86 · 2016-12-24T19:40:11+00:00

My take would be cost-benefit. The first level - and this is where modern marriages fail - is : what is in it for me? Back in the day the rule was you get married, you stick to the marriage, divorce is never an option except for domestic abuse and drinking problems ie social fallout. Today it is the rule. Furthermore any legal instrument that marriage combines are also abstract from marriage itself. Want to leave something for the GF draft up a will, want someone to have power of attorney when you are sick draft such a document, want to have a security net in case you are disabled, get an insurance. The list goes on.

warm20 · 2017-02-04T16:12:41+00:00

personally, my core value is not about banging some meaty vaginas, marriage is more an experience of having a partner that you are compatible with as you may raise up kids if you decide to bring any or adopt.

Curlbro87 · 2016-12-23T13:21:41+00:00

You are getting downvoted a lot here with your post because you aren't accepting of other views. You asked a question seeking opinions of others, stated your position, but then simply refused other people's views and differing opinions on marriage.

I will offer another different view for you to consider.

I am 34 married, been with the lady maybe 12 years. We have a 3 year old. I am very very happy. I wanted a kid, and the family unit with both a mother and father is the way to go. For the sake of the child.

With that being said, our marriage is different then most. We are swingers. So I get the benefit of banging new women a lot. Variety is great.

Most of the time we are regular husband and wife, have regular parties with vanilla friends and family.

But probably one weekend a month our kid is with grandparents, and we party at swingers events, clubs, vacations, or hotel parties. Crazy stuff that most men dream about. Sex parties where sleeping with 4 women in a night is not a big deal. I've had more threesomes than I can count. (Humblebragging here obviously)

I am not sure the motive for your post, why you wrote it. But if you are feeling empty perhaps, notice you are now in your 40s, feel like something is missing, but cant see yourself being with one woman, maybe swinging would work for you. You would have the benefits that come from a long term relationship, but also the benefits of new women.

This TRP sub is against swinging because it cannot grasp the concept of not being bothered by another man sleeping with my wife. They feel it is not alpha.

I completely disagree. I reason that one must be confident enough to allow their wife to get banged at parties, and not worry about her leaving.

Title	Why do men want to marry? Why?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	22
Comments	125
Date	December 23, 2016 3:08 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5juuo2/why_do_men_want_to_marry_why/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/why-do-men-want-to-marry-why.65622 https://theredarchive.com/post/65622

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Do Not Marry