Why I think Red Pill does relationships a disservice.

GaiusScaevolus · 2013-07-21T19:43:30+00:00

This post seems very much like a Post Modernist NAWALT.

scottishredpill · 2013-07-21T19:42:12+00:00

Like n0c0ntr0l, I am also struggling to see the point of your post. I am glad you have meet someone that makes you happy. Good luck :)

In reply to your question here: http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1irjb2/why_i_think_red_pill_does_relationships_a/cb7c7fk I have had many healthy relationships with women using TRP philosophies

favours_of_the_moon · 2013-07-21T19:37:38+00:00

We're not here to please you.

Every woman on the planet will say I'M NOT LIKE THAT. Because she doesn't WANT to consider herself like that.

If you're happy, good for you.

n0c0ntr0l · 2013-07-21T19:30:03+00:00

This whole post of yours is entirely anecdotal and thus frankly I don't really see what your point is. Great your relationship works for you, whatever, but for most guys they want something completely different. You are not the norm, and don't try and paint yourself as such.

Have you considered that some of us do not want our girls going out and banging other random guys (and it's not a matter of insecurity, we just don't)?

W-Z-R · 2013-07-21T19:48:37+00:00

we simply weren't compatible enough for the long run.

My bullshit sensors sort of started tingling when I read this.

Then I thought maybe I was wrong when I read about the amazing guy, then I read this:

we're in an open relationship.

and I just stopped reading.

Enjoy your life OP

redfishesbluefishes · 2013-07-21T19:45:27+00:00

But I feel sorry for people who buy into the kind of man vs woman ideas you propagate. I don't see how a healthy, happy relationship between equals could ever come of that kind of thinking. And if you don't want a relationship between equals, then we clearly want different things. But I think it says something about you if you are so unconfident that you specifically want someone weaker/dumber/less than you, or if you view your partner or potential partners that way.

"Equals" in your argument is not defined.

TRP is about accepting that men and women are different in important ways, and that the man who does not recognize this is dating at a disadvantage. Most of us want women who are what we aren't - soft, sweet, nurturing, and often submissive. That does not mean they are "weaker/dumber/less than", just different.

It is your insecurity that leads you to believe that this sort of relationship must be unhealthy and the result of an "unconfident" person seeking some sort of validation. Not all of use are turned on by nerdy bisexuals that would permit an open relationship or women jockeying to be held as equal in all respects (whatever that means). Personally, I was married to an aggressive, assertive, independent woman for 10 years and found it exhausting.

But please, continue to shame away while displaying your ignorance.

themoor · 2013-07-21T20:16:16+00:00

Standard textbook solipsism.

How many times does she use "I" in her missive?

And then she takes her experience as a generalizable set of truisms to apply across the board.

2013-07-21T19:48:51+00:00

Ah, a bisexual/queer/transsomething/formerly sexually abused/feminist woman telling us what we're doing wrong.

anra · 2013-07-21T20:30:01+00:00

Three years ago, I met the man who's my match. He's intelligent, extremely hot, fit, goal-oriented, and adventurous. Our first date was rappelling down a cliff and making out at the bottom.

please disregard how well TRP describes me.

-OP

AlwaysLateToThreads · 2013-07-21T20:59:02+00:00

You're in the wrong place. This sub seems to unofficially support short term dating strategies. Guys goals here aren't necessarily to support the best dynamic for healthy long term relationships, although we do have quite a few here.

/r/redpillwomen on the other hand seems to unofficially support long term dating strategies. There's many men there too. Go voice your concerns over at /r/redpillwomen where men and women gather with goals similar to yours.

I think you misunderstand trp. The redpill in and of itself is knowledge. Knowledge isn't evil. Some men use this knowledge to bang 1000 chicks, other men use it to have a fulfilling and happy marriage. Not every redpiller is the same, were different and have different goals.

projectself · 2013-07-21T21:07:53+00:00

"However, I don't think your 'red pill' philosophy is adding much toward finding a solution to the problem"

That's because it isn't.

It is recognition of the world, not a solution to it. Everyone must navigate their own path for themselves, but recognition of the real honest motivations and expectations are important. It's not how do we solve the problem, it's hey look, there is a problem and if you do this you can be successful despite it.

mescalineeyes · 2013-07-21T20:13:28+00:00

The problem is not that TRP is doing relationships a disservice, the problem is that most men do not lead a relationship in a very TRP way and end up getting disappointed over and over again.

I also think that if your boyfriend was as amazing as you claim, you'd be heartbroken over him fucking other women. And if you were as amazing as you claim you are, so would he be.

Look, I'm real happy for you if you think this is working out, but don't bring this nonsense into here. There's nothing worthwhile to your post, there is nothing insightful included in it and we have nothing to go on to draw any sort of conclusion from it.

redfishesbluefishes · 2013-07-21T20:14:59+00:00

TRP makes you see relationships for what they are - an exchange of services. One person pays the dough because they value sex, the other gives out sex because they value the dough.

"But I think it says something about you if you are so unconfident that you specifically want someone weaker/dumber/less than you"

Women are hypergamous. Would you like me to take this further?

redfishesbluefishes · 2013-07-21T20:57:13+00:00

I don't think your 'red pill' philosophy is adding much toward finding a solution to the problem

A "solution to the problem"? Are you honestly expecting to find a roadmap to changing all of modern society on reddit? Should there be just 3 or 4 easy steps?

I have always paid for my half... I have never wanted a man or woman to support me...

I put in the effort to be as attractive as I could be, as successful, as interesting, and as multi-faceted and well-rounded as possible.

I figured the better a person I could become, the more likely I'd attract the kind of person I wanted to be with...

I was able to easily reject so much of the crap like 'guy should pay for dates', 'guy should buy the girl flowers', etc. It's a two-way street or the street is broken, in my opinion.

That sounds like the advice we give here.

Three years ago, I met the man who's my match. He's intelligent, extremely hot, fit, goal-oriented, and adventurous.

Congrats! Well, if this anecdote is different from what you would normally find here, you would have him locked up in a successful monogamous relationship rather than letting him sleep with...

... we're in an open relationship

Or not. So far I fail to see how this anecdote invalidates anything.

It's never caused problems, because we know we love each other, and at the end of the day, we know we'll be together.

How do you know that?

But I feel sorry for people who buy into the kind of man vs woman ideas you propagate.

I bet the guy in the open relationship with a woman who doesn't force him to pay for everything and puts an effort into her appearance doesn't feel sorry. Ultimately, your own anecdote kind of invalidates your "I don't see how a healthy, happy relationship between equals could ever come of that kind of thinking" statement.

ideas you propagate

that kind of thinking

You conveniently never explicitly define your impression of the ideas being propagated.

if you are so unconfident that you specifically want someone weaker/dumber/less than you

Where does it specifically say that?

DesiAntiFeminist · 2013-07-21T21:12:02+00:00

You are an outlier female in terms of your personality and goals. Most females DO NOT feel or act like you do, nor do they want and enjoy the things you say you want and enjoy.

Your problem is your solipsism.

redfishesbluefishes · 2013-07-21T19:34:17+00:00

I didn't make it past "To give you context, I'm a 27-year-old bisexual woman"

Considering that most women that call themselves bisexual are full of shit, I am sure your entire post is full of shit.

EDIT: Source: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-biggest-lies-in-online-dating/

DaddyMonster · 2013-07-21T21:00:33+00:00

Run of the mill female solipsism:

"Your entire philosophy is wrong because [insert personal anecdote], and [insert hamstering], and it makes me feel [insert emotions]. Also, [insert shaming tactics] and [insert straw man]".

Your post is fully 3/4 about you, and that's being generous. You. Not TRP and whatever you have against it. Can you wrap your mind around how self-centered you are?

2013-07-21T21:30:20+00:00

If this woman fucks like she whines, her boyfriend is in for a real treat.

Viaate · 2013-07-21T19:48:00+00:00

In addition, we're in an open relationship

A successful relationship isn't a open one.

I bet your man has a great personality, looks blah blah blah but if you can't handle not fucking other people then you prove that "equality" in relationships is the wrong way to go.

Of course maybe your man enjoys you being fucked by other people, but a well-adjusted, self-respecting man would never allow their girlfriend to fuck other people.

I bet you couldn't even handle having a normal relationship with this guy, you really can't just fuck him? Maybe it's because he isn't alpha enough that you have to fuck other people.

I don't see how a healthy, happy relationship between equals could ever come of that kind of thinking.

Healthy. Yes. Happy. Yes. Equal. No.

The relationship doesn't have to be equal to be happy.

redfishesbluefishes · 2013-07-21T20:11:33+00:00

[permanently deleted]

grubstake · 2013-07-21T19:45:31+00:00

But I think it says something about you if you are so unconfident that you specifically want someone weaker/dumber/less than you, or if you view your partner or potential partners that way.

I think it says so much more about you that you spent 6 paragraphs on your own background to somehow prove that NAWALT.

identifies as feminist and pro-equal rights across the board

Hahaha. Not compatible. Stop kidding yourself.

I'm a 27-year-old bisexual woman

I met the man who's my match

We both have the complete freedom to date or sleep with other people as we like

When they [previous relationships] ended, they ended on good terms, because we simply weren't compatible enough for the long run

Or he's just using you for a regular lay. And now financial support. I love this guy.

Edit: formatting

Title	Why I think Red Pill does relationships a disservice.
Author	redfishesbluefishes
Upvotes	0
Comments	68
Date	July 21, 2013 7:26 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1irjb2/why_i_think_red_pill_does_relationships_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/why-i-think-red-pill-does-relationships-a.5698 https://theredarchive.com/post/5698

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